Moderating the forum

[mamaof4]

You may notice I removed a thread that was getting contentious and was in general attention seeking and disrespectful.

I do not like to call out individual users so I keep it to a general be kind.

There is a distinct difference between sugar-coating and being kind. You can be be supportive and helpful without making a parent feel humiliated and defensive.

That is where my issue lies. Part of it is there are many more daycare providers on this site than parents so it is very easy for a parent to feel ganged upon.

Some users were pretty unkind and unhelpful, telling a parent that she had not done her job to socialize her child and that he had spent 2 years being the biggest fish in the pond. The parent only asked how long daycare providers give kids to settle in. Some providers instead of answering her questions attacked her and made her feel poorly. That is not okay.

[notaunicorn]

so you are a mod who decides when a discussion is being disrespectful and gets to lock it or delete it. Who are the other mods? are there any or are you the only one?

Reason I am asking is because we all love a good DISCUSSION, seeing others viewpoints and at no time did I sense any disrespect in that thread. Differences of opinions yes, some high and mighties, yes.

If you are the only mod on here maybe it is time we take a vote and see if we want to continue with you as our mod or if we should have others? It is a democratic society is it not?

Put it to a vote and put your money where your mouth is, before we lose any more members that are done with your dictatorship of deciding when a post is bashing and furthermore deleting someones goodbye message seems a little unmod like to me, more like jealousy or hatred since you may not have the same respect and following. Sorry for the run on sentence, fell free to delete for bad grammar

[mimi]

I am angry that the moderator has removed Judy's post and subsequent posts. I feel an important discussion has just been stymied in the name of politeness. I would like to see how others feel about what Judy has said. In essence, she (we) have been gagged. This is disgusting. No one was being abusive, they were just being honest.

Judy, expressed her opinion in a mature manner, so basically does the moderator have to like us in order for us to be able to see our posts continue into a discussion? I hope this gets read before it gets removed.
I don't suffer fools well, and this was a foolish move.

[mamaof4]

As a mod I did not have the rights to ban Darasmommy initially- I had to wait for those. Once I got them, I used them.

I am open to criticism. I am human- if the criticism is constructive bring it on. If it is just for the sake of being mean then no.

The reason I deleted the post is in all of the forums I participate in and moderate- 'goodbye forum' posts are not permitted. If a member wants to sign of privately or message people on her own- by all means- but those type of posts are, as a rule, not allowed.

[Skysue]

Why was it removed in the 1st place? She never said anything abusive, rude or disrespectful? All posts were clean? I have also noticed people's threads get moved to the back burner after one day of posting? I think that specific MOD's are not being unbiased and as a professional provider I'm truly feeling this Site to be very controlled.

As well tons of members have posted farewell threads and not one has been removed?

I don't know where Judy has gone but If someone would like to pm me I would like to follow suit!

[ladyjbug]

As a mod I did not have the rights to ban Darasmommy initially- I had to wait for those. Once I got them, I used them.

I am open to criticism. I am human- if the criticism is constructive bring it on. If it is just for the sake of being mean then no.

The reason I deleted the post is in all of the forums I participate in and moderate- 'goodbye forum' posts are not permitted. If a member wants to sign of privately or message people on her own- by all means- but those type of posts are, as a rule, not allowed.

I don't understand your reasoning here. Why not delete all of darasmommy's posts as soon as she made them, since you DO have that power ? I am sure you were contacted numerous times about her and alerted to the many inflammatory posts she wrote.

Also, I checked the rules up top and there is no mention of a "goodbye" post not being allowed. Judy was not breaking any rules unless you have created unspoken rules that we are supposed to guess at. I have noticed that others have made posts in the past that they were thinking of leaving (lately I think it was dodgedriver11 because she was upset about the treatment of darasmommy) and that was not removed. So why this one in particular? I am still not convinced that something different happened other than that you saw a post that featured you in an unfavorable light, and removed it.

Anyway, please reinstate the original thread. I'd really like you to address the many questions I asked on there. You STILL have not answered why you treat providers and parents differently on this forum, even though I have mentioned it here and on the previous post and I think it is the main part of the problem. Please tell me why. Thank you.

[ladyjbug]

I think you missed the point of the original post. However your reaction to the post proved the point perfectly. You could answered the post honestly and shown respect to the forum members who raised lots of good points, without censoring the ideas of others on this forum to make your own point. Instead you deleted any mention of dissatisfaction with your ability as a moderator here and did a separate post instead.

Being fed up enough to leave and tell you why is not attention seeking. Maybe if she was hoping to be talked into staying, I would consider that attention seeking. But Judy left this forum and didn't look back. However, deleting posts that criticize you and feeling the need to start your own posts to make your point and save face IS attention seeking behavior, in my personal opinion. People should get a chance to see both sides and form their own opinions, and you deleted that option. Why would you do that? Why not let both sides be shown and let the chips fall where they may?

You still have not addressed why you treat providers differently and parents differently on this forum, which I think is the main part of the problem. It can't be just that they are outnumbered. Darasmommy was just one voice and she did tons of damage here to many nice providers while you allowed her to abuse us, and just told us to "be kind" and use our ignore button. Just wondering why the same modicum of respect is not granted to us. I look forward to your comments. I hope this comment is not deleted. However, if it is, you will only be proving our point further.

[mamaof4]

If you feel the discussion can remain respectful- I can reinstate the post, I am not the only mod the admin mods as well.

A lot of what I do in terms of stepping in is when I am alerted to a post via a member. If you didn't feel there it was disrespectful - others may have- each of us have our own thresholds.

[jammiesandtea]

Not surprisingly, I wholeheartedly agree with notaunicorn, mimi, and ladyjbug, and I will simply add a strong "ME TOO" and "WHAT SHE SAID" to their posts, because to be honest with you I am so disgusted and angry about the nazi-ish censoring of our posts that I will wait to comment further until I am able to do so while still remaining "respectful".