Well I shadowed him right up until the end of yesterday. This morning he was here for 10 minutes and already breaking the rules. He then refused to stay near me so I had him sit. He refused to sit and I had to constantly bring him back.

It is intentional because he looks at me, I say no, and then he does it anyway. He has a little smirk and will even smile when he does things. I have tried the reinforcement of positive behaviour but there is VERY little of that.

And shadowing is not new for him. In the past 3 weeks I have shadowed him at 1 point each week for a few days before reintegrating him to the group. He deserves to be in a situation where he can behave, or wants to. I am obviously not that environment, which I think makes it unfair to him. Maybe he would be like this anywhere? Who knows.

It is not fair to my group that I have to spend so much time with him. We don't get to do any of our activities because I am constantly having to reel him in. I have to coordinate our efforts to get outside, get washed up, etc b/c I am worried about who he is next to.

To clarify: To me it doesn't matter what the rules are at home. Just that there are rules and consistent follow throughs. Mom is a yeller. WOn't follow through. I told her that it needs to be a consistent expectation to follow the rules here and at home, or else have consequences. They also regularly keep him out until 10 at night. So I know sleep (or lack of it) affects his behaviour, too.

His mom regularly makes excuses for his behaviour. It's the age, he's a boy, he didn't sleep well last night, he had lots of sugar.... I don't care why he isn't behaving. The point now is that he needs to. He knows what the rules are. There are consequences for his misbehaviour, and he still doesn't listen.

My main issue is that I am concerned for the safety of my group. If he will not listen to me, and I am busy with another child, I am worried he will hurt himself or someone else. I believe he is becoming a liability to my business.

So I guess I have answered my own question. I am telling mom tonight that he needs to show improvement by the end of the month or he will no longer be able to attend. Any acts of aggression are an immediate call for pickup.

Anyways, thanks for the input. Another reason why you shouldn't ignore red flags during interviews.