Do you think it is possible the parent was in denial about what a peanut allergy means and figured oh it was just a rash not a big deal. Then after the allergist appointment she got info drummed into her about peanut allergies and how the reaction can escalate and now she is fearful. My child with the allergy still had peanut butter in the home but precautions were taken and brother was scrubbed down before being allowed near his sister etc. I sent a notice to all parents asking them to do the same should they let their child have peanut butter for breakfast - most just said thanks for letting them know and they would keep it an evening/weekend thing and no problem.
My daycare as such is peanut free from a meal standpoint although my own family has it but again they know the required precautions which are not a big deal. Just explaining to our girls using your own issues and they will understand and while it will take time and they will forget every once in awhile they will master the use a plate, put knife in certain place, wash thoroughly etc. Since the child doesn't come in contact with your kitchen other than to sit at the table it shouldn't be a problem if it is ingestion only. The other thing is you take precautions using a special silicone mat to butter bread on just in case the counter had a peanut butter slice on it and then it isn't as big a deal if the girls forget.
Problem with comparing allergies is that I have had kids in care with egg or carrot or rice allergies and all that happened was they got an upset stomach and if too much threw up. That is not the same as breaking out in hives which have the potential if they happen in the mouth/throat area to make the area swell and cut off breathing - equivalent to anaphylactic shock symtoms. So the issue does have to be taken more serious because it is more serious than just not serving it to the child. And that is where you will need to decide if losing the family over serving pb and j sandwiches once a month is worth it or not.

































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