Moderating the forum

[mamaof4]

If you feel the discussion can remain respectful- I can reinstate the post, I am not the only mod the admin mods as well.

A lot of what I do in terms of stepping in is when I am alerted to a post via a member. If you didn't feel there it was disrespectful - others may have- each of us have our own thresholds.

[mamaof4]

As a mod I did not have the rights to ban Darasmommy initially- I had to wait for those. Once I got them, I used them.

I am open to criticism. I am human- if the criticism is constructive bring it on. If it is just for the sake of being mean then no.

The reason I deleted the post is in all of the forums I participate in and moderate- 'goodbye forum' posts are not permitted. If a member wants to sign of privately or message people on her own- by all means- but those type of posts are, as a rule, not allowed.

[jammiesandtea]

Not surprisingly, I wholeheartedly agree with notaunicorn, mimi, and ladyjbug, and I will simply add a strong "ME TOO" and "WHAT SHE SAID" to their posts, because to be honest with you I am so disgusted and angry about the nazi-ish censoring of our posts that I will wait to comment further until I am able to do so while still remaining "respectful".

[Skysue]

Why was it removed in the 1st place? She never said anything abusive, rude or disrespectful? All posts were clean? I have also noticed people's threads get moved to the back burner after one day of posting? I think that specific MOD's are not being unbiased and as a professional provider I'm truly feeling this Site to be very controlled.

As well tons of members have posted farewell threads and not one has been removed?

I don't know where Judy has gone but If someone would like to pm me I would like to follow suit!

[ladyjbug]

As a mod I did not have the rights to ban Darasmommy initially- I had to wait for those. Once I got them, I used them.

I am open to criticism. I am human- if the criticism is constructive bring it on. If it is just for the sake of being mean then no.

The reason I deleted the post is in all of the forums I participate in and moderate- 'goodbye forum' posts are not permitted. If a member wants to sign of privately or message people on her own- by all means- but those type of posts are, as a rule, not allowed.

I don't understand your reasoning here. Why not delete all of darasmommy's posts as soon as she made them, since you DO have that power ? I am sure you were contacted numerous times about her and alerted to the many inflammatory posts she wrote.

Also, I checked the rules up top and there is no mention of a "goodbye" post not being allowed. Judy was not breaking any rules unless you have created unspoken rules that we are supposed to guess at. I have noticed that others have made posts in the past that they were thinking of leaving (lately I think it was dodgedriver11 because she was upset about the treatment of darasmommy) and that was not removed. So why this one in particular? I am still not convinced that something different happened other than that you saw a post that featured you in an unfavorable light, and removed it.

Anyway, please reinstate the original thread. I'd really like you to address the many questions I asked on there. You STILL have not answered why you treat providers and parents differently on this forum, even though I have mentioned it here and on the previous post and I think it is the main part of the problem. Please tell me why. Thank you.

[mamaof4]

I merged the two threads so everything could be grouped together, I am totally in favor of productive discussion. I take offense to the Nazi comment- I lost a huge amount of family to the Nazi regime. Please, unless someone is slaughtering people based on religion refrain from that comparison.

[mamaof4]

in terms of deleting darasmommy's posts, I do not sit at the computer all day and wait for new threads, I have 5 of my own kids to care for, I get on the forum a few times a day, but I am not perfect, I miss things.

[apples and bananas]

Congratulation Judy... What has happened here was most likely your intent.

A long drawn out goodbye, throwing the monitors of the forum under the bus and subsequently throwing this thread into a complete left turn.

If you are not happy with the way the sight is monitored, find another sight.

I too saw some of the comments discussed and I too feel that the parent was attacked. I didn't have time to continue to look at the thread as I have a daycare to run and a family to attend to after hours. I agree that there aren't enough parents on this sight... this isn't stricty a daycare provider forum. And I too agree that the parent was completely ganged up on. She asked for advise and instead was completely judged.

The monitor of the sight is just that.. the monitor. And it is within his or her rights to monitor this sight as he/she sees fit. I support that... otherwise I would move on to something else.

It's happened to me as well... I asked for a craft idea and was told by several providers that I shouldn't bother and that I was being taken advantage of. If I wanted to know if I was being taking advantage of I would have asked, but nope... I just wanted a craft idea.

So... to get back to the original reason for this post... goodbye Judy... I'm sure you will continue to stir up the pot on many other sights. Congratulations on your last attempt.. it was successful.

[treeholm]

I understand that the intent of using the word Nazi may have been to indicate strong disapproval, but that word is abhorrent to many of us. To compare the actions of a forum moderator using her power at her own discretion to the actions of an evil regime that caused the death of millions of innocent victims is in very, very poor taste. I will choose to assume that this was said out of ignorance, not malice.

[Artsand crafts]

I just want to say I am glad this threat was reinstated. I felt offended that it got deleted and for a moment felt transported to the place I had to live in for several years where freedom of speech was a luxury.

I also have felt attacked sometimes, too but I try to keep an open mind and think about it, maybe the person that is trying to help us (and not in the way we like) could have something valuable to say or maybe no, but how would we know if we always keep a narrow mind.

I was completely out of my element when I started in this business and I wish somebody had told me then not to let people take advantage of me and in top of that take their time to explain me why. If that had happened I wouldn't have to learn so the hard way.

Getting comments from seasoned providers feels sometimes like getting free daycare provider consulting services. Questions about how long would it take to transition a kid to a daycare could be easily googled and it would show an approximated number and maybe a little explanation. The parent here got much more than that. She got a customized analysis of why her child could be having a hard time in a daycare setting so she could start working on it. She may not have liked what she was told, but she could very well think about it and use some of that information for her child's sake since what she has been doing is not working and in the meantime some other parents reading that threat could help their kids, too.