Anyone take legal action on daycare?

[ladyjbug]

I'm still not really buying your story, sorry. It still comes down to money for you in all of your arguments, and you are putting the cost of daycare over the well being of your child. Any human rights tribunal and any judge worth their salt will still ask you why you continued to place your child knowingly into a situation that causes them harm. Once you were made aware of the situation, you are also doing something very wrong and you are also harming your child by continuing to bring them. I don't think the providers on here are misunderstanding this at all.

Why did you not put in notice at the daycare? The only way I can see a daycare trying to sue for collections would be if you did not follow the contract and tried to leave without paying. When I terminate contracts or parents terminate contracts, we need to give each other two weeks paid notice. I offer care during that time barring I am not ending the contract for extreme disrespect or threats, but lots of parents make the CHOICE to not send their child during that time. You have the same CHOICE as a consumer. You have the ability to choose a different daycare/kindergarten - you did that. You have the CHOICE to follow your contract and still protect your kid by not sending them while paying the notice period. You didn't make that choice. I DON'T GET THAT!

If you work at your mom's home in an informal setting, I don't understand why you couldn't set up a five year old in a different room with books and activities and a few movies so you could be near them for a few days and not have to worry about what is happening in the daycare situation. Yet, you still continue to send your kid, and then have the nerve to call us uninformed because we called you out on that decision.

I also have a 67 year old father and very involved grandfather in my kids' lives who works when he can get work. If one of his grandchildren was treated like this, he would never object to taking the kids for a few days so they wouldn't have to go back to a situation that causes them harm. He would be up in arms about it, actually. Well-being of children trumps money every time. Of course I would never make him make that choice, because as a mother, I could NEVER ever put my kid knowingly back into a situation that would cause them harm. Not for a minute. Not for a second. Even if I would be living on the street, I'd choose that over willingly sending them back to a harmful situation. Where is your husband in all of this? I am really concerned because it seems that no one else is upset about this human rights atrocity. If it is that bad, wouldn't others be stepping in? Wouldn't they want this child safe? The fact that NO ONE is stepping in, or is as upset as you are, or is totally cool with this kid finishing the week up in a daycare that you are planning to take a case to the human rights tribunal is messed up to me!

Your cause is noble. It is good that you don't want anyone else to go through what your child has gone through. But if you keep sending your child and make them endure this struggle everyday while you are trying to save a dime, it makes all your good efforts go out the window. You are also teaching your child that everyone else's struggle is more important than fighting their struggle, right here, right now at this moment. Your kid is right in front of you. Do right by them! Fight THEIR battle! Make them feel safe and heard RIGHT NOW and take them out of a situation you don't feel is right, and don't make them go back! Anything you have to say to a human rights tribunal will hold no water if you continue to let your kid suffer as you have stated they are suffering in this situation. That's not on the daycare. You are knowingly doing this to them, putting them in this situation day after day, and blaming money being the reason. Sorry, that's on you, and I don't think any of us are uninformed or "just not getting it" for saying that's just not right.

[jammiesandtea]

I fully agree with ladyjbug, and quite frankly, your whole story, if true or partly true, smacks of a mother who is more interested in garnering attention for herself than in making her child's well-being her number one priority.

You've had numerous other options, though they clearly just didn't appeal to you or weren't convenient, but you could and should have sacrificed something else in order to keep your child away from the supposed mental trauma that this daycare was inflicting on them.

My nose is smelling a bunch of crap here. If the story is true at all, then as I said above, it smacks of a woman who puts getting attention, sympathy and drama for herself well above the well-being of her child.

I'm certainly not speaking for anyone else, but I AM saying what I know a lot of others are thinking.

[Judy Trickett]

I fully agree with ladyjbug, and quite frankly, your whole story, if true or partly true, smacks of a mother who is more interested in garnering attention for herself than in making her child's well-being her number one priority.

You've had numerous other options, though they clearly just didn't appeal to you or weren't convenient, but you could and should have sacrificed something else in order to keep your child away from the supposed mental trauma that this daycare was inflicting on them.

My nose is smelling a bunch of crap here. If the story is true at all, then as I said above, it smacks of a woman who puts getting attention, sympathy and drama for herself well above the well-being of her child.

I'm certainly not speaking for anyone else, but I AM saying what I know a lot of others are thinking.

Oh, come on, Jammies.....didn't you read her last few posts? She has answers for everything. EVERYTHING!

I guess we are all just wrong. We couldn't possibly see through the crap being mothers and daycare providers - you know, having been on BOTH sides of the spectrum. We know nothing. She knows everything.

[daycarewhisperer]

No one else can help out with my mom. I'm an only child and have no other family.
Money is an issue. I could not afford having this daycare charge me. I could not afford them to go after me.

I spoke with both the head teacher and owner mulipul times. I offered them free training through gender spectrum in sanfran... They offer free training and education to ANYONE who works with kids.
I took time off from taking care of my mom to go to apps for my child. It ment days my dad could not look for work, or take short term jobs (he is 67 and in IT, so finding work is hard at his age), and my mothers care costs well over a thousand a month and my father can only help me out a bit financially.

I'm sorry none of you have ever been faced with the idea of a daycare taking you to collections for pulling out your child. For me that's a scary thing as we are barely keeping our heads afloat and had litterly no way to pay that out of pocket.

And taking care of my mom is a job. I may be only paid pennies per hour but its a job none the less. It is work, and even though I'm family and not paid much it is a job... Just like how you run a daycare you don't "babysit"......

So the taxpayers of Canada pay 2100 dollars a month for your kids child care so you can get 200 a month in payment for your moms care that would cost a thousand dollars a month if you didn't do it?

Why do they pay for your child care and accept that you are getting a dollar an hour? Aren't there wage laws in Canada? Seems they would be 900 bucks ahead if they paid the grand a month for your mom's care and had you stay home with your kids. That way your daughter could be called a boy name and be referred to with male personal pronouns all day every day.

[playfelt]

It is also law in Canada - heck most places in the world, that you can't just pick a name out of the air and expect legal entities to use that name for driver's licence, SIN card, credit card, etc. unless you go to the trouble and expense of making it your legal name. NOT my job to change the rules. YOUR job to change the birth certificate of your child according to their wishes.

[Momof4]

Whether we believe you or not, we cannot help you. If I had this much sadness going on in my life I would not be on a forum stirring up more drama in my life. I would be concentrating on setting up a support system with my family, good friends, doctors, lawyer or legal aid professional, psychiatrist, etc. If you are in Canada you have access to doctors and medical health professionals who are on OHIP or the equivalent in your province. Start concentrating your efforts on healing your family and moving onward and upward.

[daycarewhisperer]

I don't have a problem have a girl child wear boys clothing and play boy games and say they feel like they are a boy. What I have a problem with is FORCING a child care to endorse it by calling a child a different name and referring to a girl as a boy. I can't even imagine telling a class of three to five year olds that because this girl child FEELS she is a boy then we all have to call her a boy.

When the child enrolls the parents are required to fill out forms that give the legal name and a physical that states whether the child is a boy or girl. Why is the child care required to ignore these? The child IS a girl. Until a legal name change has been offered the name is the name.

I worked on a Psyche unit years ago and had many mentally ill patients who believed they were Jesus. They would have preferred we call them Jesus and The Lord and obey them but we didn't. They weren't Jesus. They weren't in a position to force staff to mind them. They were in a locked facility receiving treatment that included addressing their delusional thinking.

Where does it cross the line into supporting something that just isn't true. FORCING society to call a girl a boy and making bathroom accommodations so she can join the boys is going way too far.

Expecting that the staff is trained to understand she wants to be a boy and wants to be called a boys name is one thing. Forcing them to play along as if she is and train the staff and PRESCHOOLER kids that she is is redoinkulous.

[bright sparks]

So what you are saying Daycarewhisperer is that all people who feel they have gender misidentity are delusional? You are comparing this to someone with a severe mental health issue such as personality disorder or schizophrenia which is like apples and oranges. Not the same. Gender Identity disorder is not just a psychological disorder but a biological, genetic issue also, so to compare a mental health patient who is delusional thinking they are Jesus with someone who has both the psychological factors and biological make up to back up the misidentity is just pure ignorance. You said yourself that you worked in Mental health years ago. Theories and treatment have evolved since then and what was then, is now outdated and ineffective. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and while they are definitely okay to voice on this forum I have to speak up when someone such as yourself who claims to be so knowledgable in all things childcare related, makes such an awful comment inplying that this child is infact mentally ill and needs treating as though there is actually something wrong with them that needs to be cured or fixed. Perhaps offering advice versus criticism and strong negative comments would be more productive in helping this woman.

The law states (and I paraphrase in a big way) that a child should be allowed to have whatever gender they identify with to be how they are treated or addressed. It's irrelevant at this stage the legalities of SIN numbers, credit cards or drivers licenses. For goodness sake this is a child. Those legalities need to be addressed as they get older but are not a reason to not respect the wishes of the child and their families wishes right now regardless on your stance on the subject. Racism isn't tolerated so prejudism of any kind shouldn't either. So what, you don't agree what their gender identity is, who cares, this is about them, not you. Yes it is a difficult subject to discuss with such young children but its because it is a taboo subject and society has labeled it as strange and different and it's easier to ignore it and hope it goes away, than to take a deep breath and find the courage to make change. Maybe if it was talked about more often it would mean a less ignorant future generation who would be more accepting of differences. You don't like it? Well you don't have to, but show them respect like everyone else. Would it kill you to be a little supportive instead of so objective for a change.

This started out as a post about taking legal action on a touchy subject. I believe there is info missing and like anything written in a post, sometimes vital pieces of information are overlooked or left out due to the OP feeling overwhelmed and emotional. I think whoever suggested leaving the forum, I think Momof4, and putting all their efforts into finding resources that will help her and her child is the best route to go. I think sueing is a lost course but it doesn't mean by any means this parent should be quiet. I believe that the child is the priority here regardless of anybodies belief in GID, but also this parent needs support and help to be able to offer the best support and guidance for the child. I know the truth can be hard to hear and can be harsh, I've been there, but to interject some compassion into people's advice would also be productive. Also giving advice to someone on a subject that most have no first hand experience with based on their own ideologies and sometimes sheer ignorance is not helpful to anyone. It just causes more stress and conflict. Just my two cents, by all means, fire your attacks back at me

[mimi]

Bright Sparks, you hit the nail on the head IMO. Well done. The comparison of a transgender person to a delusional person made me gasp.

[jazmic]

I know the truth can be hard to hear and can be harsh, I've been there, but to interject some compassion into people's advice would also be productive. Also giving advice to someone on a subject that most have no first hand experience with based on their own ideologies and sometimes sheer ignorance is not helpful to anyone. It just causes more stress and conflict.

Indeed. Well said.