What to do about parents who are too lazy to potty train?

[Lou]

I have two 3yrs olds in my care who are so extremely ready to toilet train, but their parents are, for lack of better words, lazy about it.
I have requested pullups, which they do send and both kids pee AND poop on the toilet all day long. They may have an accident or 2 but this is 100% because of the fact they have pull ups on and have a back up.
I have suggested to both of them that they are ready and parent 1 tried for a couple days over the long weekend but said "she will sit on the toilet forever and not pee AND THEN AS SOON AS WE PUT HER DIAPER ON HER SHE PEES IN IT" I pointed out the obvious, and got the response "Yeah, we'll have to try that soon". And parent #2 I can tell thinks it's my job to toilet train the child and "can't believe you got him to poop on the toilet, that's amazing, he won't do it for us at home". I suggested putting him straight into underwear for a few days at home so if he has accidents he will feel uncomfortable and learn to hold it in until he gets to the toilet. Parent #2 looks at me horrified and balks at the mess he doesn't want to clean up.

I really feel they are doing their preschoolers a disservice, but at the same time I don't believe it is my responsibility to transition them to underwear (hello, it's called "parenting") Should I give them another nudge? Or give up, continue what I'm doing with the pull ups, and wait until the lazy parents are ready? smh I guess I don't get why they wouldn't want their obviously ready children to be PT!!!

[ladyjbug]

If transitioning them to underwear makes your job easier, Why not? I know a lot of parents drop the ball and the idea of cleaning up those kinds of messes can stump them to the point that they are not ready long after their kids ARE ready to take the next step. I have also heard of several children that are potty trained at daycare and use diapers at home. If it makes your day easier, I'd just transition to underwear for daycares and stop trying to convince the parents. Then when they tell you the kids are finally ready, you can agree and say they've been potty trained here for months and cheer them on during the transition at home. I agree that it should be the parent's job, but why make your job harder trying to convince them day after day? If you are okay with them peeing in the pull up, that's okay too. Kind of the "you can lead a horse to water..." analogy. You can't make the parents be excited about potty training, only decide how much effort you want to put in with an obviously ready kid, without their help.

[mimi]

Kudos for you for basically training THEIR kids and YOUR daycare. I would continue with the pull ups at daycare as it is not your job to pick the time for them to go into underwear. We do the best we can with what we have. Sometimes a situation requires termination when a parent won't co-operate, but in this case, I would just let it be. YOU have them trained at daycare, home is the parents problem.........but yes, I do feel for the kids who are ready for this next step with parents who don't want to deal with it.

[Crayola kiddies]

I've heard of some providers having a clause in their policy book something to the effect of " any child not trained by the age of 3 the parent must take a week off and keep the child home in order to potty train the child. Full fees are still required ".

[torontokids]

I agree with Mimi, I would let them be. You are training them well and the bonus is you don't have to clean up any accidents because they have on their back up Pull ups. I find it more difficult when you have children that pee themselves all day because they are wearing Pull ups and do much better with underwear. These kids seem to have figured it out.

[2cuteboys]

So frustrating. I get that feeling from one of my families too.

My dub isn't that far along - he will go in his pull-up every time, but if I catch him when he needs to go he'll go - so I'm not pushing it, but if I thought he was making progress I'd hope that the parents would at least try to continue with my work.

I'd keep dropping hints that they may only be having accidents because they know they have back-up, or that they might not fully understand "being dry" until they know what "being wet" is. Also tell them how well they're doing so the parents might get excited. Maybe parents will take the hint and try it out.

[Monday 2 Friday Mama]

IMO if the children are not making a mess on your watch at daycare, I'd say this is one fight you don't need to have. I would absolutely sing the praises of the child(ren) at pick up and make sure that their parents know that they had a super day/dry all day kind of day, and use your own discretion about pull up's at naptime. If they need a pull up then use it, and when you think they're ready to transition to undies for sleeping you can pull the pin on that. I always find that sleeping is the "final frontier" of potty training - if they can stay dry while they are snoozing, you're golden ! LOL Otherwise, what they do on their own time with their own child is up to them.