Suspected Autism - Parents in serious denial

[Secondtimearound]

Again I disagree , I think coming to a dcp with 'oh have you noticed dck speech is not where it should be for his age ' is wrong . Children develop all over the spectrum. If someone said to me about my child not being in the 'normal ' category of development , I would be wanting their credentials ! What gives you the right to question my child's development ? Did I send her to you to be diagnosed ? I feel my job is to care for the child to the best of my ability I do not feel even though I have experience with children it gives me that right .
My services are to provide a safe , caring , educational , interesting , place for a child to be when their parents are at work .
I do not charge for diagnosing and I do not feel unless a parent comes out and asks for my 'opinion' I have a right to say any child in my care isn't progressing at a 'normal' rate.
I'm not saying you need to change your views or practises and I certainly won't be changing mine .

[daycaremom9]

I had a dcg that I suspected of having selective mutism. I suggested several times for mom to take her to the doctors to enquire about it. She never did. whenever I approached the subject mom would agree that something was not right but mom never acted on it. I called our local Child Developmental Center and enquired about this. The worker then had a discussion with Mental Health. The worker suggested I pass along the phone number for Mental Health. I knew mom definitely wouldn't call there so I gave her the number for the Child Developmental Center. She never called.
This girl is now in kindergarten so she isn't in my care any longer. I talked to the mom about a month ago and asked if she's getting any help at school. She said since the girl is doing so well in all other areas, she isn't getting help.
I also wouldn't want to diagnose a child. I just told mom about my suspicions making it clear that I don't have the qualifications for a professional opinion. But it comes down to the fact that it's up to the parent as to whether they're going to pursue it or not.

[bright sparks]

We are not qualified to diagnose but we absolutely should report our observations. I cared for a child and followed the nipissing screenings assessments and handed them to the parents. It is a screening based on the expected developmental milestones for a specific age. It is a government issued form and each answer is a yes or no and the forms clearly state that if any answers are no that it does not mean something is wrong but that it is a good idea to meet with your family doctor to discuss these things.

I wrote a report of my observations firstly zooming in on positives about the child, highlighting his strengths in order to start things off on a positive note. I followed on with areas needing attention. Not wrong, delayed or anything else negative. Nowhere at any point in my report did I inject my opinions or feelings. I did however make them aware of everything that child and family services in Ontario do not recognize as being "normal" (not the word I used) or a noted behaviour issue that they needed to know about. It is my job and my duty to do this as a caregiver for the child and is not overstepping the mark. It is all daycare providers jobs to look out for the child's best interests and by keeping our mouths shut just adds to the problem. When nobody asks for my opinion I don't give it but I will not ask permission to notify a parent of problem areas which require their attention. Denial is a common first response for parents but they still need to hear what's going on. Eventually once more and more people bring it up to them they will actually hear it and it will get through to them to seek out help. It does not mean they don't care, it means they are human and are scared to death that this may be happening to their child so the easiest thing to do is deny it and defend the behaviours with excuses.

As a parent with a twice exceptional child both an LD and Gifted, if I found out my daycare provider was WITHHOLDING information from me, I would see red. How detrimental it is to not tell a parent because you are worried about how they will respond. I am a caregiver so will give 100% to each and every child...that is my job!

[pink]

I have two children with autism, my children where diagnosed at an early age. One of the signs is speech, eye contact, hand flapping. My children have come a long way and frankly unless I told you, you wouldn't know, early intervention is key. You are in a very tough position, any parents does not want to know that their child has something wrong with them. I would express my concerns to the parents, suggest that they see their doctor, they will need to see a psychologist and he/she will run a series of test and they will determine the diagnosis. Best wishes to you and your daycare family.

[nschildcare]

I agree with Bright Sparks. You are with their child all day. Even without training, you should be able to notice if a child is exhibiting differences from others his age. I think it is all in the way you present it to the parent. I just wrote an email to a parent about a child I had concerns with. I framed it in the sense that I was wondering how dcb was at home because I had noticed here that x, y and z. Did she see these behaviours at home?

She responded well to that approach. I'm not sure what she will do with the info. I don't know if this child has autism, or anything else. I am not qualified to diagnose a child. I wouldn't attempt to. I have no formal training on any of these conditions. I DO have experience with children and I just know that what I was seeing was unusual enough that I wanted to let the parent know. If I was the parent, I would want to know. And that is how I frame all my "is this something that needs to be discussed with the parent?".

[playfelt]

When a parent only has one child they do not know what is "normal". It is when the child starts daycare and does not fit in with the group as expected that the caregivers starts to wonder why. Sometimes it is just lack of experience, extreme shyness, stress, unused to lots of noise and busyness so shuts down, etc. Other times you just know that while the other children are moving through the normal milestones that a particular child is struggling. Early intervention is important and it takes so long that the sooner a child is referred for services the better as wait lists can me months if not years. Waiting till the child is in school and the teacher - who is not qualified either says you know this child just isn't keeping up as expected it is too late and many years of learning are wasted.

From having countless children through our homes even without any special training other than observation of all those children we learn what is normal and what strays from the expected.

[Secondtimearound]

I get what your saying , and I can appreciate your point of view . I will say maybe I haven't encountered a child yet who has fallen so behind that I feel I need to discuss it with a parent . I don't want to argue a point just to argue .
I do still believe in what I said , but I get what you are all saying as well .

[mom-in-alberta]

Just adding that I think it really, REALLY depends on the situation and the individual child.
I have cared for a child in the past that I am absolutely certain had/has a sensory disorder. I waffled on telling the parents. I did not in the end, only because although there were some "quirks" to his behaviour, I did not feel that he was not progressing.
One of the hardest things to deal with in this job can be drawing the line between what WE deal with on our own, and what we need to turn to the parents with, and ask them to address.