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  1. #1
    Starting to feel at home...
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    Chatting at pickup time

    I have a dcmom who loves to chat at pickup time and delay taking her child home for some odd reason...probably because she knows he is a busy bee but that's not my prob! I have tried numerous attempts at speeding up the pickup of her child but she just doesn't get it. I have my own 2 young kids and its just a whirlwind upon pickup. My home is not setup with gates since my daycare space is in the basement and pickups happen at the front door where I like to claim as non daycare space. She watches as her child runs back and forth from one end of my house to the other in his shoes and I try to catch him and put an end to it by saying " ok let's get our jacket on you have to go home now" and then suddenly he jumps to his mom and then again she lets him go and he runs off. So annoying and think I will put up a huge gate at the door so atleast he is confined and maybe that will get them out sooner. What's a nice and polite way of saying that u must leave now as I have my own family to tend too? They are my last pickup for the day.

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    yes get a gate !!!!! and ....Have the child dressed and ready to go sitting on the floor or on a small chair by the door and when mom walks in say " oh heres mom now ....well you have a terrific night/weekend and ill see you tomorrow/Monday." .....if that doesn't work arrange for your hubby to call you from his cell to your home phone and when the phone rings say "oh I better get that you have a nice night " and walk away and chat on the phone ...... or just say "i really like chatting with you but I really have to get dinner on the table as the kids are hungry at this time of day so I need to make pickups a little quicker"

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  4. #3
    Starting to feel at home...
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    Yes! That sounds like a good plan and I've tried all these "gimmicks" and they work on a per day basis and next day it just goes back to same old. Problem is the dcb is always dressed with shoes on but when mom comes in and makes herself comfortable, he sits on her lap and starts taking his shoes off. It's such a drag and I'm not a confrontational person so it's tough for me to be blunt. Issue too is that he acts up once mom steps foot in the door and goes crazy so then my kids feed off that and go nutty too and it's just insane. He's even gotten to the point that he runs to my kitchen and helps himself to cupboard snacks and brings everything to mom (wants to open box of cookies, etc). Today I got a bit ticked off by this as I won't tolerate that behaviour. My kids are entitled to help themselves because its their home but dckids are not. She just watches and laughs "you're so silly". There's even been times where my lil one was crying like crazy and the dcmom continued to go on with her stories as though she didn't hear crying in the background. Arghhhhh!

  5. #4
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    I have had these chatty moms and dads too. The common theme is "me, me, me" and if it isn't about them, seriously they will ask their child to perform for me. "did you sing your favourite song for Mimi today?" "No?" "Well, why don't you sing it now for her?" Are you kidding me? I have had your child for 9 hrs do you not realize the last thing I want to hear at the end of the day is another kids song?
    I realized over time the only way to get through to these people was to be blunt, but friendly. I have their child ready to go and I tell that child in advance (if they are old enough) that when parent comes, it is home time. When parent arrives and starts to tell me about their whole day, I just cut them off with a smile and acknowledge them "Wow, you did have a rough day" and then tell them to have a nice night as at the same time I have gotten up and walked away out of sight. Some people do not know how to read other peoples social cues, so that is why these folks have no clue why people turn down their invitations and don't answer their phone calls.
    I wish you luck.

  6. #5
    Expansive... Other Mummy's Avatar
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    mimi had some great suggestions. I just recently termed a client that was like this. Both dcm and dcd would linger. They would pick up and stay in my yard instead of leaving. Pushing their son on the swing and trying to chat, like they were at a public park. Or they would continue to hang out on the steps by my door, long after I bid them good evening and walked away to tend to my daycare crew.

    They NEVER got it. After many hints, notes written in my newsletters about quick departures especially with multiple pickups at the same time.

    I didn't term over this. But now that they are gone, pick ups and drop offs are so much more easier with the rest of my dcp's!

    Be blunt with this family. Don't feel badly. It is a business, not a friendship. Just tell them that you cannot spend time chatting, when your daycare awaits, or family needs your time. That they may call you at a scheduled time to discuss any issues/concerns/questions they have about their dcc. Then smile politely and wish them good bye.

    IF that does not work...I've got nothing

  7. #6
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    Personally, I bill until the parent is OFF the property. I allow 10 minutes for pick ups and drop offs. So once this mom arrives, the clock starts ticking.... once she exceeds her 10 minutes, late fees ($1 per minute) start kicking in.

    I have several other kids to watch during drop offs so if someone wants to chat, they need to call a friend and go out for coffee. If they want to chat at pick up, they need to go home and talk to their spouses as I too have a family and don't want or need to spend any additional time chatting with a daycare parent for free. You want entertainment at pick up time, then they need to pay for it.

    Harsh? maybe to some but honestly if we are even having this issue with a parent, then it's obvious already that the parent doesn't respect your time as valuable so I do NOT feel bad about attaching money to it.

    Funny how attaching a fee to a behavior curbs it really fast.

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  9. #7
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    I hear you Kelly P, but I think a little chat as they are getting their kids coats on is fine. I am still the person caring for their child and by chatting for 2 minutes they are also checking my demeanor and attitude to make sure all is well and being friendly during this time is my invested PR time in my business.
    If however, as I said before, the chatting has become a therapy session for the narcissistic parent, then I cut them short.

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  11. #8
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    I agree that a few minutes of chatting is fine, after all that's the benefit of home daycare that's its more personal and you get that special attention that perhaps you don't receive at a daycare centre. That being said, the chatting should not exceed an obsurd amount of time. If pickup is at 4 then in my opinion, dck and parent should be out of my house by 4:10 at the latest. My dcmom stays and chats/watches as her child runs around wild in my house for 20 min if not longer everyday. She knows that he is my last pickup for the day so that worry of me tending to other dckids isn't there. At the same time, I have my own kids and hubby who I would like to spend time with and there's just no respect from her end for my time. I once was that parent who picked up my child from daycare and I can honestly say that I was always eager to get home after a long work day. I couldn't even imagine allowing my child to run wild while I stood at the door. Guess some people are just stupid! I say that in the nicest way possible but really, take your kid and go home!!! I watch them for 9 hrs a day, 5 days a week, I don't need further entertainment outside of that. She always feels the need to fill me in on her child's successes and what he did yesterday...honestly , they parent for a whole 2 hours a day before child goes to sleep!!! Either way, putting up a gate and will have to be more blunt otherwise this will just drive me to termination.

  12. #9
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    I have one dcp like this. Very nice person, but he loves to talk. He'll talk for 30 minutes if I let him. He never caught any hints, so I had to resort to being polite but blunt. I flat out said one day "ok, I still have lots to get done today, so I need to go." And I grabbed the door while I said it. THAT he understood. Some people honestly do not get subtle hints, and some people don't pick up on normal social cues, so they need to be told outright that you are still busy

  13. #10
    Euphoric !
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    Is it possible to play outside at the end of the day? Then when mom comes to pick up you say have a good evening, get your kids and go inside? Or another thing you could do is have your kids stay downstairs (depending on age of course) then bring the child to his mom and then go back downstairs. Surely mom wouldn't allow the child to run around your house if you go downstairs. Definitely a gate will help. Also explain to the child that when mom comes he needs to go home and that running around your house is not allowed. Some people just don't understand boundaries!!

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