Making kids say sorry?

[sunnydays]

Just like saying please. Just because you say please doesn't mean you get what you want. And yet we start early to teach kids to say please and thank you and they associate it with getting what they want. You want a drink, say please, You want the book say please. Child says cookie please and you say no. Child gets confused and stops saying please and then we get upset with them. I know we want to raise nice polite children but we have to be very careful about how we go about it and stop putting adult words and behaviours onto them. I still say please and thank you when it is appropriate but don't expect them to do it.

I do feel it's important to teach manners and respect, so I do teach them to say please and thank you. It may be confusing, but I feel the more quickly they begin to use these manners, the faster they will sort out the cultural intricacies involved. I have a 21 month old in my care who is one of the most polite children I know...always says please and spontaniously thanks his friends for giving him toys etc. His parents have taught him this and I reinforce it and I think it's great. They do find out that "please" does not guarantee a "yes", but no "please" guarantees that they won't get it. It's all part of socialization in my opinion. I don't think of them as rude if they don't say it...they are just learning still and require lots of reminders.