I deal with many children with behavior issues. Kind of got known for that through word of mouth. Lucky me. With the children that have these behaviors there is not one time that I have not seen a passive parenting style at the cause of it. I see parents begging the child and saying please five times thinking that it will work better than the first time did. This is a child that is used to being in control of other people, and as child get's older the behaviors get worse.

I focus on teaching the child control over themselves only and encouragement when they have been successful. I speak in the same tone all the time no matter what I am saying or asking. I ask only once and then take firm but gentle action. A child of 1.5 years has an incredible memory. They remember that they are not supposed to touch it, but emotionally can't resist. I get down to the child's level and let them know it is a no touch zone. I ensure they have heard me. After that when the child goes back, I do not ask again, but remove them. I remove them to a cool down area. Once there the child is in control of when they come out. That takes a while to aid them in learning to read their own emotion, but once accomplished it works very well. Consistency is key. Lack of listening skills is not the problem I don't think. The acting out is a negative way of feeling in control which is an inviting feeling to a child that really isn't in control of much in their lives.

It is important to make it inconvenient for the child to misbehave to deter it.

On the flip side, I provide choices and create situations where choices can be made. I do not allow the child to choose if they are going to wear socks, but if they will be green or yellow for example. I say "Good job" when they choose whatever color. The choices are risk free of consequence or the ability to make a poor choice at first. I just want to get the idea of choices over themselves first. Then we move on to other choices that involve others and work with that. Diversion, praise, encouragement and fun is stressed.

Changing the way you do things is bound to make things worse before they get better. This child is using mom as a doorbell, and trying with you too. When we go to a door and press the bell, we press again if no one answers. We may knock and press again. Maybe they didn't hear the bell we sometimes think. He is pressing the button in many different ways as he has learned the most effective way of getting what he wants. When the reactions to that changes, he will press the bell harder as things are not going the way he is used to. With consistency, in a short time he will quit pressing the bell and start to enjoy the new control he feels, but over himself instead of others. This child will now be praised for the feeling of control he has and the control will be in a positive manner.