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  1. #21
    Starting to feel at home... jammiesandtea's Avatar
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    I am of the same mind as Judy, playfelt, mimi, and ladyjbug. If the treatment of your son was so abusive, bullying, and "against the human rights code", how can you possibly stand there and justify your CHOICE to send him there for ONE MORE MINUTE after finding out???

    I don't want to hear subsidy or money. Don't even use those kinds of words in the same sentence when compared to the love and sense of protection you should have for your son as his mother.

    I'm also unclear as to you and your husband's work situation. You mention in your 2nd post, clarifying your child's issues, that you "quit your "real" job a year and a half ago to care for my dying mom". Does that mean you are still currently not in the workforce and are caring for your mom? If so, couldn't other family members help out there so that you could have stayed with your son rather than send him to an abusive daycare, or couldn't he have come with you?? (not an ideal situation but better than a daycare who is supposedly causing him mental trauma?)

    Regardless of whether you are currently working or providing care for your mom, you have not given a valid reason to ever justify choosing convenience or money over the well-being of your son, whether for a few weeks, a day, or an hour.

    I sincerely wish for health and happiness for your child.

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  3. #22
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    Don't you wish now they would have just told you NO! NO we will not call your daughter a name other than the name she was enrolled under. NO they would not tell the daycare kids to call her a boy or use male pronouns when referring to her. NO they will not train or even share this with the staff.

    NO

    This would have ended the enrollment immediately right?

    There comes a time when a child care business can be special needed right out of business. It would have been better for the business to tell you NO from minute one and told you that they will not even meet with you again regarding this than face the consequences of what has happened since. All the accusations and emergency mental health crisises would have been on someone else's clock if they would have told you in no uncertain terms that they would not... could not... and will not consider what you believe your daughter needs.

    Take the civil rights repercussions. That will be years away before anything is settled and it will give TIME to save to defend and TIME to test the law. Be more afraid of a suing mother for what you won't do rather than what you did do.
    Last edited by daycarewhisperer; 08-28-2013 at 01:42 PM.
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  4. #23
    Euphoric !
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    Early Childhood has rules that apply to everyone. I don't care if you call your child moe or buttercup or appledumpling at home. At school he or she will be called by the name on their birth certificate or a childlike version if requested ie Sammy for Samuel or Billy for William. If a name change has already been picked then as the parent you are free to get the birth certificate legally changed and then your child will be called the name on the certificate - end of problem. It is not the school's requirement to change their policy to accommodate you - it is your responsibility to get the birth certificate changed to the name you desire your child to be called to meet the enrolment policy.

    Similar arguments for most of your other concerns but I think you get the point.

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  6. #24
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    I cannot fathom leaving a child in a situation where they are treated as you say. So you would owe money.. so what? Take him out anyway and fight the fees.

    You won't get anywhere suing this daycare. You're better off to focus your energies on your child.

  7. #25
    Quote Originally Posted by playfelt View Post
    To answer the original question: Be very sure that you are pursuing legal action for the right reasons. Your child will always come up against controversy and the fact you have found a good placement means you can move on. Think twice whether rehashing the past is worth it or not. Much of what went on will be known only to children which will not be considered credible witnesses and in fact anything your own child has to say will be taken with mitigated belief so it may all be for naught anyways.

    I am beginning to think that some of this is more about you and your acceptance than it is for your child. It is as if you want to make a point/spectacle to prove to yourself that everything is ok. If you were truly invested in your child's happiness you would have used the pay from those days you took off to remove the ONE child from that placement and put them where they would have been happier - that you could have afforded. Life will be hard for both of you but do not make this fight about you.
    I only get $200 a month from my parents for spending 10 hour days 5 days a week. It's all they can afford. On my husbands income we cover bills, rent, food ect... We are lucky as my moms doctor fought for us to get full subsidy. We don't pay anything for our daycare. I could not afford it otherwise, and if my mom was in a old age home she would die in a week as she needs 24h care to make sure she doesn't asperate. Unfortunately I do not have extra money lying around and couldn't pull him out. I'm just lad he has only 2 days left.

  8. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by ladyjbug View Post
    I am going to have to agree with Playfelt and Judy here, sad to say. Look, I don't agree at all with what is happening to your son. I think it is horrible that he is being made to feel that way everyday at a place that is supposed to care for him. That being said, I cannot condone YOUR part in continuing to send him knowingly to that environment every day. Subsidy would have no part in my decision and the money argument you are making does not ring true to me for the following reasons.

    #1) Did you not have to take off work to meet with specialists/professionals to get your diagnosis in the first place? Most specialists I know do not have hours outside business hours. If you have the availability to take off work to get your son a diagnosis, wouldn't you take off work to guarantee his emotional safety while securing a new care situation?

    #2) As a mother, I could not ever be okay with knowingly leaving my child in an abusive situation. No matter what the reason. In a legal battle, a judge or lawyer is likely going to ask why you continued to bring your child to a care situation once you knew it was harmful to him. Your answer did not ring true me, and I doubt it will ring true to them.

    #3) A legal battle is EXPENSIVE. If missing three days of work (which is all you have left in your last week at this center) is unthinkable to you, then how will you afford a lawyer that will likely cost thousands of dollars and a case that could take months?

    Sorry, that's my take on it. I don't agree at all with what is happening to your son, and I am sorry that situation is happening to you. But I cannot at all condone you continuing to bring him knowingly to a care situation that brings him harm.
    Please see my last response.
    Legal action will be with human rights tribunal where I will not have to pay to take action

  9. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by jammiesandtea View Post
    I am of the same mind as Judy, playfelt, mimi, and ladyjbug. If the treatment of your son was so abusive, bullying, and "against the human rights code", how can you possibly stand there and justify your CHOICE to send him there for ONE MORE MINUTE after finding out???

    I don't want to hear subsidy or money. Don't even use those kinds of words in the same sentence when compared to the love and sense of protection you should have for your son as his mother.

    I'm also unclear as to you and your husband's work situation. You mention in your 2nd post, clarifying your child's issues, that you "quit your "real" job a year and a half ago to care for my dying mom". Does that mean you are still currently not in the workforce and are caring for your mom? If so, couldn't other family members help out there so that you could have stayed with your son rather than send him to an abusive daycare, or couldn't he have come with you?? (not an ideal situation but better than a daycare who is supposedly causing him mental trauma?)

    Regardless of whether you are currently working or providing care for your mom, you have not given a valid reason to ever justify choosing convenience or money over the well-being of your son, whether for a few weeks, a day, or an hour.

    I sincerely wish for health and happiness for your child.
    No one else can help out with my mom. I'm an only child and have no other family.
    Money is an issue. I could not afford having this daycare charge me. I could not afford them to go after me.

    I spoke with both the head teacher and owner mulipul times. I offered them free training through gender spectrum in sanfran... They offer free training and education to ANYONE who works with kids.
    I took time off from taking care of my mom to go to apps for my child. It ment days my dad could not look for work, or take short term jobs (he is 67 and in IT, so finding work is hard at his age), and my mothers care costs well over a thousand a month and my father can only help me out a bit financially.

    I'm sorry none of you have ever been faced with the idea of a daycare taking you to collections for pulling out your child. For me that's a scary thing as we are barely keeping our heads afloat and had litterly no way to pay that out of pocket.

    And taking care of my mom is a job. I may be only paid pennies per hour but its a job none the less. It is work, and even though I'm family and not paid much it is a job... Just like how you run a daycare you don't "babysit"......

  10. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by playfelt View Post
    Early Childhood has rules that apply to everyone. I don't care if you call your child moe or buttercup or appledumpling at home. At school he or she will be called by the name on their birth certificate or a childlike version if requested ie Sammy for Samuel or Billy for William. If a name change has already been picked then as the parent you are free to get the birth certificate legally changed and then your child will be called the name on the certificate - end of problem. It is not the school's requirement to change their policy to accommodate you - it is your responsibility to get the birth certificate changed to the name you desire your child to be called to meet the enrolment policy.

    Similar arguments for most of your other concerns but I think you get the point.
    Did you know on Canada what you just stated is ILLEGAL!
    When a person is trans you have to accept and call them the gender they know they are not the birth gender... I pray to god you never have to deal with a trans person in your care

  11. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by playfelt View Post
    Early Childhood has rules that apply to everyone. I don't care if you call your child moe or buttercup or appledumpling at home. At school he or she will be called by the name on their birth certificate or a childlike version if requested ie Sammy for Samuel or Billy for William. If a name change has already been picked then as the parent you are free to get the birth certificate legally changed and then your child will be called the name on the certificate - end of problem. It is not the school's requirement to change their policy to accommodate you - it is your responsibility to get the birth certificate changed to the name you desire your child to be called to meet the enrolment policy.

    Similar arguments for most of your other concerns but I think you get the point.
    Please look at what you have to follow in Ottawa... You can't discriminate against a trans child.
    http://www.ohrc.on.ca/en/policy-disc...ity/8-services

  12. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by SLD View Post
    I cannot fathom leaving a child in a situation where they are treated as you say. So you would owe money.. so what? Take him out anyway and fight the fees.

    You won't get anywhere suing this daycare. You're better off to focus your energies on your child.
    I'm not going to sue, I'm taking them to the human rights tribunal. Difference is it does not cost me money. But hopefully I can protect another child from going through what my child has gone through and teach providers across Canada that its wrong, something a lot of you on this site just don't get

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