Making kids say sorry?

[Momof4]

My youngest dc child is 17 months right now and if she does something that makes one of her dcfriends cry then I ask her to look at her friend and I tell her what she did to hurt him and ask her to hug him to make him feel better. She doesn't have any words yet but I don't think a child is ever too young to teach empathy for others and that caring for one another is a very good thing. We don't hurt others! Can you tell that I'm having an issue with my youngest two dckids right now?

For the children who have language skills, yes I do ask them to say sorry to somebody if they have hurt them, look at their faces to see and understand that they are crying and very sad, then a hug. I've never had to force a child to do it. Once they look at the other child and really see that they are very sad they understand and they are learning about being nice.

No, I would not accept sorry, sorry from a child for doing something they know is wrong, that would be a timeout or other punishment, for some of the things the other ladies mentioned like throwing food on the floor.

[Momof4]

I agree! I am not such a please/thank you nazi. I mention it occasionally that the children should say please or thank you to me because I'm doing something really nice for them and I would like to hear it. Then they realized that it's special. It's like the "I love you". If they say it all the time you don't believe it, but if they say it once in a while spontaneously you know they mean it!

[cfred]

I'm a please and thank you nazi. But I try to make a game out of it. We're learning 'please' in different languages! My 18 mo boy recently went to Italy and came back saying grazie. OMG.....out of that little mouth, it's about the cutest thing I've ever heard! Now we're all doing it. Next week, Mandarin - xian xian (sounds like shen shen), then Spanish, French, German. Awesome New Guy taught me the Dutch word, but after 2 glasses of wine tonight, I've forgotten entirely. It makes it fun for me and the kids alike, and they really try so I figure, job well done! I've not sorted all the forms of 'thank you' as yet, but will.

[mimi]

cfred, thank you in Dutch is dank je or dank u (more formal).