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  1. #1
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    Reasons for Termination...

    Have you ever terminated a child who just won't stop crying? I have a child who started in August, and this child is such a handful. This child won't play with the other children at all... only ever wants to be held by me (and this child is 2 years old). This child cries a lot of the time when they are here and it makes it hard to continue with our routine. This child also doesn't nap well... normally throws a temper tantrum at naptime and when they finally go to sleep, only sleep for an hour and then scream at the top of their lungs until I go get them. I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it to have this child here, as I'm starting to dread each day I have this child come. How long would you put up with this before you terminate? This child comes only part-time, so I know it takes longer to integrate, but I've never encountered someone who cries past the first couple of weeks and is so needy from me. It's frustrating that they never want to play with the other children.

  2. #2
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    Also, any tips for dealing with this type of behaviour would be very helpful! I would really like for this dck to socialize with others and not be so dependent on me.

  3. #3
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    Yep!

    Its really unfortunate when there is a child like the one you described that comes into our daycare. Its really hard emotionally on us providers.
    I had a 13 month old who started this past July and lasted 1 month. The parents were such nice sweet responsible people. They interviewed in Feb and paid a deposit AND holding fee until she started.
    Dcg was the only child... long awaited (fertility issues) and only grandchild. Found out quickly she was held all the time when at home and at grandparents. hind, Developmentally, she was quite a bit behind. She didn't know how to feed herself or eat anything other than baby pureed food or goldish crackers/arrowroot cookies (which parents sent for her to eat each day) OR hold her own bottle or sippy cup. I had given parents back in Feb all kinds of tips on how to prep her for group care and had stressed the importance of her being able to feed herself and be on table foods.
    After 2 weeks of screaming ALL day long, not wanting anything to do with the other kids (who were quite upset by her behaviour) not wanting to get put down, not wanting me to leave the room and not eating (since I don't feed them, they must feed themselves at 13 months old) and basically spending her entire day in the playpen, I gave Mom the 2 week warning. Drop offs got better, she would play when she was right beside me on the floor but if I moved... Oh boy she screamed! When out in my backyard it became a safety issues for the other kids because she would scream if I left her side to help the others in the swings, slides, etc and I had to pick her up or risk the neighbours calling Childrens' Aid on me. Finally at the beginning of August, on a Friday I told parents they need to come and get her that I couldnt have that anymore. My other daycare parents were beginning to say something at drop offs and pick ups concerned their child was listening to the screaming all day long.
    I had to let her go for my own sanity. It was such a relief to not be stressed out each morning before she arrived. Days are now so much calmer.
    You have to do what is right for you and all of your other kiddos. Good luck!
    Last edited by Sassygirl; 10-03-2013 at 08:59 AM.

  4. #4
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    When you start to dread your work days due to the continuous upheaval of a dck, then it is time to let them go despite your best efforts. Some kids are naturally clingy and then couple that with being coddled continually and you have a child that can not adjust to daycare. Unfortunate.

  5. #5
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    Unfortunately it is a fact of life that not all kids can handle daycare. Sounds like this one might be one of them. He sounds as if he needs a nanny, not group care.
    I'd term and tell the parent(s) that you simply cannot provide the type of care (one on one) that he requires.

    If they are willing to work with you in helping him to develop some independence, great...but if they are not doing anything to help him and are only carrying him around 24/7 and giving into everything, I wouldn't bother.

    Whether I termed or not would depend HIGHLY on what the parents are and aren't willing to do to fix this.

  6. #6
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    Err... once again this dck is screaming and crying after sleeping for only 40 minutes. This is so frustrating and this child has been coming for almost 2 months now Every other child who has integrated here has never taken this long, and they actually want to play with other children.

  7. #7
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    I have terminated over crying too but with a 4 yrs old (almost 5!!!) She cried all day for a month and a half and it started to bring the group morale down (the littles started covering their ears and crying). I gave Mom a two week warning for improvement but Mom decided to pull her immediately anyways...it went well, Mom understood and felt bad for me and the other kids, lol.

  8. #8
    Euphoric !
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    Quote Originally Posted by mimi View Post
    when you start to dread your work days due to the continuous upheaval of a dck, then it is time to let them go despite your best efforts. some kids are naturally clingy and then couple that with being coddled continually and you have a child that can not adjust to daycare. Unfortunate.
    yes. This.
    Frederick Douglass
    It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.

  9. #9
    Euphoric !
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    It isn't worth what you are making! I would give notice and terminate. I would tell the mom that it is too disruptive to the other children and they aren't getting the proper sleep they need. What if this child's behaviour put you at risk of loosing your other families - would you terminate then? It isn't fair for the other kids in your care to have to listen to this.

  10. #10
    Euphoric !
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    Oh man do I feel for you!! I had a little boy start in September and for the first 2 weeks it was a nonstop cry all day, no exaggeration!!! I thought about terminating a few times because it was just insane, I was at the end of my rope and didn't know what to do. I very rarely drink and I was drinking wine after work a few times!! lol. I had seen what he was like when they came for visits so I knew that he had it in him I just didn't know how long it was going to take to see that boy again. Almost exactly 2 weeks later the crying stopped!! He is now well adjusted and one of my easiest children in this group. He is full time though and part time can take longer. If you don't think you can do it any longer then I would suggest terminating before you burn out! I understand the frustration, devastation, feeling like you are failing, the exhaustion etc that comes with an all day crier so I wouldn't blame you for terminating.

    I would suggest sitting on the floor with him or near him but don't allow him on your lap. I would explain to him that crying for no reason is not nice and the other children don't want to hear it. I would ask "do you want to play or do you want to lay down for a bit?". If he says yes, put him in his playpen for a few minutes and give him time to calm down. Once he is calm bring him back out to the playroom. Keep doing this as often as needed. This is what I did with my all day crier and it worked well.

    Other than that, I would just tune it out as much as possible and carry on with your day like normal. Once he sees that he won't get a reaction out of you, hopefully he will learn to play with the other children.

    Good Luck!!!

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