At a loss with this newbie! Need suggestions... HELP!!!

[playfelt]

I have had kids that were only happy when in the playpen as it was secure and away from reality. I just started there and let them be in the playpen as long as they wanted bringing them out after an hour - most of the time they fell asleep when put in there - being woken up earlier to come to daycare than on the parent days is one of the complicating factors to consider whether child is simply overtired. When they came down I had everyone else in the kitchen having snack and put child in chair and gave them snack - usually they are so hungry by that point they eat something. Try to position the chair so they see only half the kids in care - gradual steps here. Don't get them down till everyone else is down and gone to the playroom and then move with them.

I also had another child that we did some after hours playtime with parent coming over with child in the evening and on the weekend to play in the playroom - mom didn't play with the child but talked to me while child was ignored - even if she grabbed mom's leg and cried. After a few visits child became better at playing on her own with my stuff. It actually helped child to be happier at my house now that it was familiar. Parent paid a fee during the playdates. I was desperate to keep the child because it was a time and area where getting daycare kids was very hard so I was afraid to let them go.

I like the method above of only responding and rewarding the positive behaviour in the child and ignoring the crying assuming it doesn't last forever.

[Fun&care]

She has to toughen up for sure, and although it sounds harsh, I would hold off a bit on holding her so much. With my 12 monthers I find if I hold them too much they actually get MORE clingy, but if I leave them to play, and ignore their cries, and then interact with them when they STOP crying, it's better. Similar to what above post wrote about rewarding positive behavior.