For sure no question should be asked without a full disclosure of the circumstances because that is how this all started in the first place. Once the parent "clarified" a few points it put a whole different light on the situation. This has happened over and over as someone asks what should I do and then in response they get upset and THEN give more info to clarify which of course if they had shared first they would have gotten more useful replies right from the beginning.

For sure there are regional differences that come across such as what is the norm in a big city like Toronto or Vancouver would just not fly in a rural town in Manitoba or PEI so we need to be aware of that. If we have never lived in other parts of the country it can be hard to identify with the poster without letting our current circumstances cloud our judgement. I have done daycare in three provinces and 5 cities and they were all vastly different.

Along with that I know that people don't want to identify where they live but where it says location in the info under your name (left hand column) where you post is it too much to ask you to put your province? That would for sure help us answer a question asked as provincial rules vary. No sense getting a dozen responses that won't apply.

I know we bring ourselves as adults when we reply to posts but sometimes we have to look at things from the perspective of all the children and there are reasons why some children are better taken care of in a different environment. As an adult I see things differently than my daycare children do so when I teach them I have to see things from their way of thinking and while they are accepting it is also best not to confuse them as they are just learning what things mean - what it means to be a girl baby and a boy baby. All ladies are moms, sometimes all animals with four legs are cows if big and dogs if small. Sometimes we correct them and sometimes we let them work it out for themselves but there is a time and place to mess up their thinking/reasoning by letting them know that what they thought isn't true. Just like math for example we don't talk about negative numbers to toddlers when we teach them to count and often don't even use zero since it isn't anything tangible for them to touch so we leave it out till their thinking matures a bit more.

I think we all need to be more honest with ourselves and admit that when push comes to shove so to speak we just might not react with the same ideals we let on would. Saying we would work with any child to integrate them is a lie based on the number of people that have posted they have terminated kids who cried too much, came too sporadically, didn't follow our expected protocol etc. That is why there is no set program for home daycare and why as independent caregivers we are pushing so hard to keep it that way. There is a home for every child and I admit mine is not always it. I think too often sometimes we give replies that are really about confirming to ourselves that we are doing it right. No one is perfect but there will always be that feeling that if you are doing something different that one of us is right and one of us is wrong and well it can't be me that is wrong so it must be you. Different is not right or wrong it is just different and just as kids are different so are providers.