Would you term this child?

[jammiesandtea]

Some of the old methods although frowned on now worked wonders. Spanking the body part in offence such as the hands for touching, the mouth for biting, the leg/foot for kicking - we are talking spanking not smacking/abusing. What it does is draw attention to the child of what they did - they bit with the mouth, kicked with the leg/foot, touched something they were not allowed to with the hands. Actions speak louder than words was coined for a reason.

As to biting a child back yes again an old final straw medicine. Ouch to a child is a concept they don't always associate with what they are doing. When it hurts them they do a double take. Then when you say say no ouch or no touch they get what you are saying. Normally it only needs to happen once, twice at most or monthly at most not daily or weekly. Right or wrong it worked. I do get tired of the weeks/months of nonsense we put up with now in the interest of no corporal punishment. Don't care if it put the fear of whatever into the child, they never did it again and we could go on with life in peace - not sounding like a broken record, or pulling our hair out, or screaming for the craziness to stop - no need to terminate kids because they were taught to obey authority by the parents and transferred that onto the caregiver/teacher. Oh how I long for those days. We had time to learn and have fun and in reality I think kids were actually happier and less stressed. Just my opinion of course but then I am old enough to have lived the lifestyle not just read about it being torn to shreds by somebody's new ideal that has since proven not as effective.

I totally agree with playfelt's main points, particularly the ones I highlighted in bold.

As a caregiver, I've never used any type of corporal punishment, but I DO teach children to respect adults' authority and I run a tight ship because I am firm, consistent, and no-nonsense when it comes to behaviour. Raising children should not be a democracy. My role (and the parental role) is more than just providing care, daily needs, emotional support, etc. Our job is to TEACH children all that they need to learn in order to be decent, kind, empathetic, productive members of society. Those lessons can't start at 5 or 10 or 15 years of age. It starts from the beginning, or else you are way behind and some never catch up at all. (Those are the brats, bullies, and juvenile criminals we've all unfortunately met.)

Sorry for the mini rant ladies, but this topic is a hot one for me!

I WISH we could (as caregivers) bite a biter in return to show them immediately that it hurts and is not something they ever want to experience again or inflict on others. It WORKS. It teaches empathy in a way that toddlers can actually understand. I support any parent who employs it.

Edited to add: Just realized that in my mini-ranting haste, I forgot to answer the original question! lol

I would probably term, given that Dad isn't on board with discipline and prefers to be the kid's best friend rather than his father. I disagree with him on punishing/taking away evening privileges being too late to have an effect. At 2 years old that is true, but an intelligent 3.5 year old as you described him, would definitely remember in the evening why he is dealing with a consequence of bad behaviour earlier in the day.

But unless Dad has some sort of miraculous epiphany overnight, he isn't going to change and neither is the kid. Actually, the kid will just get worse as he learns more and more ways of pitting the caregiver or whoever dares to discipline him, against soft, weak Daddy who will always be his best friend and can't bear to punish his poor innocent baby (who bites and victimizes others).