How much do you intervene?

[KellyP]

Personally I allow the rough housing....there are ground rules though. The kid must be the same age and must be doing it in a friendly and fun manner. The second, it appears to be anything but playful fun, it is over. I also make sure the kids know BEFORE hand that if the other kid doesn't want to play or wants to stop playing, then you must stop immediately.

ALL rough housing is also done outside and NEVER in the house.

As far as the arguing goes I have three rules:
1. NO physical touching EVER.
2. Be respectful (no name calling, no belittling, or teasing)
3. If the person walks away, you can't follow. The argument is over.

I believe one of the biggest skills children miss out on now days is learning to manage social relationships, especially those in which you aren't fond of the other person or vice versa.
I think kids don't know how to hold their own and be able to mediate a situation in which the two people involved don't see eye to eye.

I have a hard time with schools and daycare centers pushing the "everyone is friends" mentality.
We aren't all friends and people don't all have to like each other. We DO have to be respectful and not physical but we don't have to be friends. I think that is such a dangerous thing to teach kids.

I let them argue but I never let it get to the point of bullying, teasing or outright mean behavior. I make sure ALL the kids are armed with the right to walk away, feel confident enough about themselves to disagree with others and to give and get respectful treatment to and from others even when they don't agree.