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  1. #1
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    First time transitioning a 12 month old to care

    Hello everyone!
    I recently opened a daycare.
    I have a 12 month old that has just started with me. All my other dcks have been in daycare before so didn't have problems starting with me.
    He has come for a few visits with mom and on his own. Today he was here for his first real half day. Didn't want to eat anything and mostly cried in the chair. At nap time gave him his lovey and special music, and turned on my special light show which has been great with the other new ones when they were starting. He cried on and off for an hour but never settled to sleep. I went in every 10 minutes or so to pat his back and reassure but I didn't pick him up. At playtime he was okay.
    I understand that there is going to be a transition to daycare with some crying. How long does it usually take and does anyone have tips for nap time especially. From what his mum has told me he usually lays down with his bottle and music and drifts off.
    Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Give it minimum 2 weeks up to 8 weeks for most I think...but it depends on what your definition of a fully transitioned child is. I started one in September and although he doesn't cry all day anymore, he still fusses at certain times of the day. So to me he isn't 100% transitioned yet. I am still waiting!

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  4. #3
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    Definitely 2 weeks minimum. That being said I did have a boy once that I only managed to keep for 3 days. He screamed bloody murder for the full 6 hours each day he was here until I called mom at nap time to come get him. I was the 2nd daycare already. No. 3 for him worked out.

    For myself I never go back in the room once I lay them down (unless they get up and then I go back in put them back down and don't say a word and then leave).

    It is ok if he doesn't eat much and cries. He is learning your rules and routines so begin as you would like things to end. For example if you consistently go in while he is fussing then he will learn that he needs to fuss and you will come running. If you keep your days consistent when he is in your care he will learn quickly what to expect throughout the day and will be comfortable quicker.

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  6. #4
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    I agree with previous poster. Lay him down and do not go back in until quiet time is over. He may not sleep the first couple weeks, It also doesn't help that mom has a bottle to lay him down with, which is a HORRIBLE habit btw. Please do not do this in your daycare, it is bad on so many levels.

    But yes, if you keep going in to re-assure him then you will never get a break at naptime.
    Is he in a space where he can cry and not disturb the other rest time?

    At 12 months, some moms feel that they are ready to drop the morning nap, but that may not be the case at your house, it is very stimulating and on full days, see if him having a quick morning nap and then a longer afternoon nap works better for him.

    For playtime, make sure you are always within sight on right beside you or in your lap on the floor if possible. he may be very scared of the new place and needs reassurance that you are a safe person lol. give it a week or two of always being there during playtime etc. Also you can set up a playpen where he can watch the others play, he may be intimidated by them and just prefer a safe spot where he can watch before venturing on his own.

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  8. #5
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    Thanks for the suggestions. I have followed your advice and today is going much better. He is down for his second nap now and so far, so good!
    I will speak with mom about stopping the bottle habit. I agree, it's bad. Sounds like she doesn't want to let him CIO at home.

  9. #6
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    Spoke too soon... He must have finished his bottle, then I let him cry for an hour before I got him up. Good thing I got him up because his mom arrived to pick him up a bit early a few minutes later!

  10. #7
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    I just transitioned two 12mo olds and one was easy, the other took 6 weeks! We just turned the corner last week, he has really settled in, but the first few weeks were hell. lol. I let him cry for up to an hour at nap time, and eventually he realized the routine and now is asleep in minutes. I had told his parents that this is how naps will be handled and they were fine with it.
    He also cried or fussed most of the day - just wasn't used to me, my home or the other kids. The first 2 weeks I kept him close to me, and if I wasn't down on the floor with the kids I put him in his highchair, he felt safe in there. Gradually I held him less and less, and he would venture further on his own and come to "check in" with me every min or so. Today I realized how much progress he's made when I was watching him right in the thick of things with the other kids and having a great time
    Something I always do, is tell the parents exactly what is happening during transition. So I told them about all the crying, the not sleeping, etc, and also that I felt it was normal at this stage. That way, if progress wasn't being made, it wouldn't be a shocker to them that I give notice.
    Good luck, and hang in there. I was really ready to give up with this guy, as all my other 12mo olds transitioned easily, but I think he is going to end up being the most easy-going of my bunch!

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