Thank you ladies.
Momof4 perphaps it is ok to sugarcoat a bit. It may save the argument.
playfelt, I have been doing just that. sometimes they will just put themselves on the couch. I don't stop them.

I dont think the mom realizes that I have more that just her kids during the day. Or it doesn't matter to her. Very frustrating.

I appreaciate the assurance.