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  1. #11
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    TwinsPlusOne, your story made me cry for your little child. How horrible. Best of luck, lean on all the doctors, sounds like you need a lawyer, check into it all. We can sympathize and tell you that you have been wronged, but you need the professionals to help you now.
    Frederick Douglass
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

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  3. #12
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    I can't understand how a parent would allow a 5 year old to make a decision on being transgendered? My 5 year old doesn’t even know that word.

    Most 5 year olds know the difference between boys and girls and the rest is simply innocence on just being a 5 year old.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/0...n_3488306.html

    after reading this article I somewhat understand better and I'm sorry that your child has been treated poorly. I would do everything to protect my child from this crazy hateful world. I wish you all the best!
    Last edited by Skysue; 08-27-2013 at 09:11 PM.

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  5. #13
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    To answer the original question: Be very sure that you are pursuing legal action for the right reasons. Your child will always come up against controversy and the fact you have found a good placement means you can move on. Think twice whether rehashing the past is worth it or not. Much of what went on will be known only to children which will not be considered credible witnesses and in fact anything your own child has to say will be taken with mitigated belief so it may all be for naught anyways.

    I am beginning to think that some of this is more about you and your acceptance than it is for your child. It is as if you want to make a point/spectacle to prove to yourself that everything is ok. If you were truly invested in your child's happiness you would have used the pay from those days you took off to remove the ONE child from that placement and put them where they would have been happier - that you could have afforded. Life will be hard for both of you but do not make this fight about you.

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  7. #14
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    I am going to have to agree with Playfelt and Judy here, sad to say. Look, I don't agree at all with what is happening to your son. I think it is horrible that he is being made to feel that way everyday at a place that is supposed to care for him. That being said, I cannot condone YOUR part in continuing to send him knowingly to that environment every day. Subsidy would have no part in my decision and the money argument you are making does not ring true to me for the following reasons.

    #1) Did you not have to take off work to meet with specialists/professionals to get your diagnosis in the first place? Most specialists I know do not have hours outside business hours. If you have the availability to take off work to get your son a diagnosis, wouldn't you take off work to guarantee his emotional safety while securing a new care situation?

    #2) As a mother, I could not ever be okay with knowingly leaving my child in an abusive situation. No matter what the reason. In a legal battle, a judge or lawyer is likely going to ask why you continued to bring your child to a care situation once you knew it was harmful to him. Your answer did not ring true me, and I doubt it will ring true to them.

    #3) A legal battle is EXPENSIVE. If missing three days of work (which is all you have left in your last week at this center) is unthinkable to you, then how will you afford a lawyer that will likely cost thousands of dollars and a case that could take months?

    Sorry, that's my take on it. I don't agree at all with what is happening to your son, and I am sorry that situation is happening to you. But I cannot at all condone you continuing to bring him knowingly to a care situation that brings him harm.

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  9. #15
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    I agree with reporting the daycare to the human rights tribunal because its your right as a Canadian citizen to file a complaint for violation of human rights. I don't think you'll get very far in pursing legal action for any sort of monetary compensation though. The judge will see that you kept your child in that environment knowing full well his human rights were being violated and likely throw out your case.

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  11. #16
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    As with any child with special needs, a teacher can not be expected to know everything about every issue. How much information did you obtain from your medical support team and share with the teachers/director of the centre etc or did you just assume too many things.

    The other thing that is not ringing true for this story is the "information" that your child shared with everyone. So traumatized by daily events they couldn't tell you anything when you asked how was your day today honey and just act out instead but then later for medical appointment could recite days times, who said what, etc. Something isn't working for me with your story, sorry.

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  13. #17
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    Two things. Well, three.

    OP, I'm sorry that your son is facing such difficult mental health issues at such a young age.

    It's transgender, not transgendered. The trans community is pretty adamant on this. Not picking, just making sure you're using the correct terminology.

    Third thing - have health care professionals informed you that your son is suffering from trauma from his treatment at the daycare, or could it be a culmination of his body issues, reconciling things in his head etc? I am not saying this is the case, just wondering if you've been for sure looking at the correct source of his trauma.

    Also, Skysue. You're AWESOME for informing yourself about something of which you were uncertain. Kudos to you!

    Good luck with everything OP. You sound like you're taking all the correct steps to get your child the help that he needs. That's amazing.

  14. #18
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    Yep, I'm going with Playfelt and LadyBug. Honestly, I feel for your child IF he really is going through something of his OWN making. But I also can not condone your choice in leaving your child in an environment you admit to knowing was harmful to him. You can make all the excuses you want - the fact is YOU knowingly left your child in the care of someone who treated him badly.

    Good luck with a legal battle. Just to get to court will take about five years and a nice legal bill of around $100,000. And then you can look at around $5000 per DAY for every day you are in court. Going to court costs A LOT of money, not just in legal/lawyer fees but fees for experts, reports, etc. That daycare has insurance and insurance companies are very good at keeping their money. Insurance companies can, and DO, hire good lawyers in an effort to NOT have to lose in legal battles. Because losing sets a precedent and precedents cost insurance companies money. A daycare would pretty much have to have killed or seriously physically maimed a child (for life) in order for them to even think about settling given what you have admitted to doing - sending your child in an attempt to save money.

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  16. #19
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    I want to further add that this thread spurns me. This is another classic example how the daycare is always the one found at fault. What about the parents and the role they play?

    I am NOT saying the daycare didn't act negligently. I have NO idea what the daycare did or did not do as I have not had the opportunity to hear their side of things. But I HAVE read/heard the parent's side and the parent admits to knowingly and willingly continuing to send her child to an environment that was harmful to him. Where is the PARENTAL responsibility in this? Why is it always JUST the daycare's fault?

    Time and time again I see parents or media reports about "bad" daycare but when you look into it further there is almost always a parent who KNEW of or was aware there were problems but continued to send their child.

    It's time parents started taking responsibility too. And it's high time society started to hold them accountable.

    You say the daycare wasn't acting in your child's best interest. Well, NEITHER WERE YOU! How could you possibly expect a daycare to love and care for your child more than you? This is YOUR child, not the daycare's child. YOU should be putting his needs and quality of life first, above and beyond ANYONE else.
    Last edited by Judy Trickett; 08-28-2013 at 09:16 AM.

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  18. #20
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    No money in the world we keep me from sending my child anywhere that is a threat to there well being. Most parents with children with special needs make huge sacrifices for the greater good of there child.

    Home schooling is the choice I would make!

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