jam is fruit LOL...it's too bad that the parents are teaching and allowing this behaviour and way of thinking.

I don't think your rule is cruel or unfair. I have a picky eater and I do this with her as well. She will now take a bite and some things she said she didn't like she now eats. There are days I am sure she is going home hungry but I don't know what else to do. I refuse to give her mac and cheese every day which is what she tells me she eats for supper every night.....and I believe her! I have though included her in the meal planning some days and this helps. You can adapt it a bit to make it healthier...for example whole wheat pasta instead of white.