Ugh, sounds like an unfortunate situation all the way around. Sorry to hear this.

Typically, I've found that it takes a few weeks to transition a new child into the setting. It's a pretty big upheaval for the little guys. However, I've not had to deal with much aggression...a little, but nothing terribly substantial. Did she qualify what she considers to be 'aggressive'? If it's akin to a child snatching toys away from others or trying to establish himself at the peak of the hierarchy (yep, kids have them), then that's something that I would consider manageable. Meltdowns happen, but I know there are meltdowns and MELTDOWNS. If the child is just having his freak out on his own and being nothing more than a disturbance, I think that can also be dealt with.

On the other side of the coin, if the child's meltdowns include behaviour that is hazardous to himself, his peers or his provider, it may be necessary to terminate for the benefit of the group. One thing that happens a lot (and understandably) is that people usually don't see the situation beyond their part in it. It's normal. But she must consider everyone, including herself. If the child is affecting the whole group in a negative manner, or they're in harms way, other parents will pull their children out, thereby dramatically impacting her business. And perhaps, (I don't know details of course), but maybe she's not been in the biz quite as long? I've been at it 20 yrs and have raised my own three, so meltdowns don't faze me at all....my 'tune out' skills are solid! I can see where frequent meltdowns could be enough to curl the hair of someone a bit younger or less experienced, thereby making it difficult to to their job effectively.

I can see both sides. However, there's not much information to go on, so I'm looking at it with a whole lot of 'what ifs'. Have you asked her, specifically, what the behaviours are? With me, it's all in how things are brought to the table. I have one little guy right now who is driving me crazy....but the parents are remarkable and trying so hard to work with me. That makes all the difference.