Feeling a bit bored?

[playfelt]

Socially I am finding it rough too because most of our friends have moved on and we haven't. All my own kids are older and out of the house except our youngest who is 20 years old but with special needs. What I find when we do go out as I am at a loss as to where I belong. I notice it with the events our church puts on. There are some events for retired people over 50 which is my age bracket and they go out to lunch or get together in an afternoon to craft for the Christmas bazaar but I am still working. They have mom and tot programs but too far away for me to go and for any similar playgroup there is a no one over 6 rule at most of them so Brianne can't come and her wheelchair would not be welcome anyways just as no strollers are allowed. The church has evening gatherings for the younger woman but it is people who talk about their corporate jobs and brag about their kids high school exploits. My problem is my only hope is a group for grandmas raising their grandchildren I think and that leaves me not really even fitting in with that group but at least I can identify with them just not with the family issues.

My point is I don't belong anywhere. I can discuss teething and diaper rash with the ladies the same age as my own kids, dream of retiring soon with others closing in on 55, dream of going someplace warm for several months of the year just because and knowing my reality is I will still be able to do all those things when I am 65 just because Brianne will always be like having a 15-18 month old in the house. Being military means I have a lot of associates but no real friends. The few I have are email or occasional chats and yearly visits and that is it. On the day to day I feel like I live in a bubble most of the time. If it wasn't for my workshops I do it would be even worse.

[Judy Trickett]

Ah now this describes me! I don't have younger children, my youngest is 15. I am not bored with daycare, love it, been doing childcare for over 20 years (if I include the 2 years I was a live out nanny and the one year I worked at a centre). I love working from home, not having to travel to work, being able to be my own boss, etc.

I know we all have our own opinions, this is just mine ... I'm frustrate with today's parenting trends, frustrated that I feel like I have to baby sit the parents, the children I have had in care for 2 years are horrible nappers so I'm also burnt out, I have only about 30 minutes where children are napping and to get that I have to spend an hour+ watching over them, few of my parents will help in the learning process, my children aren't taught self help routines at home, but the one thing I am so tired of is changing bums and parents not helping with potty training. I have 2 children that should have been trained almost a year ago, but excuse 'weekends are too busy'! But like I said this is just me, parenting 15+ years ago was so different than now, and I have had a hard time moving forward with the trends and I know I am burnt out.

I'm in Ontario so not having play dates has been a bit depressing and has added to my frustration. I miss the social interaction, the shared activities, the big parties for birthdays and special events. Throwing a birthday party with 5 kids instead of 15 isn't as fun.

But daycare frustrations aside, you hit the nail on the head with me. Because I work from home with the younger ones, my schedule is different than my friends so I don't get to the park the same time to have those stolen moments of social interaction for me, I don't have school runs. I attend field trips, but I am always so busy watching and helping my group enjoy the event that again I miss the stolen moments of adult time. I also find I'm in a hard age, most of the people I know who are my age have young children, so I find after work, I don't get the same social interaction because I spend my days with younger kids and in the evenings or weekends I don't want to. I don't get to take care of me! The only time I do, is those few times I can afford to do a photo shoot with a group of people, but then we are so busy taking pictures sometimes there is little time for socialization. Oh, I should add I'm the Mommy of a competitive dancer, who dances 6 days a week, being a single parent a lot, all the chauffeuring falls on my shoulders unless my oldest is kind to me. Right now, between chauffeuring and work, I'm on the go from 7 am to 7 pm, by the time I get 'home' I'm exhausted.

The main reason why I'm ready to close down daycare is because I want to find out who I am, I want to have some me time and take care of myself, get into photography, lose weight, etc I would in a heart beat if the budget allowed.

I would love to take just a few months off daycare, I know me, all it would take is 3 months and I would be ready to go back to work I'm just burned out and frustrated. Bored, is generally not in my vocabulary.

Yes, yes, and YES. I will admit to this too. Mostly your bolded parts.....I have been providing daycare for over a decade now. I did it because it really worked best for MY own kids. I always said I never, ever wanted MY kids in daycare. I just didn't. So, I started in daycare and I did what *had* to be done at the time to eat and still have my kids at home with me. Now my own kids are older and I have thought more, this last year than ever before about getting out there and doing something for ME. Something that I, ME, wants to do. I feel like my hubby has a career that he CHOSE (he has a doctorate degree so I say he CHOSE his profession because he got to invest time and money into doing what he wanted to do), my kids have interests that they CHOSE. But here I STILL am, 10 years later, doing something I did out of necessity because, as a momma, I believed that was what was best for MY KIDS. And, sure, that put me LAST but that's what good mommas do. I don't regret having provided daycare or have any resentment toward my family for doing this. But I am really started to feel that it is time for me to go out there in the world and find something for ME that I WANT to do.

I was actually talking to another provider recently about this. Not to sound corny but there is a Reba McEntire song called, Is There Life Out There, and it really sums up how I am feeling these days. I just want to go out and find something for ME.

I have put everyone, my hubby, my kids, my dcfamilies, hell, even my DOG ahead of me for so long. My hubby went to post-grad school back in 1996 and I worked so we could eat. So, in essence it has been 17 years that I have been LAST. It's time for me to be FIRST.

[Spixie33]

I hear all of you who are feeling bored.

I am finishing up my first group of dcks and on my 2nd. I have been doing this 3 years and there are times where I feel like I am dying of boredom.....kids bring me the same books for the 100th time. I have TONS of books but we have read them a lot in three years and there seem to be the favourites that all kids want to hear again and again. I sometime have to hide certain books in the basement bookshelf just to get a break from it.

Sometimes I am on my cell phone refreshing my email or forums a dozen times an hour because I am so bored and am desperately hoping for something new to read. Part of my issue is that my summer is lighter I guess and that has been driving me bonkers. During the school year I was doing 5 dcks and bus stop pickups/drop offs so the days were busy. Now I am down to 2-3 kids a day (because parents are on vacation or else are teacher kids) and extra time without school runs so I am B-O-R-E-D. It is better to be busy with 5 kids and stretched in several directions than idle.

Sometimes I feel like I am losing patience and enthusiasm and I look back at the pictures from my first 2 years and try to recapture it for the 2nd group but it all seems to take more effort to get the same enthusiasm/energy.

[Momof4]

Spixie, I hear you, my grandson was in my first group of daycare children and I have an entirely new group now. It took me a while to get going with the new group with the same enthusiasm and I'm sure that's how all of you feel when one of your own children goes off to JK. We tend to put the extra effort into our days when we have a loved one of our own in the daycare I suppose.

So after a few months of feeling bad about everything I made a plan and I'm still sticking with it. One craft a week with a learning day inside which means I'm moving slowly and letting the children free play a lot, that's my down day. The rest of the week if the weather co-operates we're out to play at parks and I've learned that the walking and being outside, even though I'm not doing much except supervising is good for me.

I too spend a lot of time checking into the forums first thing in the a.m. as the children arrive, while I eat my lunch and after afternoon snack while the children freeplay and we have pickups. It's great to have the virtual support systems in place as well as real friends to meet up with regularly.

But I read at naptime and I keep busy all evening so my days fly by. I said it before and I'll say it again. Don't be bored ladies, there's always something to do and ways to fill your days. Can't you get some housework done during the day while watching the children so that you don't have to do it after work?

[Judy Trickett]

I said it before and I'll say it again. Don't be bored ladies, there's always something to do and ways to fill your days. Can't you get some housework done during the day while watching the children so that you don't have to do it after work?

I think what the ladies are saying here is that it's MENTAL boredom. I am an intellectual type. And by that I am not saying those that are not intellectual types are less smart it's just a personality type. So, for me, being an intellectual type I need high amounts of mental stimulation and, well, kids just can't provide that.

There is no amount of laundry or cleaning that can make up for a deficit of mental stimulation.

[playfelt]

I'm with Judy. I can only rhyme off Very Hungry Caterpillar or Brown Bear Brown Bear while folding a tub of laundry so many days - yes favourite books are memerized. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star no matter how many ways you wave stars or use figures it is still the same song and year after year gets a little draining. Problem after awhile is that there is no such thing as a new song or new game as everything is just a variation of something you have already done.

Doesn't mean anything because we still smile and sing it again but we do heave a heavier sigh of relief when naptime comes or the little darlings go home for the night.

[Daycare123]

Yeah I REALLY want to clarify - cleaning my house is not going to help- it is neither social nor is it mentally stimulating in the least! I am an extrovert and find working a job where I often don't have the option of leaving the house a bit taxing. I enjoy working fro home - but working with young kids that aren't your own means you have to stick close to daycare for the most part.

[playfelt]

I actually knew a daycare provider that took shifts at a local restaurant on the weekends. Hubby was home to be with the kids and she loved the mental stimulation of remembering who ordered what and the fast pace of the environment and the amount of talking and people she met. Gave her extra spending money too.

[Judy Trickett]

Yeah I REALLY want to clarify - cleaning my house is not going to help- it is neither social nor is it mentally stimulating in the least! I am an extrovert and find working a job where I often don't have the option of leaving the house a bit taxing. I enjoy working fro home - but working with young kids that aren't your own means you have to stick close to daycare for the most part.

I think a lot of it is the endless dribble as well. I guess that would be the case in ANY job where there is no opportunity for advancement. I hear the same dribble from the dckids, the same dribble year after year from the parents. The same questions get asked, the same answers are offered. The same parental fears come up and the same fears are soothed.

The same phases are gone through with the same outcomes..........it 's like eventually I could write a timetable for every dcparent with exactly the month that their child will do this or that and when the parents will ask me about this or that. It's like I can forecast the next 4 years of theirs and their child's daycare and home life. B-O-R-I-N-G.

[torontokids]

Interesting this post resurfaced. I just signed up for an adult ed class to learn how ot sew. There were so many options of classes and I am looking forward to it.