The other way to look at it is that at least with you, you understand what is going on. What happens when she goes somewhere else and they chalk the issues up to behaviour and punish her for non-compliance and that is exactly what is going to happen. By keeping her and doing the best you can do you are doing the best for the child even if it doesn't seem like that. The road to get services is so long that the sooner she gets her name on the list the better I get that. What did the parents say when you showed them the assessment you did.
Can you drop other less subtle hints such as having some signs of autism and what to do brochures handy and show them that you identified an issue and found a way to deal with it using this same technique. Again you didn't say the word just used the treatment plan. Hopefully when they see the brochure they will realize she has all of the signs on it.
Sometimes there comes a time when honest and blunt needs to happen and it is not diagnosing to put the bee in their bonnet that on many days she reacts the same as a child that has autism and I have been using this brochure for information on how to handle the issues and then hand it to them.
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