How to approach?

[Momof4]

Wow Skysue! Sorry you took some unnecessary grief on this thread! If it were me I would never turn a family away unless there were severe allergies that would affect my daily meals. But I have a feeling you serve nutritious food as I do, with just an occasional treat on a special day. I would continue to do that if I were you and keep providing lots of exercise for all the children as I'm sure you already do. My only concerns would be that the child would have to be healthy enough to walk at least a kilometer to a park, then play and walk back because we travel almost daily to the library and several parks. Otherwise, I wouldn't have any problems.

We can't control what the parents do, we can only make gentle suggestions. So I really like your idea of a nutrition section on your newsletter to try to help the parents. That's the same as giving little suggestions for any issue, food, naps, toilet learning, behaviour issues, etc. Yes, I think that's part of our job to try to educate the parents gently without offending.

I know I have some parents who feed their children junk food at home but I will continue to feed them all their nutritious food groups at daycare. I know there are some parents who use a lot of tv at home, but I'll continue to make sure the children get lots of activity at daycare. That's all we can do then we have to remember, we're in charge for our 40ish hours a week, then the parents are in charge and responsible for their child's health.

[daycarewhisperer]

I would never turn a child away based on the issues you just posted about. This little man needs me to help mold him and guide him to have healthy core values and to help him identify the best food choices to make.

My group lives outside going on walks, hikes, we ride bikes and are always at the park. In the winter we dance a ton and are as active as possible. Getting physical is what he needs.

I am so saddened by your rude remarks and hope that one day you will be convicted of your un loving heart.

Sorry you are sad! :-)

I couldn't accommodate the children. I would have to hire someone for them to supervise them and care for them during activities they could not do. My business is too small to spread out the cost of an assistant for them. I would have to substantially alter my program to meet their needs.

If they could have come with a subsidy to purchase equipment and hire staff for them then I would gladly taken them.

I simply couldn't afford to provide care. It isn't personal. It's just money.

[Skysue]

1st off this will be my last time responding to you as I feel like a hamster on a wheel going nowhere.

You make your equipment sound state of the art? Are you a licensed centre or a home daycare? What kind of stuff do you own that cant handle larger kids?

My daycare kids play with puzzles, blocks, playdough, books etc... what could they possibly break? I also have booster high chairs nothing a baby can break.

I'm beyond sad ...

[daycarewhisperer]

I disagree as I usually only base my decision on a child's behavior, parents style of discipline, and if myself and the parents are on the same page in general.

Making a judgment weather a child can walk 2 houses down the street based on there weight to me is a clear case of discrimination. It is not the child's fault there parents are making poor choices or if genetics play a role in the situation?

It's not discrimination if you don't have the money to provide the equipment and staff the child needs to be safe and well cared for.

I don't have the physical ability to lift the older child. I tried during the interview to help on the stairs and knew IMMEDIATELY that it was too unsafe for the child and me. I'm not going to injure myself to be a hero to a potential day care child.

I guess you had to be there. I wasn't forewarned that the children were so obese. I wasn't asked a single question regarding having equipment to accommodate their size. I honestly don't know what that would be other than wheelchairs that would need to be pushed by an assistant. I don't know what toilets I would have to purchase and what kind of railing it would take to support the older one. I know the playrooms would HAVE to be adapted to be safe for them to get up and down off the floor.

All I was told about them besides the age and sex was that the older one was gifted and the younger one would most likely be gifted too. They didn't mention they were VERY VERY obese.

[daycarewhisperer]

1st off this will be my last time responding to you as I feel like a hamster on a wheel going nowhere.

You make your equipment sound state of the art? Are you a licensed centre or a home daycare? What kind of stuff do you own that cant handle larger kids?

My daycare kids play with puzzles, blocks, playdough, books etc... what could they possibly break? I also have booster high chairs nothing a baby can break.

I'm beyond sad ...

I'm beyond sad that you are beyond sad.

Us being sad about each other doesn't change the fact that these children would need staff and equipment to accommodate their size.

I could provide books but not wheelchairs. I could provide blocks but not safe toileting. I could provide construction paper but not safe sleeping equipment for the younger child. I don't have a worker here that could do the lifting they would require. I wouldn't trust anyone to manage them on a stairwell.

I could go on and on... I just couldn't provide a safe environment and staff to meet their needs. That's sad but we can't be EVERYTHING to every child.

I own a home child care and I don't have state of the art anything. I am old school. My toys and equipment are top quality vintage.

[daycarewhisperer]

1st off this will be my last time responding to you as I feel like a hamster on a wheel going nowhere.

You make your equipment sound state of the art? Are you a licensed centre or a home daycare? What kind of stuff do you own that cant handle larger kids?

My daycare kids play with puzzles, blocks, playdough, books etc... what could they possibly break? I also have booster high chairs nothing a baby can break.

I'm beyond sad ...

What booster seat or high chair would accommodate a 50 pound 1 year old? Specifically what is the brand?

I do birth to five.

[Crayola kiddies]

I too wouldn't take a child that I couldn't lift or couldn't lift repeditavely with out straining my back. What about playpens ? They have a weight restriction.... So do strollers and wagons. If part of your program is to hike everyday but this child wouldn't be able to do it then everybody is affected. I currently have two 1yr olds that are just over 30lbs each and lifting them in and out if the high chairs and play pens several tines a day is strenuous. No way would I take a 60lb kid that I have to lift regularly. I also wouldn't take a child with special needs as I am not qualified to care for them and I don't take children with life threatening food allergies cause I don't want the liability. You can call me discriminatory but as we are always are saying .... My business my rules !

[Momof4]

Ok, anyone who believes all the info that dcwhisperer is spewing, well god help you! It makes me laugh and I would be sad if I didn't know all about her, but some of you may be buying into it so please, please ignore her! Just a heads up from someone in the know.

Ok, I have a 28 pound almost 10 month old in care, a 31 pound 18 month old in care, and a 21 pound 2 year old. They all 3 sleep in playpens so that's when I have to lift them and I lift the baby into the stroller and booster seat for meals, but the others climb into the stroller and booster seat as applicable. Some children are really big for their age and some are small for their age. If you run into a child who needs help because he/she is obese I HOPE you help the child and the parent as much as Skysue is trying to do, for pete sake, she didn't deserve to be berated in this thread!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I see both sides of this...it's great that some providers will take on any child of any size but I also don't think any lower of a provider who knows their limits and says no to a child for safety reasons/concerns.

I personally also have lower back issues and I was advised not to open up my hdc but I knew that it would be better as I would have the option to sit down when needed which is not really an option in centres. I used to change the kids on the change table but as they get older and bigger I have started changing them on the bed on the change pad(my diaper change room is also my nap room and guest bedroom, talk about multi purpose lol) because they can climb on the bed themselves. If I had a child who I could not lift or could not climb on the bed I could change them on the floor but how the heck would I get them into their playpen if they still slept in one? If they weren't potty trained yet would they fit on the potty or would they have to sit on the big toilet and would I have to lift them up to it? Could they climb the stairs? Could they fit into the stroller/wagon? I have a couple plastic chairs and a couple metal chairs from a school so that would be fine but there would be lots of other obstacles I would face in caring for an overweight child. I would be a better dcp for saying no than saying yes and having something happen to the child because of the weight issue and my back issue.

However, if you have no safety concerns and are able to care for an overweight child then that is great!! Each daycare is different just as children are different and not every child is going to fit into every daycare. It is up to the parents to find a dc that suits their child's needs.

Just my opinion....

[5 Little Monkeys]

Also, unless there are posts missing, I fail to see the rude comments made to skysue?? I see suggestions and what other dcp's would do but I don't see any rude remarks.