Making kids say sorry?

[cfred]

I don't make the kids say sorry. As mentioned before, they don't get the concept of sorry until they feel it. When someone bites or hits (especially bites), I will put on the drama - big open mouthed gasp followed by "Oh my GOODNESS!!! That is not how we treat our friends! We do not hit/bite, ever!". Then there is a time out, and I immediately turn my attention to the victim during the time out. Once that is done, I bring the victim to the time out area, release the child who did the hitting/biting and show them how their friend is sad, crying, what have you. I try to acknowledge the hitter/biter's feelings too, as often they are valid. Even as toddlers, they understand when someone is sad and this is an excellent time to start building empathy and a sense that hurting people just isn't okay. I'll even have them help dry their friend's tears, maybe give a hug. Then, during circle, we'll talk about feelings and make faces, stomp feet, etc to express the different feelings. At each incident, I keep promoting the use of the word 'NO!', which my 18 month and 2 yr olds are picking up very well. It's a nice alarm. When you hear "NO, NO, NO" it's a good alert to go and intervene before the biting/hitting occurs, thereby further instilling the effectiveness of using words instead of hurting in the mind of the child. It's not an overnight thing, but I've seen it working quite well!