How to terminate my neighbour's child?

[5 Little Monkeys]

IMO, it sounds like this child would benefit more from a centre. They have more staff which means more eyes and they can better supervise him. I understand your thinking in a smaller daycare but hdc's only have 1 adult and this child sounds like too much for 1 adult to watch and make sure that the other children are getting quality care plus safety.

Good Luck!!

[Crayola kiddies]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I knew the answer already, but sometimes it is hard to not talk yourself out of it without someone telling you you're in the right, you know?

I've drafted a letter...what do you think?



Dear XX & XX,
Over the past two months of having "Sam" in my care, I have run into numerous behaviour issues with him. As you know, he is very destructive in my home and aggressive towards other children. I know that he is having a hard time getting used to the routines and expectations at school, so I have tried to wait out this behaviour, enforce consistent discipline, and hope that things calm down and improve.

Unfortunately, this has not happened. His behaviour is now putting the safety of the other children in my care at risk and it is not something that can continue. I feel that "Sam" needs a daycare environment with less children and fewer distractions, and more one-on-one time than I can provide. Therefore, please consider this my two weeks’ notice to terminate care. I will be happy to continue having him for the next two weeks to allow you time to make alternate arrangements, making his last possible day Tuesday, November 5th.

Please let me know by this Friday (October 25th) if he will be coming next week or not, and if so, I would appreciate payment for that week in advance. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause, and please understand that this is not a decision I have come to lightly.

Sincerely,
crazyeight

IMO. It is too wordy ... Less is more. Also if i was the parent of this child and you were telling me that he is "destructive and aggressive" and " his behaviour is putting the other childrens aafety at risk" i would be wondering why you woukd offer to have him back? In my mind I would be saying it can't be that bad if she is willing to look after him for two more weeks.
If he is tipping kids over in strollers and high chairs you would be foolish and negligent to have him back after today. If I was a parent of another child in your care and I found out this was happening I'd pull my kid.

[torontokids]

I agree with the other ladies. I would have today be his last day. I understand you want to give him the 2 wks because this has been going on for a while and you haven't done anything as of yet. You are putting you, your dc kids and your children at risk.

If they "talk trash" about your daycare as a result, it sounds like anyone that knows this child will just smile and nod because they will know that he is the issue.

[torontokids]

You also need to grow some larger balls. "I would appreciate payment in advance" = pushover. If he is to come back (which I strongly don't agree with) then payment will be due in advance and you need to add a piece that if there are any instances during his last 2 weeks that care will be terminated immediately and their child will need to be picked up.

[apples and bananas]

Yes... too wordy.

2nd draft.

It is not your responsibility to tell the client what type of daycare the child will benefit from. Never admit that you can't handle the child " more one on one time then I can provide "

You have done nothing wrong.

Basic and simple... If you want to elaborate in person then that's great. But the letter should say just basically...

Due to Sam's aggressive behaviours, I will no longer be able to offer care for him. His last day of care will be November 5th 2013.

I am happy to offer you 2 weeks of care in order for you to find alternate arrangements, however, payment for the 2 weeks will need to be made in advance.

I wish you all the best in finding the right fit for you and your family.

Sincerely....


When you hand the parent the letter let them know, unfortunately you won't be able to care for him anymore. You are not able to watch him every second and he has shown behaviours that worry you when it comes to the other kids.

Don't mention school or what you think would help him. It's just factual. " This is why I can't, I wish you the best of luck finding someone who can."

Parents can get very defensive and you don't want the parent to be defensive when reading the letter. "well, she has no right to tell me what my child needs.... She doesn't know what goes on at my childs school" The parent will miss the point. The point is, the child is no longer welcome in your home.

Yes, we all needs to grow a set of balls on days like this. It absolutely sucks! But being taken advantage of, having another child injured in your care, getting stiffed for 2 weeks of pay... these are all things that suck more.

Good luck. It will all be over soon.

[smileyface]

I really don't think this child should be allowed back at daycare at all. He is dangerous and safety comes first. I have a clause in my contract that states if a child is presenting a danger towards myself or the others that they will be terminated immediately. What if this child seriously injures another daycare child? Those parents will be after you! They may even withdraw their child. I can promise you these parents will not be pleased with and will probably be rude to you, as they seem to be in total denial. Parents who blame their child's behaviour on everyone else drive me crazy! It really is best for all of you to just end it now. Honestly, once you give notice, chances are they wont bring him back at all. They will probably be all offended and angry that someone doesn't want their child. I have had to deal with a couple of unpleasant terminations recently, but my house is much more peaceful now that those families are out. I would just end this immediately. I feel for you! Terminations are an unpleasant part of this job!

[mimi]

I fully agree with the other ladies opinions. Safety first. Offering to continue care for another 2 weeks undermines the seriousness of the situation. Time for the parents to be parents and deal with their child. It is not up to you to worry about them finding alternate care. The parents have done nothing about the behaviour and when you ignore something this serious, it will eventually blow up in their face. Good Luck

[mickyc]

I agree with the other ladies. Terminate immediately! This should have been done 1.5 months ago.

I have a 2 week trial period at the beginning and if he had these behaviours from the start he would have been gone. This child is out of control and the parent's need to know that it and take it seriously. What he is doing could seriously injure someone and he needs to go today!

[Lou]

I am wordy too. I think your wording is just fine...is friendly, but professional and gives no "If's". I know you probably feel guilt over immediate termination, but I would issue it as well. Today should be the child's last day and certainly no longer than the end of the week. You owe it to yourself and the safety of the children in your care. What a little %#!@.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I would keep the letter short and to the point. If you want to discuss more in person that is fine. I don't think there is anything wrong with admitting that you can not handle this child. We are not perfect nor should we pretend to be. I am here to provide care for the children but I am also here to help the parents raise their child and I would have no problem telling them that IMO a centre would be best and I would explain why I feel this way. We are with these children for the majority of their day and I feel it is my responsibility to the parents to let them know how their child behaves while in my care. I prefer to work with my parents to help get to a solution we are both comfortable with.

If you feel that you can safely allow a week or two of care so that this family can find alternate care than I would offer that. If you think that care needs to be stopped immediately than do that and change your policy to reflect this issue. You know the child better than we do so make the call that you feel is best