Moderating the forum

[jammiesandtea]

I fully agree with all of your points, Judy. I know many others agree as well.

I feel the same as you do, though I wish you weren't leaving, because I strongly feel that this forum needs your input and your candid, unvarnished viewpoint to counteract the rainbow/lollipop brigade that rules the roost here. The world needs not only the pollyanna hand-holders, but the ones who can call a spade a spade with some tough "love", as well.

The truth is, I am actually a very positive, encouraging, glass-half-full, attitude-of-gratitude kinda chick in my "real" life (most of the time, haha)... but not to the degree that I can or want to live in denial or refuse to deal with reality. That's my issue with the rainbow/lollipop brigade. I'm not just inherently negative or bitter without cause. I've been in the business of teaching and raising other people's children for many years, so as Dr. Phil so eloquently puts it: "This 'aint my first rodeo."

So, two things, regarding the topics that regularly get my goat in this business (and on these boards):

One: Daycare parents, most or many of them, either from the beginning or eventually, will disrespect, screw over, make things very difficult, and in general be simply unappreciative of the job we do, in caring for and teaching their children during the most formative years of their lives (during which we as daycare providers have them for the majority of their waking hours). If you're a provider and haven't yet experienced this as being true with most or many of your daycare parents (eventually), then A) you're doing an OUTSTANDING job at screening them before accepting them to care, and you must live in an area where filling spots is like shooting fish in a barrel (not that I condone shooting fish in a barrel, lol), or you don't desperately need the income and can afford to hold out for such rare Golden parents and kids... or B) you're very new to this business and when we ask you again down the road a bit, you'll nod your head in agreement to this part of my post.

Two: I see a lot of posts here about there being "many different styles of parenting" and how all of them are right and none of us should judge any methods (or lack thereof) because every parent has their own style and "what works for them". Except that usually, if we're discussing their parenting style here on a forum because they've asked for help, it means that their parenting "style" ISN'T WORKING. Their kid "isn't socialized", or is "aggressive", or maybe throws "dramatic meltdowns" when they don't get their own way (to quote some recently used buzzwords from this forum). Those are irrefutable signs that your "parenting style" needs a re-think.

The un-sugar-coated fact is, not all parenting styles are "OK". The permissive, indulgent child raising philosophies that have become popular in recent years, are turning out a bunch of spoiled-brat, entitled, unsuccessful-at-life human beings who never move out of their parents' basement or end up in jail. And the "attachment parented" kids are NOT in any way, shape, or form prepared for the realities of group care, and it's so incredibly selfish and short-sighted of parents to choose this philosophy/method and then subject their child and the child's daycare provider to the HELL that ensues when an AP kid is then put into a group care situation that is by virtue of its definition, completely unable to meet the needs and expectations that this child has been conditioned and trained to demand.

So, no, not all parenting styles are A-OK, and requiring people to refrain from trying to educate and help someone who has chosen an untenable method and is asking for advice on the result of that choice... or else we are labeled "disrespectful". .. well, that is nonsensical.

"Disrespectful" (on a forum) is calling someone derogatory names, cursing at them, etc. Disagreeing with them, pointing out the inconsistencies or believability in their story, or calling attention to their child rearing methods that are having undesired consequences and recommending alternate methods based on experience, is not disrespectful.

With all due respect.




This board will be less fortunate to be without your contributions, Judy, but luckily, I do know where to find you!