Should I take this personally or chalk it up to being 3?

[torontokids]

My 3.5 DCB has been complaining a lot about being at daycare. A lot of the complaints are around nap time (doesn't have this expectation at home), food (he is very picky and parents accommodate this, I do not), there not being enough kids (only my 2 girls today) and no boys in the daycare (I have 2 girls and my dck are him plus 2 other dcg babies).

Although I have been trying not to, I am starting to take it personally. He has fun all day, we were out at the park all morning. His complaints are generally around nap time but he will also say things like "I miss my mom and dad" which is big for him (he only started daycare in Feb for the first time and he had never been away from his parents.) I said to him today that it's OK to miss mom and dad but they are at work and they are happy knowing he is having so much fun. His response "I'm not having fun, I don't like daycare."

Have you ever just had a child that complains like this? I want to be clear that he didn't always complain but being away from mom and dad has always been hard.

I have told him he doesn't have to nap but he has to stay quietly in his cot and today he was determined not to nap. He was out within 5 mins.

[Bookworm]

I wouldn't take it personally, although I know it is hard not to. I think he is just be expressing his dis-satisfaction at not being in control. You mentioned he complains about the food and naps, both of which he is in control of at home. He is probably feeling really comfortable with you now, which is why he didn't complain before when he first started.
As for the not having boys to play with... unfortunately for him, he is out of luck. You can't control the gender of your clients (well you can to some extent, but if you only have girls during interviews, then you can't be too picky), and he will just have to learn to play with them or by himself.
Is this the same boy whose mother made the comments about him being the only boy?

[torontokids]

Wow, you really pay attention bookworm! Heh heh, yeah it seems the "only boy" comment from mom started the whole thing and he mentions it once in a while but I just ignore it mostly as I don't really think it's his issue. talking about it seemed to fuel the fire.

[Other Mummy]

I would take it personally as well. Even though what Bookworm said is 100% True. I'm sensitive like that though

[jammiesandtea]

I agree with Bookworm. Children who have a lot of control at home and rule the roost there, are often ticked off and complain when they are not the ones in control at daycare, school, etc.

I wouldn't take it personally, because it sounds like you are running an excellent daycare and providing him and the others with activities and outings and lots of opportunities for fun, along with healthy food, time to rest and recharge, etc... all things that children need, regardless of whether or not they think they want it.

[Lou]

A while back I had a little girl (5) who started up saying "I'm bored". I definitely took it personally! I would say back "What do you mean you're bored? Today you played with the Barbies, we had snack, we baked muffins, you painted that picture for Mommy and we played outside, that's a lot of fun stuff!" And she would respond, lol, "Oh yeah!" happily and ran off. I think kids often have 'go to' phrases when there is a pause in their day. I totally agree with bookworm too, saying that he is complaining over things he is not in control over...he fully knows this, and is grumpy about it.

[torontokids]

Thank you for all your replies. Today he actually said "I don't like going to torontokids' house, it's boring" (he doesn't know what boring means but it is a word his older brother uses a lot). I just ignored the comment which I think will be more effective in stopping it.

It is hard not to take this one personally. I think because I am new to this and also because my program is very structured but there is a lot of free time built in which I think is good for them and he seems to love it. It makes you question if you're running a good program, are a good provider etc for sure. I have often wondered if I should have more crafts/activities or keep doing what I am doing. I also question if maybe he should be in another daycare since he's older (3.5) and maybe he needs to be with lot's of other kids his age (currently just has my daughter). I selfishly want to keep him though as he is the same age as my daughter and she would have no one to play with then. I think what is tough with home daycare is that you can often have such an age gap between kids or have only one playmate per child. If the two same aged children aren't getting along then they are out of luck.