Please put me at ease...

[bright sparks]

I had an interview on Monday. Great people and little boy is a super chilled out guy. During the interview they asked me about a police check. I am super honest with everyone so I gave them the response I give everyone that police clearance certificates are out of date the minute you get them. I explained that it would cost me a fortune if every time someone called for an interview I paid for a new more up to date certificate, so I don't. I offered them like everyone else the option that I would have a check done at their expense but that it would belong to me as it is a personal document about me and that while they want to see that it is clear, it would ultimately belong to me. They were fine with this and also that my husband was also comfortable with this arrangement.

They called yesterday dinner time and I missed their call just having checked my messages now and they said they wanted to take the next steps to have their son join my daycare....

Now here is the thing. In the message she said that she trusts that I haven't committed a felony in the last 12months but would like to have the check done for my husband. Should I feel uncomfortable with this? It's not about them running the check on him as I was the one who offered it but the fact that they don't want an up to date police check done on the person who is alone with their child for 4 days/40 hours a week but want one for someone who is generally out of the house five days a week from 5am to 7 or 8pm and will likely not even be here during regular hours more than once a month or two. I just question this woman's thinking and wonder whether I am justified in thinking this way or if I should just get over it and not make something out of nothing???

[torontokids]

I would do it. I think her thinking is probably along the lines of males being more likely to be an offender (sexual, physical etc). As unfair as this is, it is supported by stats and the reality is if there is nothing to hide and you already said you would do one then do it. It will put the mom at ease. Plus is sounds like you have a yr old check available to them and I am guessing there is no check on your husband.

[bright sparks]

That is correct but my police check is out of date by a year and while for sure my husband doesn't have one and it will put them at ease, I find the attitude a little lax towards my one year old certificate.

[JennJubie]

I have had people ask if my husband has had a police check, as well. He works with the school board, so when I mention this, parents are put at ease knowing A)he's had a police check, and B)he also works around children. I wouldn't worry about their thinking. They were probably satisfied that you were willing to have a police check and just want to know that the other adult in the house is trustworthy.

[mimi]

When I started my daycare both my husband and myself had our police checks done. Yes, they are out of date and I would have no problem updating the certificate should it be a deal breaker if I don't for a prospective client. I feel it is a part of our documentation as a daycare and should thereby be a business expense for us.
I haven't had a parent ask about a police check, though I do tell them we have had them done when we opened. It is funny no one has asked to see it.
So I wouldn't be concerned about your clients asking for the check for your hubby. They are just crossing their T's and dotting their I's before they come on board. As for you? You are busy running a daycare, who has the time to commit a felony? LOL

[JennJubie]

As for you? You are busy running a daycare, who has the time to commit a felony? LOL

Haha!

[bright sparks]

Thanks for the reassurance. I too agree Mimi that it is a necessary document for daycare and the reason why I asked for reassurance was on the off chance I was overthinking things and I think I am. If I had the time to commit a felony, I'd use the time to get my hair done lol

[5 Little Monkeys]

I don't think it's a big deal. My SO is my back up as he works evenings so of course the parents ask about him. He works for our school division so he has all his papers up to date, it is me that doesn't lol. They all feel better seeing and knowing this. If you have nothing to hide I don't find it a big deal. I would want to see this stuff if it was me as the parent.

[playfelt]

Mine is so out of date the paper has probably yellowed but I can also give references that overlap - ie no gaps in care back over 10 years which is more than the police check covers anyways. I always explain to a family that if I had committed a crime - and that it only includes convictions not accusations that parents would have left my care and/or my own children would have been removed from my home. Generally that is enough to satisfy most parents. The ones that are still sticklers I put that in my negative list and don't accept them - it usually means they are listening to too much propaganda type messages and would not be a good fit for a home that operates with a more old fashion framework anyways.

It may be that the family is using this same wisdom in not needing you to have a current check but since there is no history that can verify your husband then they are asking for one for him. I also tend to stay away from the families that seem uptight about my husband or my teenage son when he lived at home being around their kids because I don't need false accusations either.

[bright sparks]

I totally get what you are saying Playfelt but I don't believe this family is being uptight at all about my husband and genuinely believe they are within their rights otherwise I wouldn't have offered it as an option. I was just simply questioning whether I was reading into things from the wrong angle thinking if the parents attitude towards my out of date police check was too lax. I think as people who have said about my husband having no paper trail, that this is why they are wanting something from him and not me.