Lou- that was very well said!
When a parent feels attacked I step in and 'moderate' the discussion, it is neither productive nor helpful to spend energy trying to poke holes in a parents story or attack them making them feel incompetent.
I, personally, see that everyone has a different parenting style and that is fine. What is not fine, is when parents or daycare providers believe that their way is the only way. By chastising parents it makes an 'us' vs. 'them' attitude much worse. We work better when we work together.
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