New starter struggling to sleep

[bright sparks]

Howdy folks.

This isn't your typical post about a tough sleeper.

I have a new little boy aged 11mths who is in his third week now. He is a terrible sleeper for mum and dad and also at my place. I am sticking with my sleep training in the hopes that once he gets it here, it will spill over into home life.

I spoke extensively with mum & dad before he started and they let me know what was going on and what their routine is. He typically naps for an hour in the morning about 9/9:30 and then an hour in the afternoon around 12:45/1. At night he is down at 8:30/9 although its been 7:30 since he has been here and on a good night will sleep no more than 4-5 hours in one go. He never has and when they sleep train him at night he cries to the point of projectile vomit which occurs at least 4 or 5 times a week so they had to stop leaving him to cry it out. Mom is so exhausted now that at 3 am she brings him into her own bed just because she is running out of steam physically and mentally. He still doesn't sleep only dozes but at least she can get some more rest.

At my place the morning nap is not every day and its not at home now either since he started with me. But if he does go down because he is pale and lethargic which are his classic tell tales of being tired, he just screams for the hour. Sometimes constant sometimes intermittent. Afternoon nap he usually quiets down quickly but I think it's because he knows I won't get him up, but when I check on him, he is not asleep, just sat up, not playing or talking just sat there. He typically cries intermittently.He has sat for 3 hours one afternoon but he was quiet and at least having some downtime so I left him. He has occasionally fallen asleep but only for an hour which is better than nothing.

Now I understand that it's early days and his not sleeping and crying doesnt really bother me. Not that I don't care, but because I know that each child has to work through this settling in period at their own rate. Generally I have found that my dckids have just slept better at night at home if they dont sleep well here and eventually it just works itself out once they have transitioned fully. The fact that he doesn't sleep at night though has got me thinking.

My 10 yr old son was very similar and still is a terrible sleeper although we have things in place now to get him to sleep through but he seems to go through phases. Maybe some of you remember months ago maybe longer, me posting about how my son won't sleep more than about 4-5 hours per night. Well my son has a dual diagnosis as Twice exceptional with a learning disability, slow complex processing, poor working memory 7th percentile, and giftedness, non verbal reasoning IQ of 130+, 99.7 percentile. After his diagnosis and much research and specialist appointments I now know why he sometimes struggles sleeping and that this starts right from birth. Sleep disorders are more commonly found in gifted children than any other child and with a phenomenal increase found in boys. Some only need as little as 3 hours a night, which my son was getting at one point back to back nights with no change in his temperament or energy levels, where as some need considerably more sleep each night than the average 8-12 a child needs/gets. This for sure was an "aha" moment for me and while it didnt do anything to help me and my sleepless nights lol, it is definitly good to have some kind of explanation and I am forever greatful that I never took him to a sleep clinic, where this cause would have been missed and the high chance he would have been medicated.

I may be way off the bat here, but I wonder if this is the case with this little fella and many other children today. Giftedness and 2e kids are commonly misdiagnosed with adhd, od, OCD and other mood disorders. I keep in touch with all my families as the children leave me so I would be interested to see how things turn out.

Just a thought to get your brain going on this fine Monday morning