How much do you intervene?

[ladyjbug]

I agree about the rough-housing, I just have a hard time with the grey area type things... Like chasing one another. Just trying to find the balance between letting them run wild, and constantly telling them "don't do that."

Has anyone tried a wait-and-see approach with the arguing? I went to a conference recently and one of the speakers had theorized that children miss out on learning to problem solve within their interactions when parents/caregivers jump in to solve it for them. Made me stop me think about how I "let" them play with one another. Just thought I'd see if anyone else takes that approach, or if I'm crazy to even consider it!

I don't allow rough play. I let them chase each other, but the line is HANDS OFF. Once you connect, then you are too close. You can run, you can jump, you can play, you can explore, but you are not to do it in close enough contact to touch one of your friends. Of course, I have crawlers at the moment, so I am pretty strict about those things. Rough play is for at home. No liability for me at their home. My kids rough play with their Dad after hours.

As for the wait and see approach, I do much like Playfelt. I don't allow it to get to screaming, but try to let them work it out on their own to a point. Still, if it's getting out of hand or too heated, I believe it is my role as a caregiver to help them sort it out, so I intervene. In my opinion, a lot of the experts have spent much of their time with their head in a book or writing their own and not actually taking care of groups of children. They have a lot of theories, but who knows when they have tested them? So while I am happy to listen to and try out their "wisdom" once or twice, I also realize that common sense also must come into play when dealing with a group of kids, and I also rely on my instinct and life experience. I also know my particular group of kids. With mine, they escalate fast, so waiting and seeing would result in a big problem depending on the combination of who was doing the arguing...therefore I intervene more quickly. However, your kids might be different and you need to trust your instincts and life experience too. Not every theory will work for every group of kids.