Force potty training?

[CountryKiddos]

Hi everyone,
I have a 2.5 yr old DCG who's mom wants me to force her to sit on the toilet.
I have told her mom that I do not want to cause unnecessary emotional distress and that I think my reward system (stickers) and encouragement will work in Time.
I also do not think it is my place to use such a harsh method seeing as I am not the parent.

You see, Originally I had volunteered to work with her as things are slow at my daycare, and they hadn't started her training yet but wanted to.
DCG was ready and excited to use the potty and things were going well.
In fact, DCG was doing great just last week- at my house she had two pees on the potty on her last day with me and no accidents.

Over the weekend her mom admitted to losing her temper and yelling when DCG was asking to use the potty but wouldn't pee once she was on it.
She even posted a picture on Facebook of DCG laying on the bathroom floor crying wearing nothing but urine soaked underpants....
Since then DCG has been afraid to use the potty and cries and squirms while trying to hold it in.
Since the weekend incident with her mom, I am able to occasionally convince her to sit on the potty, but mostly she cries and screams bloody murder if I take her anywhere near it.

Have any of you run into this problem before, and how do you feel about forcing potty training?

[Skysue]

Never that Mother just sent her little girl 10 steps in the wrong direction. If the Mom is not on board to encourage then you will never get anywhere. Tell her that, stay on the same page tell the Mom its imperative in order to obtain success.

Send her a copy of this:

http://www.livinghealthymom.com/how-...ys-with-carob/

[KellyP]

Wow! How is shaming the child on Facebook suppose to be productive at all? That is rather harsh...

I would refuse to participate in anything forced. Children do not learn by being forced.

I feel really bad for this little girl.

[playfelt]

Sometimes you can use the opposite approach at your house and actually have success. I have never been one to give in to the refusal to sit on the potty in the sense they don't get a choice to do anything I ask them to do because I ask it for a reason and potty is no different. You can yell, scream, etc. as much as you want but you will still sit till I take you off. If you pee quickly you get down and go play. If you don't you sit there till I decide you have tried long enough. No punishment if they don't go but praise if they do.

I would not share my method or plan or anything with the mom and keep it just between you and the child as to what will happen at your house.

[mimi]

Wow, this Mom is an idiot. We have all had frustrations with potty training, but I think the members of this forum know that screaming at a child gets zero results unless your goal is to instill fear. The facebook picture is just disgusting and I hope her "friends" tell her so.

I have a 21/2 dcg that I am training and it is pretty hit and miss right now. I put her on the potty and I give her positive, no pressure encouragement. Yesterday, my dh put her on the potty and I overheard their conversation. My dh asked if she had peed and she said no and then asked "what's wrong with me xxxx? I couldn't believe my ears as obviously she had been asked this by one of her parents when she didn't produce on the potty. I felt so sad as I listened to my dh tell her there was nothing wrong with her and that she was smart, funny and beautiful and they would try the potty later again. What is wrong with these parents?

[Fun&care]

Yep she has just made things MUCH worse for her daughter. You NEVER EVER make a child guilty for not using the potty or for having accidents. How unfair that she is trying to learn something new and being punished for not " getting it". And I am very opposed to forcing a child to sit on the potty. At my house, they do it because they WANT to. I actually read an article the other day saying how we put so much pressure on ourselves as parents/ caregivers and our kids to potty train ASAP but that really most kids aren't really ready until the age of three...and so far in my experience this has been true for me. I find they "click" more once they turn three. Potty training during the terrible twos just turns into a power struggle. I feel terrible for this little girl. I once had a family admit that they forced their son on the potty and he started refusing to go, and I was left to undo all their mistakes... ugh