Moderating the forum

[daycarewhisperer]

I reinstated the post I deleted. I stand by my decision that it was unhelpful to the parent so I will delete it again shortly.

This thread is turning into a finger pointing mess. We are adults. We are intelligent. We have different opinions. This is great- but be kind.

Tone is really hard to read on the web through simple text so double check you posts to see if you could say what you wanted to say more kindly.

THANK you.

Now my post is back on page one.

[ladyjbug]

Well, shit. Fair enough. I'm out too. Apparently I'm losing my edge and I apologize for the accusation. I think I need a good long break from forums. Sorry for the trouble, everyone.

[daycarewhisperer]

Well, shit. Fair enough. I'm out too. Apparently I'm losing my edge and I apologize for the accusation. I think I need a good long break from forums. Sorry for the trouble, everyone.

Apologies accepted. :-)

[mimi]

So glad THAT is cleared up. I think we all have learned a lesson from this Have a nice weekend everyone

[jammiesandtea]

Well, shit. Fair enough. I'm out too. Apparently I'm losing my edge and I apologize for the accusation. I think I need a good long break from forums. Sorry for the trouble, everyone.

We ALL make mistakes, none of us can say we don't. I've made one (or more, in some people's view on this very thread as well.

But ladyjbug, your other points and contributions and questions on this thread are still all very valid and your input is valuable on this forum.

[Play and Learn]

See you later ladies. This is freaking stupid. I was one of the first providers to join this forum, and truly enjoyed giving my expertise to others who were just starting up, and learning from others who were in the field for many, many years.

Like some others stated: it WAS a good forum to post. The feed-back was 'nice', and constructive.

Then some people became all high and mighty thinking they are the "KING SHIT" in home daycare. That their responses are the only right ones.

Parents came on, and well, we know...

Well, after being gone for awhile to care for my wee lass, I come back to this shit?! No thanks. I'm done!

[mamaof4]

Ladies, I would hate to see any of you leave. You are all valued members and I have learned a great deal from all of you. Do we all need to be patient and understanding, yes. Myself included.

I would love to hear from you suggestions on how to prevent this stuff. I am all ears (or eyes as the case maybe)

[playfelt]

For sure no question should be asked without a full disclosure of the circumstances because that is how this all started in the first place. Once the parent "clarified" a few points it put a whole different light on the situation. This has happened over and over as someone asks what should I do and then in response they get upset and THEN give more info to clarify which of course if they had shared first they would have gotten more useful replies right from the beginning.

For sure there are regional differences that come across such as what is the norm in a big city like Toronto or Vancouver would just not fly in a rural town in Manitoba or PEI so we need to be aware of that. If we have never lived in other parts of the country it can be hard to identify with the poster without letting our current circumstances cloud our judgement. I have done daycare in three provinces and 5 cities and they were all vastly different.

Along with that I know that people don't want to identify where they live but where it says location in the info under your name (left hand column) where you post is it too much to ask you to put your province? That would for sure help us answer a question asked as provincial rules vary. No sense getting a dozen responses that won't apply.

I know we bring ourselves as adults when we reply to posts but sometimes we have to look at things from the perspective of all the children and there are reasons why some children are better taken care of in a different environment. As an adult I see things differently than my daycare children do so when I teach them I have to see things from their way of thinking and while they are accepting it is also best not to confuse them as they are just learning what things mean - what it means to be a girl baby and a boy baby. All ladies are moms, sometimes all animals with four legs are cows if big and dogs if small. Sometimes we correct them and sometimes we let them work it out for themselves but there is a time and place to mess up their thinking/reasoning by letting them know that what they thought isn't true. Just like math for example we don't talk about negative numbers to toddlers when we teach them to count and often don't even use zero since it isn't anything tangible for them to touch so we leave it out till their thinking matures a bit more.

I think we all need to be more honest with ourselves and admit that when push comes to shove so to speak we just might not react with the same ideals we let on would. Saying we would work with any child to integrate them is a lie based on the number of people that have posted they have terminated kids who cried too much, came too sporadically, didn't follow our expected protocol etc. That is why there is no set program for home daycare and why as independent caregivers we are pushing so hard to keep it that way. There is a home for every child and I admit mine is not always it. I think too often sometimes we give replies that are really about confirming to ourselves that we are doing it right. No one is perfect but there will always be that feeling that if you are doing something different that one of us is right and one of us is wrong and well it can't be me that is wrong so it must be you. Different is not right or wrong it is just different and just as kids are different so are providers.

[momofnerds]

please close this thread, its useless now and waaaaay of topic.

[jammiesandtea]

please close this thread, its useless now and waaaaay of topic.

I have to disagree with you on that, momofnerds. It's very much ON the topic of our differences and how to manage them, as well as some of the specific issues or "cases" that we've been struggling with. I feel that if anybody still has points they wish to make, or elements of their previous statements that they wish to clarify, most of us here still wish to hear/read them, and for those who don't, just skip this thread and please let's stop closing or removing threads if people still have anything reasonably sane and non-abusive to contribute.