Well, having been in the business for 20 years, I'd hardly refer to myself as a newbie. Rose coloured glasses? Perhaps. Personally, I don't believe there's a situation that can't be sorted out with some intensive work and effort. These are young children....very young in many cases, and as is the case with the 2 year old being discussed. I do not believe for one second that the situation cannot be salvaged. This is based on my experiences as a head teacher in 3 classrooms in formal daycare settings, work as a resource teacher, nanny, 12 years running my own home daycare and my education. What may differ, however, is the willingness to put in varying degrees of work from different providers. Me...I'm a down with the ship type of person. I'll work at it until it's sorted out. And so far, even my most difficult children have always come along. It is completely doable, but sometimes requires more effort than many are willing to put in. To immediately say that the child will never fit in is inaccurate and short sighted. Every client coming into my home is told that their child will be afforded the luxury of transitioning in at whatever rate they require....EVERY child. I currently have one little guy who won't sleep or eat. The eating part (after much grief) has begun eating on his own and is adapting well. His sleeping sucks....really sucks! And sure, I miss my breaks like you wouldn't believe. However, when I discuss this with his mom, I see the look of panic on her face. She's even texted me asking if I'm ok and do I need to back out. The answer is no. She is a wonderful client and he is a wonderful boy. Yep, lots of work to be done. It's stressful and difficult and more than I'd like to do. But speaking as a professional, that's my job. That's what I get paid for. Not everyone wants to approach daycare this way; fair enough. But it cannot be said with any authority or accuracy that the situation is not rectifiable. That simply isn't true. It only isn't rectifiable if no one is willing to do the work to rectify it. The fact is that he is a toddler. Toddlers want to, by nature, make the adults in their lives happy. The trick is to bond with the child in such a way that they respect you, love you and trust you. Once this is established, there are many, many teaching opportunities that will arise during which the child can be taught how to get along in a way that really gets through to him. And this certainly doesn't make his mother an inept parent. Just like us, kids have different personalities, needs.