I have been through the same with a former DC family. I caved and dealt with WAY too many accidents. A current family is working on toilet training their boy, after one weekend with no accidents he came with no pull up on. I informed dad that his son needs to be in a pull up until he is accident free and will go to the bathroom on his own. The boy will not go to the bathroom unless I direct him to go, and if I step back to let him take control he will just go in his pull up.

I have to put my foot down. I do not have the time to steam clean my carpet or couches everytime a child has an accident. When a child has an accident I can't have them in the same room it occurred until I clean it up properly, so there is 5 kids in the kitchen waiting to get back into the playroom.