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  1. #1

    Anyone take legal action on daycare?

    We have had a lot of issues with my kids daycare/preschool. We have this last week left otherwise I would have pulled my 3 out sooner (couldn't due to subsidy)

    This daycare is not following the human rights code for my child after talking to the head teacher and owner of the facility. The head teacher is religious and putting her belief structure of my family.

    My child has been picked on by the kids AND by at least 2 teachers.

    My child ended up at the children's hospital 2x this month for mental health issues (a 5 year old should not be depressed and self abusing due to teacher and kids at daycare picking on them), we have had to pull our kid out the max days I can without being charged for what subsidy covers.

    We have thankfully gotten our child in to a good mental health program to help heal from this horrible time.
    I have had to go pt this month to take care of my kid on the days pulled out,and have quit as of September as we are scared to put our kids in a after school care program.

    Our mental health team wants us to take the daycare to the human rights tribunal, as we had to pull out of an amazing choice school to go to a closer community school.

    Anyone had to deal with a bad daycare?

  2. #2
    Expansive... Judy Trickett's Avatar
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    Well, one would think that it wouldn't matter what the subsidy situation is etc, if it were THAT bad at that daycare then you would have pulled your kids out immediately once all of this came to your attention the first time. Kids trump money - every time.

    So, with that said, I have to ask why you would allow your kids to stay in an environment that is such a threat to their well-being.

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  4. #3
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    To answer your question, I do not know anyone who has done this, and if someone has, every situation is different.

    I hope your son is on his way to being healthy and does not have any lingering effects from this bad experience.

    However, on first notice that things were not right ie abuse, I would have pulled my child immediately and called the authorities. I just could not knowingly leave my child in an abusive situation.

  5. #4
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    If you are on subsidy, does the organization that supplies that not also license the facilities? That is where I would start.

  6. #5
    My child recently came out as transgendered. I also quit my real" job a year and a half to take care of my dying mom. Unfortunately I do not have the $700x 3 kids to just pull them out and pay out of picket with no care. 1 income for 5 people leaves us with a break even budget if there are no surprises...

    Right now for the last 4 weeks the head teacher has forced using birth name and female pronouns. Telling him that he will be a freek and has to use hs full birth name. I have cried every day I have had to send him. He gets teased by the kids and daycare does nothing.
    Apparently telling the kids that my child goes by he and him now and a male name is "detrimental" to the other kids at daycare.

    It hurts when you find out your kid hits his head on the wall because of an adult you trusted... I looked over all options with the social worker from the hospital and unless I could pay out of pocket I was stuck....

    My child does have a dx of gender dismophic disorder. And the Canadian human rights covers the fact that he has the right to be called he, hs, and his male chosen name and to use the male washroom. We saw sighns of ths at 3.5 but at almost 5 it came full blown out...
    I'm just glad my child's kindergarten is open, caring, and following the human rights code

    I just want to make sure this does not happen to another child. The person who owns the daycare facility owns 4-5 more.
    Last edited by TwinsPlusOne; 08-27-2013 at 05:16 PM.

  7. #6
    When pulling my kid out would mean eviction because I can't pay rent, no food for my family, and no gas to get my husband to work, unfortunately I had to send. Please see my response and don't be s quick to judge

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    I've never been in the situation, but it sounds like you'd be we'll within your rights. Especially if your team of experts is advising the same.

    If you have any contracts from the daycare it might be a good idea to look them over with a lawyer. Not that anything in a contract would excuse mental abuse of a child, but if the daycare was religious-themed, you may run into the issue of people questioning why he'd be enrolled there if it went against the daycares faith (if it were faith centered). But again, I'm not saying its excusable in any way.

    Hope everything works out for you and your kids!

  9. #8
    Thanks. It's a non religious daycare. East Indian owners, head teacher is Asian and catholic...
    It's just been one hell of a month... And to think this head teacher was almost like a friend. Her son plays with mine. I would bring Starbucks and other treats often... Blah! What hurts is my child didn't tell me what was going on, I found out during his assessment. The doctor let me know. My child wanted so much to be accepted by the teachers and friends that he held it inside.

  10. #9
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    Not to belittle what happened to your child but it is for sure totally wrong. At the same time the kids in this age bracket are just learning to deal with reality/fantasy and sometimes the teacher will draw the line on the fantasy play when it crosses the line - ie just because you are a boy dressed as a princess today does not mean you get to undress in the girls change room because it is something the other girls are not yet ready to understand. What was not done was to give your child a place to do what made him happy while not making others unhappy and uncomfortable either. I still think the daycare acted inappropriately but at the same time be careful about expecting them to put adult feelings and beliefs onto all the children. Not really sure what the law is here when it involves children. I get that as an adult I am expected to compromise but as a parent I would be upset about a boy in the change room or bathroom at the same time as my daughter who is still in the learning that it is not ok for boys and girls to do certain things together and learning modesty and to appreciate her own body - she is not ready to appreciate a boys body in the room in the same vein. You don't say how long your child was in the daycare. As soon as his desires became known and the teachers made it clear that they were not able to accommodate the situation given the set up of the room/attitudes of other parents etc. I find it hard to believe that the medical team looking after your child could not come up with an alternative. In most provinces there are also home daycares that can accept subsidy children. As well most areas have a transgendered support group and there may very well have been someone in that group able to care for your son temporarily for the same fee as you were paying while you looked for something different. NO matter what the "laws" say, sometimes the accommodations available just are not what you would like to have. For sure the teachers were afraid and needed more training and support from the mental health unit and not just from you as the mother asking for special treatment. My responsibility is to all of the children and while I would do my best to explain the situation I know many would have a hard time since there is so much separation between boys and girls in school.

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  12. #10
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    I'm so sorry you have had such a negative experience. It make my stomach hurt that your son would have to go threw so much. He will get through it. I'm so glad to hear that you have a great team to help you out. I've never personally dealt with gender dimorphic 'disorder' but have worked in the mental health field with children for years before starting a daycare.

    Go after the facility. I think that certain 'teachers' should absolutely be help responsible for what they have put your son through. Do whatever needs to be done to raise awareness.

    DO NOT give up on care for your children. There will be others around that are sensitive to your situation and will embrace your son for whoever he wants to be. There are great daycares and bad daycares whether licensed or not. This is a terrible situation.

    Good luck

    move to Toronto! He would be highly embraced and there are great schools and support for people in your situation

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