Suspected Autism - Parents in serious denial

[5 Little Monkeys]

I have a bit of experience with autism and when I thought one of my previous dcb's had it, mom and I discussed it. He was the oldest in my care at the time and the farthest behind so mom saw the difference between him and the other children every day. He had multiple ear infections as a baby so during one of his doctor appt's she brought up how he was 3 and still wasn't speaking. They hired a speech therapist to come into their home a few times. She mentioned autism to me once and I jumped on it. I told her my experience with autism and some of the more typical symptoms. It put the idea in mom's head and I sent her a couple of articles to read over. Shortly after mom lost her job and ended up staying home with him until he's in school so I'm not sure what came about it. I am almost 100% sure he is autistic though.

Do the parents know you have experience with autism? I know because my dcb's mom knew that I did she trusted me and took what I said serious. I would explain to the parents your qualifications and go from there. If they decide to stay in denial there isn't much you can do but at least you know you did everything possible to try and help the child.

[mamaof4]

This has got to be so hard. One of my kids is on the spectrum and even now that I know...its hard.

[kassiemom]

id say contact your local gov funded centre for treatment and development i.e.: Erin Oak Kids. they will gladly help you approach discussing with parents so they will listen. Some ideas may include Showing them brochures and explaining that help in ontario is FREE until the child is 6 yrs old and there is usually a long wait list. i know in Peel we have PEP Start Program not sure what Toronto has. i'm sure you have done all this but explain that its better to have their child assessed and find nothing wrong than to not have them tested and find out later that early intervention would have been better. Tell them how much you love their DD and want her to excel just as they do.
She may not have autism she may just be way too babied especially from being home with grandma. Plus cultural differences could be to blame too. But I fully understand the concern especially given your work history.
You're doing a good job and i would suggest doing what you can to keep her with you because if she goes somewhere else she may just fall through the cracks.
Keep it up sounds like you are the only voice she has. speak loud and clear.

[Secondtimearound]

Yikes I'm going to disagree !!! You mentioned you were trained in autism and had done extensive testing ? To my way if thinking unless dkp sent her to your Dayhome because of your experience then you had a right to screen her but other than that I do not agree with her being tested.
I know you would notice the behaviours and I think if you were asked you could fully go into it but it seems like they are not interested in you diagnosing their child . I am a mom with experience (25 yrs) of child care I have a dcg right now who I totally suspect has autism . She try's to hurt herself as well . My friend works with special needs and we have discussed her similar behaviour but I would never tell the parents I suspected it. Of course I'm not qualified to do so which I can imagine is hard for you given your knowledge !!! But I still don't think you should broach the subject unless it is brought up to you by parents . My dcg is leaving because I told dcp I am not comfortable with the self hurting and it was awkward because we all knew there's a problem but obviously they are not ready to admit it let alone get help ! Sad ? Yes !!!!! But I feel not my business !!

[Cadillac]

Update Needed!

The parents came back to me worried because I had gotten a bit emotional when they were dismissing the self abuse.

I told them what I suspected. They have gone to the doctor, scheduled hearing tests, signing her up for speech therapy and having a social worker from citykids over. the worker will be coming to my house too. Im ecstatic! the parents are grateful and my little DCG is doing WONDERFULLY!

[playfelt]

Here in Ontario with the new ELECT program they are encouraging it's use in home daycare as well - agency homes will be required to use it and privately it will be our choice but it includes screening the children according to a developmental checklist such as the Nippising Screening test and reporting to parents if we see discrepancies. Now in theory this is what is supposed to happen and in a school or daycare centre where the director deals with the parents I can see it but I see a lot of chance for turmoil in home daycare if we start telling parents the results. That doesn't mean it isn't a good idea to do the screening for our own benefit to know where the child is at and what skills they need to work on. There is nothing wrong with screening - testing if a child knows their shapes or can jump over a rope is what we do all the time to plan curriculum. The screening device just lets us know what they should be doing.

[Cadillac]

Yikes I'm going to disagree !!! You mentioned you were trained in autism and had done extensive testing ? To my way if thinking unless dkp sent her to your Dayhome because of your experience then you had a right to screen her but other than that I do not agree with her being tested.
I know you would notice the behaviours and I think if you were asked you could fully go into it but it seems like they are not interested in you diagnosing their child . I am a mom with experience (25 yrs) of child care I have a dcg right now who I totally suspect has autism . She try's to hurt herself as well . My friend works with special needs and we have discussed her similar behaviour but I would never tell the parents I suspected it. Of course I'm not qualified to do so which I can imagine is hard for you given your knowledge !!! But I still don't think you should broach the subject unless it is brought up to you by parents . My dcg is leaving because I told dcp I am not comfortable with the self hurting and it was awkward because we all knew there's a problem but obviously they are not ready to admit it let alone get help ! Sad ? Yes !!!!! But I feel not my business !!

I had the parents total blessing to do the screening and testing. I asked them before I started.
With autism, the earlier you catch it the better the chances of the child living a normal healthy life. why would you be ok with watching a child deteriorate right in front of your eyes? The children ARE your business so their mental health is a big part of that. I really don't share your opinion in the least. I'm willing to put parents in turmoil and even willing to let our business relationship dissolve if it means that a child in need of help GETS THE HELP THEY NEED. Turning a blind eye to it is neglectful

[Artsand crafts]

With autism, the earlier you catch it the better the chances of the child living a normal healthy life.

I would have done the same Cadillac even if that have meant to loose these clients. You did the right thing

[Secondtimearound]

Probably because I am not qualified to make any diagnosis on a child . I am glad you had permission to test . I do not feel in any way I am turning a blind eye , I do however feel without any training it is not my business to approach a parent . I'm ok with you disagreeing with me , I feel strongly about what services I offer and those I don't . It's not about losing the client for me , it's realizing someone else may be more qualified to help . I'm not sure what you mean watching a child deteriorate or whom you are referring to . As I said I gave notice because of the self abuse , I was not asked my opinion so I did not volunteer any ,and having no area of experience in special needs I am very comfortable with my actions .

[sunnydays]

I am not trained or qualified to diagnose anything either, but I do feel it is part of our job to let parents know if we see any potential signs of their child not developing "normally". Sometimes parents don't realize their child is different because they don't see the child with other kids. We are with the child 9-10 hours per day in a group of children and most of us have a fair amount of experience with children. I will also risk losing a client rather than keeping my mouth shut and saying nothing about the problems I see. Now, I would never say "I think your child may be autistic" because I am in no way qualified to make this judgement. But, I have said "It seems you child's speech is not where it should be fo his age" or "Have you noticed that you child does XYZ?". After that if parents choose to ignore, we have done what we can, but to say nothing at all seems wrong to me.