How much do you intervene?

[apples and bananas]

I will not allow anything physical and when something like hitting or pulling comes up I will intervene and give the kids words to use and let them know their hands are not the way to solve their problem.

Most of my problems are kids taking toys from one another and someone comes to tell, so the first thing I say is "did you ask little johnny to give you your toy back?" They usually say no and go and ask and the toy comes back.

I really believe in teaching kids to problem solve. If johnny takes your toy, ask him to give it back. If you still can't solve the problem then ask an adult for help.

I discourage hugs as well. Toddlers are taught by parents to say sorry and give hugs. But hugs aren't always welcome. As nice as a hug is they need to learn that someone's space is their own. You can ask if you can give them a hug... but we don't just walk up and hug someone.

I think it's hard for a toddler to understand the difference between a hug and pulling their friend by their shirt to come and play. Both are good intentions in their mind.

[KellyP]

Kelly P...How do your daycare children understand that it is okay to rough house, which is physical but they aren't ever allowed to physically touch anyone else??? Seems like it's mixed messages there to a group of children who are at an age where they would easily find it confusing to differentiate between when it is appropriate and when it isn't. I understand what you are saying that if they are in a situation where they have to share or aren't getting their own way then it isn't appropriate to resort to physical contact such as pushing, hitting etc but age 3 and under is such a funny age that in my experience this would be something that would commonly be misunderstood.

I'm sorry, I should have been clearer about how I manage that....
I allow rough housing for the older kids. (usually the 4/5 and up crowd) AFTER they understand the difference between playing and just being mean.

The couple boys I have now are 4.7 yrs old and 5.2 years old and both have been with me a while and are great friends. I allow them to wrestle and rough house with each other in FUN and when BOTH are willing participants. I don't allow a free for all kind of rough housing.

Boy, this is hard to explain in print and without getting lengthy....

It just works good so far with the group I have. No one is mean and they seem to rough house nicely...LOL! Is that even possible... I do try and give the kids a bit of lea-way because I am NOT a school but a family child care provider so I feel I can be a bit individualized with the rules...and so far with this current group, it works nicely.

I've had other groups where I couldn't allow the kids to even be within arms reach of each other without someone thinking someone else was being mean or intrusive....

I hope that makes more sense...

[Cadillac]

3 year olds are SO bossy.

LOL . . . . escpecially the girls

[bright sparks]

3 year olds are SO bossy.

LOL . . . . escpecially the girls

Yes lol I have a 3 year old girl and 3 year old boy leaving for school this year and I've had them both for nearly 3 years and the girl is super bossy. Yesterday she actual said to him..." Do I look like I'm laughing?....No!" It was like listening to a cocky teenager. I also look after her nearly 2yr old brother who is a major handful at the moment in part to his age but also due to his overpowering bossy sister. I think she is definitely ready for school.

[daisy]

I allow rough-housing, IMO it is an important part of human development. Like everything else, I teach them how, but they also teach themselves - there is only so much a friend will endure and that is an important part of growing and learning.
An interesting read to support rough-housing: http://psychcentral.com/lib/6-benefi...r-kids/0007973

As far as the arguing - I often take a wait-and-see approach and if it goes arwy, I try and guide them back on course. We talk about how we would want to feel ect.

[sunnydays]

Daisy, the article is interesting. I actually agree that boys in particular seem to have a need to rough-house and it is nearly impossible to stop them from doing it at a point. What I struggle with though, in my daycare, is allowing them to do it without hurting the little kids who find themselves in the the middle of it. My 5 year old son loves rough play and would love the younger kids to join him, but they are too little. When he has a boy closer to his age, they have a great old time, but it gets a bit loud and chaotic and I am worried that one of the little ones might get hurt. I know the boys would be happy to rough-house all day, but I can't send the other kids home with bruises.

[daisy]

I guess I have been lucky - physical play has always been part of my daycare (I have been doing this for 7 years). There are certainly times when it needs to be checked and even sometimes stopped, but that is all part of being a kid.
As far a bruises...that made me laugh out loud - all of my kids get bruises - they are toddlers for goodness sake!! They trip and fall over their own shadows!