Well hate to say this but you are right about the 40's thing and hubby turned 55 this year. There are actual physical changes the man's body goes through that makes him extra tired etc. Didn't believe it myself but did a google search - kind of a male menopause thing but forget what terms I used.
It does sound like there may be some underlying depression from pent up sadness at play here too. Nutrition awareness and exercise - he needed supervised fitness to maintain the physical standards he needs in the military so that helped a lot as the more he exercised the better he felt.
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