Potty Training and Parents expectations for only wanting underwear regardless.

[momof4inpink]

I have a dcg just turned 2, parents just notified me that they are doing the 3 day potty training method, ie: new parents. I email them with my expectations that she needs to be accident free for 2 weeks before I will agree to have her only in underwear. They email back telling me that they understand and that they will keep her home longer as dcd is on holidays to hopefully secure dcg success in being accident free. They want her in underwear all the time even during naptime even in the even of accidents here I tried politely to explain that if dcg has several accident a day, and during naptime that I will have to give her pullups as I don't have the time to continually be on clean up duty. Im not sure that they are hearing me, or that they even get it?? I have never had success with potty training in 3 days, nor have no accidents after 2 weeks. I have raised 4 daughters and they all were trained differently. What are your daycare expectations for potty training and how many accidents per day do you allow before demanding parents to allow the use of pullups? Im wondering and a bit concerned that my dcg may be terminated or they may pull her if I don't comply. Are there daycare or dayhomes that allow continuing potty training accident daily? Advice please

[playfelt]

The key here is that she must be accident free AT DAYCARE - not just at home. Parents can do what they want but child will remain in a pullup till they have met the daycare criteria to go into underwear which is two weeks accident free. And a pullup at naptime till one month of accident free. One accident and the time starts again. This is my house and I am not interested in any child's pee all over my house.

If they are truly trained at home the switch at daycare will go quickly. And I might be inclined to take the risk earlier for the child if they were mature enough to always tell me in advance and not just me putting them on at intervals etc. - ie acted trained.

[Fun&care]

Sounds like these parents have very unrealistic expectations. Especially at her age. Once a child turns 3, then I understand that they would want to really get potty training under way, but at 2 do they really think she will train in 3 days? Obviously they are first time parents who just have no clue. You are simply going to have to stick to your rules no matter how insistent they are. They can do whatever they want at their house, but your daycare YOUR rules. You could try to offer that you can take her potty at certain points during the day etc., but at the end of the day it's not fair to you that they just put her in underwear and have her pee all over your house.

[apples and bananas]

I think sometimes parents have the assumption that it's "easier" for daycares to keep kids in pull ups as it takes time to take them to the bathroom and focus on potty training.

I am the same as you. It's my decision if they go into underwear or not. It's my home and my rules. It's not only a pain in the butt to clean up pee off of the floor/couch/play equipment. But it's also unsanitary.

However, I have had one child that showed up in underwear one morning unexpectedly. She had showed signs here, but wasn't consistent. Mom spent 5 days focused on it and decided to send her.

I visit the washroom with the kids at 9:15, 10am, 12pm, 2:30 and 4. It's just the way my day works out. So, she was fine. She did have a few accidents in weeks to come but they were mostly outside.

If the child had consistent accidents then I would have put her in a pull up. I have extras here at the house and quite honestly, although I know I shouldn't be buying them... it's the best investment. I write them off, I rarely use them and I buy the cheapy brand. I have them in case I have a parent who doesn't send one.

In the case of your parent I would tell her that she has to provide pull ups, but you'll try and see how she is. Some kids do train that fast. Who knows! First accident, throw on a pull up.

And a pull up for nap, absolutely! No questions there.

[playfelt]

What I find is that even when a child is fully trained at home that they take longer to get that way at daycare and it is more a mental adjustment than a physical one. The way I explain it to parents is that at home if they say "I have to pee" parent drops everything and goes with child to bathroom. At daycare if they say it they have to leave the toy they are playing with, leave the activity their friends are enjoying and I have to scramble to make it safe before I can take them to the potty such as putting baby in playpen or craft supplies up. They get so engrossed in play they wait too long - hence accident. They have to reach the stage where they want to be dry and in underwear.

I also found it was a control issue at daycare. If I was busy with another child the training child suddenly had to pee. And in underwear you can't take the chance they are lying so you drop everything and give them your attention in the bathroom. With a pullup I can still call their bluff.

[Judy Trickett]

. They want her in underwear all the time even during naptime even in the even of accidents here I tried politely to explain that if dcg has several accident a day, and during naptime that I will have to give her pullups as I don't have the time to continually be on clean up duty. Im not sure that they are hearing me, or that they even get it??

It doesn't matter what they want. It's your daycare - your rules. I don't ask Walmart to allow me to shop shirtless and shoeless as their policy is "no shirt, no shoes, no service". Daycare is NO different. If you want to shop somewhere you follow the rules. Period.

[Momof4]

That would not work at my daycare, my policy is 30 DAYCARE DAYS accident free, which is a long time and I've had children in pullups all the way to JK at naptime if they are still wetting the bed. I'm sooooo busy and parents have to realize I care for 5 children and they only have 1.

[monkeys]

I have been through the same with a former DC family. I caved and dealt with WAY too many accidents. A current family is working on toilet training their boy, after one weekend with no accidents he came with no pull up on. I informed dad that his son needs to be in a pull up until he is accident free and will go to the bathroom on his own. The boy will not go to the bathroom unless I direct him to go, and if I step back to let him take control he will just go in his pull up.

I have to put my foot down. I do not have the time to steam clean my carpet or couches everytime a child has an accident. When a child has an accident I can't have them in the same room it occurred until I clean it up properly, so there is 5 kids in the kitchen waiting to get back into the playroom.

[daycarewhisperer]

I would agree as long as they sign an agreement that they will pay for professional carpet, furniture, and equipment cleaning for each accident. Get quotes from a company that will do THAT DAY cleaning and have the parents pay a cleaning deposit so you have the funds to pay for the service every day. If they are certain she is accident free the money will stay untouched and you will return the deposit to them when she is 30 days accident free.

Time to put their MONEY on their expectations. Now they are only offering their words. They need to agree that they will fund professional cleaning and immediate replacement of any furniture or equipment that she damages.

So you say yes to their wishes as long as they are willing to pay for each and every accident she has. The cost of one professional cleaning will be the same as six months in pullups. It might be better for them to just risk pullup money instead of cleaning money. Your problem now is that they are not risking any money. Have them risk MONEY instead of saying words.

[Momof4]

Daycarewhisperer, are you an accountant? It's always about money with you. For me, it's about caring for all my children and keeping them healthy. I've had a space open for 5 months because I terminated a diarrhea boy who I'm sure had food allergies and the parents wouldn't work with me. It was more important to me to have the other children and myself in a healthier environment away from his constant contamation of our breathing space!