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  1. #31
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    What I see is a difference between those that have been there and done that and know what it takes to do certain things and those that are newer to the business and still see only the positives and not all the realities. If that child in the playpen that is over the 30lb weight limit gets hurt your liability insurance is null and void because you put the child in an unsafe situation - hence the need for specialized equipment meant for special needs children that accounts for a difference between the developmental need and the size/weight need ie a 4 year old that still needs support for sitting up and can't use an exersaucer like my daughter was. We had to adapt and get creative but I would never have trusted some of our "creations" on another person's child due to liability.

    There are many forms of supposed discrimination - why do people not whine and cry foul when someone wants to terminate a toddler that cries all the time or won't play alone or won't eat or won't nap or won't give in to our rules of play nicely and yet feel it is ok to whine and cry foul when we decide not to accept (vice accept and later terminate) a child that doesn't fit into our program for other reasons including our own health. Please head the messages on this board about back/knee issues and take them seriously or it is your own family that will suffer in the long run when you can no longer maintain an active lifestyle with your own children or enjoy your own senior years due to damage you did to your body when you were younger.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by playfelt View Post
    What I see is a difference between those that have been there and done that and know what it takes to do certain things and those that are newer to the business and still see only the positives and not all the realities. If that child in the playpen that is over the 30lb weight limit gets hurt your liability insurance is null and void because you put the child in an unsafe situation - hence the need for specialized equipment meant for special needs children that accounts for a difference between the developmental need and the size/weight need ie a 4 year old that still needs support for sitting up and can't use an exersaucer like my daughter was. We had to adapt and get creative but I would never have trusted some of our "creations" on another person's child due to liability.

    There are many forms of supposed discrimination - why do people not whine and cry foul when someone wants to terminate a toddler that cries all the time or won't play alone or won't eat or won't nap or won't give in to our rules of play nicely and yet feel it is ok to whine and cry foul when we decide not to accept (vice accept and later terminate) a child that doesn't fit into our program for other reasons including our own health. Please head the messages on this board about back/knee issues and take them seriously or it is your own family that will suffer in the long run when you can no longer maintain an active lifestyle with your own children or enjoy your own senior years due to damage you did to your body when you were younger.
    Playfelt the child I'm watching is moble with no issues except from being a bit slower. I tried lifting him once and knew my limitations, he sleeps in a toddler bed and walks up and down the stairs just fine. I do know if he was say 1 and was grossly over weight I would also know my limitations. I probably wouldn't have signed him due to my safety.

    For me I have just found Daycarewhisper's comments to be over the top rude. She is saying the kids she interviewed suggested special equipment to be wheelchairs? There are ways to be over the top and yes she tops the list.

    I have always valued your comments as I love that you try and see all sides to a situation. We all need to see both sides and that grey part in the middle.

    So thank you for letting me understand your point of view, as daycare providers our backs must be protected at all costs, you are exactly right.

    Thanks for your earlier comment as well regarding speaking to the parents about if they have seen a nutritionist.
    Last edited by Skysue; 10-05-2013 at 08:07 AM.

  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skysue View Post
    Playfelt the child I'm watching is moble with no issues except from being a bit slower. I tried lifting him once and knew my limitations, he sleeps in a toddler bed and walks up and down the stairs just fine. I do know if he was say 1 and was grossly over weight I would also know my limitations. I probably wouldn't have signed him due to my safety.

    For me I have just found Daycarewhisper's comments to be over the top rude. She is saying the kids she interviewed suggested special equipment to be wheelchairs? There are ways to be over the top and yes she tops the list.

    I have always valued your comments as I love that you try and see all sides to a situation. We all need to see both sides and that grey part in the middle.

    So thank you for letting me understand your point of view, as daycare providers our backs must be protected at all costs, you are exactly right.

    Thanks for your earlier comment as well regarding speaking to the parents about if they have seen a nutritionist.
    Naw she said the same thing I said. She didn't specifically talk about wheelchairs as THE piece of outdoor equipment that could possibly fit a toddler of that size but she did speak of adaptive equipment to meet their needs.

    It's REAL LIFE experience talking and the cautionary concomitant issues that come along with the care of this particular child with this particular special care needs.

    If you have an environment that is safe for the child and the physical prowess to do the every day physical demands AND you are able to manage getting a sixty pound two year old out of the house in a fire then you are the right provider for that child. I don't have any of the above. I could if funding was available to purchase equipment, staff, and adapt the environment but in the case of the children I interviewed there wasn't an inkling of insight that there would be anything needed other than an academic program to meet their giftedness.
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  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Momof4 View Post
    Ok, anyone who believes all the info that dcwhisperer iremember correctly spewing, well god help you! It makes me laugh and I would be sad if I didn't know all about her, but some of you may be buying into it so please, please ignore her! Just a heads up from someone in the know.

    Ok, I have a 28 pound almost 10 month old in care, a 31 pound 18 month old in care, and a 21 pound 2 year old. They all 3 sleep in playpens so that's when I have to lift them and I lift the baby into the stroller and booster seat for meals, but the others climb into the stroller and booster seat as applicable. Some children are really big for their age and some are small for their age. If you run into a child who needs help because he/she is obese I HOPE you help the child and the parent as much as Skysue is trying to do, for pete sake, she didn't deserve to be berated in this thread!
    She wasn't berated once on this thread. She was given really good advice. She is fortunate to have a place to come to for free to get such excellent experienced advice.

    You have said again and again that you know me and know all about me. If I remember correctly you even know one of the legions of daycare providers who live right by me. We GET it.

    Next ;-)
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  6. #35
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    Uh I have to say...guys I have a bigger little one in my daycare and I was actually considering terming her because I could not lift her, but she finally started "growing into her size" she is 2.5 y/o and in 5t....

    She was hurting my back...

    I too am plus size, and would never discriminate..... but lets face it, which is more important? Being realistic, or hoping something will change?

    Also I at one point was told that I had to have 2 people come into my home to help me, did that make the health region discriminatory? No.... it made them sensical.. (for lifts and stuff, and I have equipment) I have genetic conditions that make weight loss very hard as well....

    Get real....

    Just because we do what's best for us does not mean we are cold hearted and aloof.

    (Sorry I get a little touchy when people say discrimination, when it reality it just makes sense for them or the situation)
    Last edited by dodge__driver11; 10-05-2013 at 06:46 PM.

  7. #36
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    I have officially decided to say goodbye, this form is getting to out there for me.

    Good luck with your daycares ladies!

  8. #37
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    Skysue, I have been taking a break from this forum too as things got a bit too much I felt. However, in this thread I am not entirely sure how you felt attacked. We basically all said the same thing in different words. Nobody said you shouldn't have taken on the overwight child you have in your daycare. Clearly he is not to the point of needing care that you cannot provide and it sounds like you are doing your best to help him as much is possible from your end. But the scenario DCW described was different as the kids were younger and heavier. I hope you don't leave the forum over this.

  9. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnydays View Post
    Skysue, I have been taking a break from this forum too as things got a bit too much I felt. However, in this thread I am not entirely sure how you felt attacked. We basically all said the same thing in different words. Nobody said you shouldn't have taken on the overwight child you have in your daycare. Clearly he is not to the point of needing care that you cannot provide and it sounds like you are doing your best to help him as much is possible from your end. But the scenario DCW described was different as the kids were younger and heavier. I hope you don't leave the forum over this.
    I reread the thread and I'm not seeing anything but a good discussion about managing child and family if obese children. It's definitely a conversation that we will continue to have with obesity rates climbing yearly throughout the US and Canada.

    I was accused of discrimination in this thread by the OP. I was told that she hopes I get convicted of having a cold heart. Another poster in this thread told participants to ignore my spewing posts. These were both allowed without the moderators involvement. Posts were not removed nor warnings given.

    I think I took some pretty serious hits but the OP was treated well and given real time real life advice and information. She was praised for her commitment to the child and her willingness to work with the family.

    I'm confused.
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  10. #39
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    I am so having trouble with this forum and it is not really about what is being asked or even how people are generally responding it is how others are jumping onto the advice that is given. If you don't have any additional advice or ideas to add then keep your complaining to yourself. By that I mean no one is ever going to agree with all of the ideas but if I have a problem and come to the forum asking for advice I want to hear all of the ideas no matter how far fetched they are. I am quite capable of decoding them and deciding which options I will try and which ones I won't.

    As mothers we can't help bring our parenting styles and beliefs to the forum but we have to make a distinction between what we do with daycare kids vice our own kids even if our own kids are part of our daycare. I know that is a very hard concept for some to conceive. As a "very" mature - read old here caregiver I can practically tell the age of the caregiver by their responses both in what they suggest or how outraged they get at some of the suggestions. That is the sad commentary on parenting. Wearing a sleeper backwards is a straightjacket to some but a method for dealing with little strippers employed by mothers back several generations - maybe even on the complainers for that matter. Leashes are not new - just fancy tails now to mask what they really are - a rope that secures the child from traffic - just as you wouldn't let the child play at the end of your driveway on a busy street why is it suddenly ok to let them be alone on a sidewalk only a sudden slip from being run over. We make kids wear helmets lest they scrape their foreheads learning to walk and yet securing the child away from moving traffic is considered as anti parenting. I just don't get it - I really don't.

    We talk about how each home daycare is unique and that is what we are using as one of our main arguments in the fights with the provincial government over more regulations but still if anyone does something different than what someone else does then they must be wrong and are chastised. We need to be more secure in how we run our own daycares and know that while it is different than others it is not wrong.

    Someone leaving the forum because they don't like what someone said is like kids on the playground and one kid taking their ball and going home because they don't like the game. It serves no useful purpose, hurts those that still need the ball (advice) and leaves everyone feeling empty. A good rule of thumb is to not reply in haste. Read a thread and maybe even go back and scan the entire thread to keep the real meanings in your head and then reply - kind of a form of doing a first draft and a finished copy.

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  12. #40
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    I am assuming the post containing rude comments to Skysue was removed, because I read the whole thread and can't find it either.
    In any case, each one of us has a responsibility to only accept clients that we can be reasonably certain of being suitable for. This is not discrimination. I would not take them on, not because I am cold or heartless, but because lifting a heavy child would put my own health at risk, and that would ultimately inconvenience all my clients. If I put my back out, all of my children would be unable to come. They are between 1 and 2 years of age, and need to be lifted into play pens, high chairs, and lifted onto the change table. I protect the health of my back. It would be irresponsible of ME to accept these clients. If another provider has not difficulty lifting that weight, that is fine. This is in individual decision. But, I would be very annoyed if someone said I was discriminating against these children just because I knew they would not fit my program. We walk a lot, and if the child can't handle that, and I can't carry the child, do I deprive all my other children of our outings? Of course not. I will only take children who fit into my program. That also means, for example, I will not accept children who need a morning nap, nor will I accept children who have outgrown a nap. I guess I discriminate against several groups, if you want to use that term, but ultimately, it is my business! I am not a social worker, and it is not my job to "fix" children who have parents who don't care about nutrition. I respect the parents' right to parent as they see fit, and I respect my own right to accept parents who are on the same page with me about nutrition, or any other important issues.

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