Help!

[smileyface]

Help! I have never had to deal with something like this before... I have a dad that does all drop off's, and he makes me so uncomfortable! He lets himself in my house (so now I lock the door). He also takes off his shoes and comes right in my house (without me inviting him to do so), sits down on my couch and just stares at me and sits there for a good 10-15 minutes when his child is perfectly fine and not crying at all. I've asked this family to stop doing this, as it's not necessary and it's disruptive to the other children, but this dad continues to do this anyways. Oh and last week he randomly showed up 40 minutes early (thank God my door was locked!) and he was surprised that I wasn't okay with this early drop off. I want to terminate immediately because I feel so uncomfortable with this guy and this family doesn't listen to anything I say... Do you think I'm justified to terminate immediately, or do I have to give notice? I dread dealing with them further because I feel so uncomfortable and creeped out by this dad that helps himself to my house like it's his.

[playfelt]

In theory you need to give notice since nothing he is doing is sufficient in itself to terminate immediately as in no one is in danger. I know he is disrespecting and for some that is grounds. I would probably put in writing what the new drop off/pick up procedure will be for all families and why and then include in that the threat of termination so they are warned. Then if they disregard the information you can terminate as you see fit.

[mimi]

This would give me the creeps too, especially since you have already let them know that this is not acceptable.
You do have grounds for immediate termination as you have let him know how you feel and he continues to invade your personal space. He seems to be a control freak who delights in watching you feel uncomfortable. Since your internal alarm is ringing loud and clear I would let them go.

[busydaycarelady]

YIKES! Can your husband or anyone else be at home when he drops off and you lay down the law? Keep your door locked. If he shows up super early again, don't open it until his regular drop off time. At drop offs, can you kind of block his entrance to the rest of your home with a child gate or by even just standing there? Next time if he begins to take off his shoes, I would say politely , 'No need for that! We have a busy day ahead of us and need to get started with our activities right away.' If he doesn't take the hint, I would politely, but firmly tell him that he doesn't need to come in at drop off as it disrupts your schedule and activities with the children. Plus, it can make for a tricky good bye for his child. Tell him you need parents to make drop offs quick and AT the door. If he sits down, ask him to leave. He knows he's making you uncomfortable and seems to enjoy it. Don't give him that power. If you lay it out for him and he still can't respect you and your policies, I would terminate immediately. He's a creep. And I get the impression he's used to treating people like this. What's mom like?

Good luck. Be strong. This is YOUR house and who is he to intrude in YOUR private residence. You obviously would not do that to him And deserve the same respect from him.

[mamaof4]

ick-- I am a big believer in listening to your gut and if this guy is making you squirm I'd give notice.

[Crayola kiddies]

Ummmm ..... Next .... The fact that he only comes once a week means you only have to deal with it two more times .... Hand a notice today stating that due to a failure to provide the necessary supplies for their child and a general air of disrespect towards yourself and the day home you will no longer be providing care for xxxxx (childs name) after xxxx (date) .
And hand it directly to him and tell him what the letter is for and why.

[pink]

That is terrible smileyface, I have to agree with mamaof4, if this makes you feel uncomfortable, I would terminate the contract. I keep my door lock until 7:00 a.m., I have a separate entrance for the daycare parents and designated space for my daycare. No parents come in my house, that is my private and personal space. I keep my door locked during the day and I have large windows in my daycare so I can see who is pulling up in my driveway and my alarm chimes when the door is opened. I don't answer the door for strangers. Have your hubby around when you give him his notice. You need to feel safe in your own home and other have to respect your personal space.

[playfelt]

If possible it would be ideal to have your husband there the next morning he comes and have him appear just as the dad is taking off his shoes and you telling him that won't be necessary since he is not welcome to come into your home anymore. That is a place for the children not for the parents.

I would really be wondering why he is doing this as his child obviously doesn't need any reassuring and even that isn't a good enough reason. I hate to paint all guys with the same brush as they say but what is he getting out of watching all of those little kids, creepy for sure. When he knows you don't want him there and he still does it that is not acceptable at all. Can you block the door when he comes and ask him to hand the child directly to you and to not set foot in the house since he doesn't seem to know how to turn around and leave at drop offs. If he gets offended and leaves with his child probably even better. Time to replace for sure.

[mimi]

Reading your other posts Smileyface I would term today. I would not want that person in my home another time.

[Fun&care]

Why is it that some parents think that because they pay us, they have all the rights in the world? I understand that a parent wants to " keep an eye" on the daycare provider, but what this guy is doing really is creepy. Seems there have been a few posts lately about creepy dads. Sorry you are going through this.