I totally get what you are saying Playfelt but I don't believe this family is being uptight at all about my husband and genuinely believe they are within their rights otherwise I wouldn't have offered it as an option. I was just simply questioning whether I was reading into things from the wrong angle thinking if the parents attitude towards my out of date police check was too lax. I think as people who have said about my husband having no paper trail, that this is why they are wanting something from him and not me.