Need some advice

[Misha]

So here is some background information. This family had to have their two daughters together. That was a must. They were going to start in 6 months. I then had some changes in the daycare and told the family I no longer had two spots, but one. So they pulled out. A few months had passed and they still hadn't found anyone. I felt bad and asked two of my moms who were on mat leave, if they wouldn't mind putting their kids in part-time, to free up one spot, for the summer. So I could accommodate both kids. So after 2 months, they tell me that they are taking one out, as she got a spot in a center. I never knew they were on a list. Which, they didn't have to tell me, but if we are going to work as a team, it would have been nice to have known. They also tell me this two weeks before I go on vacation. So now, I get screwed as I don't get paid my vacation and I've lost money, as two families have gone to part-time. Not to mention that the Dad totally busted my screen door by walking right into it, twice. He was wearing his sunglasses on a cloudy day and didn't see it. Never apologized or said he would fix it. I wasn't too happy. It still not fixed as we need to get it done professionally. She complains about a lot of stuff that I do, she says it in a very condescending way. The way she asks me questions, she doesn't seem to trust me, or that I'm a total idiot. I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I'm having a hard time. The latest thing was that I set up one of those inflatable 3 ft swimming pools for my own three kids to play in. We bought a four foot fence with poles and completely closed it off, from the little kids. She then says in a tone, "you don't put the little kids in that do you?". As if I'm a total moron. She then tells me that she doesn't like it and wants me to take it down, as the kids might get in it... If the kids can climb a 4 foot gate, get to the pool and get into a 3 foot pool without me noticing, I'm not doing my job. I don't jive with this family, like I do with the others, but I don't feel right terminating the contract because of that, but I don't want to be stressed every time the parents come, to justify everything I do. I'm hurt and annoyed that I went out of my way to help them and they keep treating me like this. I'm just waiting for them to tell me, that they are taking the other one out. I have a feeling it's just a matter of time. I just don't know what I should do. I live in a small community, where people talk. They would be the type, (if they haven't done it already), to totally bad mouth me and ruin my rep. So should I keep them on?, or do I look for someone else and when I do, give them their notice?

[Judy Trickett]

If it were me I would cut them loose. Life is too short to get up every morning and deal with condescending, rude people.

[apples and bananas]

You can terminate for this reason. It's a very good reason to terminate care.

"unfortunately, I feel that our parenting styles are different and I am not the best fit for your children. For this reason I am terminating care"

I have had clients like that, it's stressful. Send them on their way!

Make sure you are paid first!

Its the glory of running our own business... I terminate you because I want to!

Good luck.

[Crayola kiddies]

Ummmm....... NEXT

[Momof4]

First, hand the bill for the fixed screen door to the Dad, good grief, how rude and obnoxious is he? Then when that's paid hand them the termination notice. In my contract it states verbal or physical abuse in my home is grounds for immediate termination.

Either that or start DEMANDING RESPECT! Have a talk with that dcMom and tell her that YOU did her a huge favour and so did your clients to make room for her child but you don't feel like being accomodating any longer to someone who can say condescending things to you. Stand up tall, be confident, pull up your big girl panties and remember that this is YOUR BUSINESS and you run it the way you see fit. I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job. But YOU need to realize it!

[playfelt]

Agree that termination would be in the best interest of all but where does that leave you with the other pt families in terms of returning and needing the second space. I might hold out and take the risk of keeping the second child till one of the moms is returning and then give notice.

Assuming you will have the one space to fill now so I would do that before releasing the second child or you will be down two kids and lose even more income. Should it come that you have a chance to take two children then opt to release the second child to accept the two new ones if it comes to that as in don't lose out in favour of the mom who has already screwed you over.

Before doing anything I would sit down with paper and pen and chart out who you have in care now, who you will have come Jan, when will families now on mat leave return to care meaning if they share they need the spaces. Can you hold them, will you need to let another current family go to accommodate siblings, which families do you really want in care and which ones not so much. Once you have done that you will see where this family fits in if they still do.

Not sure of the ages of the kids but most daycare centres accept kids at 18 months and siblings get priority so bear that in mind in that she could just be biding her time with you anyways. Again plug that potential switch into your chart above.

I have two moms going on mat leave (one Jan and one Mar/April) and just did my charting last night to figure out what to hold, split, change, etc. and if it will actually work. The Jan mom wants me to keep her older child potentially for JK year too because she is tiny (was premature) but realize she is sending her to a French school so thinking they should go to a French provider instead of returning or at least that is the argument I am going to use if I end up without the needed spaces. This business is so fickle for sure. This all hinges on whether another child goes to the daycare his brother will leave - ie he would get brother's space when brother moves to JK or if he stays with me. My guess right now is he will stay based on some things the parents have said (older brother has food/behaviour/medical issues and they felt services in a centre was better option but child I have turns 2 soon and is still here so hoping he stays).

[jammiesandtea]

These people need to be shown the door. As Judy said, life is too short to have to wake up every morning and deal with rude, condescending people.

First, bill the Dad for the door he broke. When it gets paid, hand them their termination papers.

Be professional, but firm. In your small community, they may bad-mouth you if they are that childish and "entitled", but I am sure your other families and people who know you will counter back with true characterizations of you which will outweigh anything petty that these people might say.

[Misha]

Thank you very much. It's what I needed to hear. Thanks for taking the time to write. Much appreciated. I love this forum. People who "get it"! Lol

[Judy Trickett]

Ummmm....... NEXT

Hey, where'd you get that line from?

Glad it's catching on because, well, it's oh, so useful - and TRUE!

[Crayola kiddies]

Why you of course Judy ..... I love that line and it so often sums everything up in one neat little word