Possible termination coming

[2cuteboys]

So I'm stressed to the max right now. I've found it really hard to have fun with the kids lately and I'm thinking that it might have to do with my newest little one.

She's been here since October, adjusted fairly well. But won't nap. If she's exhausted she'll sleep for 1/2 an hour, but will always wake up between 30-40 mins (made it 1-1/2hours the other day - I was in heaven - tried to do everything exactly the same, but couldn't replicate it). No nap = no break for me and I think it's wearing me down. I also have a hard time with her parents. Dcm is clearly of the mindset of "no one can take care of her as well as me" but loves her job so wants to go back. I constantly feel like I'm under the microscope with her even though she hasn't actually used those words. She had 2 runny poops yesterday (we'd eaten a lot of fruit the day before - my son had the same issue) and her bum was a bit red going home. My stomach was in knots the whole night thinking I'd receive a text or email about it.

I got really upset with my Friday girl just now over close to nothing. And I rarely have an issue with her. She's stubborn as heck but I can usually find some humour in it and not get emotional, but I'm just not myself lately. I don't like feeling like a quitter, but I also don't want to stay like this. Plus it's not fair to the other kids and my family for me to have such a short fuse.

I'd like to try to ask mom to make a real effort to get her napping 1/day (she tried once before they started but admitted she didn't like it so didn't continue) and see if that helps, but I kind of feel like that would make it look like I'm lazy. I'm not sure there's really anything that they can do to help.

Any other suggestions to try before terminating?

[5 Little Monkeys]

How old is she? When she's at home, she doesn't nap at all? I don't think it looks like you are lazy, just ask mom if she can try to get her to nap at home for even an hour. Explain to mom that nap time is your break and your time to eat your lunch and get things ready for the afternoon. I can't see any parent thinking that as lazy.

I have a 3.5 year old who doesn't nap at home and mom asked for her to not nap here either as mom says it ruins her bedtime. I disagree but not my child so I said sure. She goes to preschool 2 afternoons a week and that is almost the only time I get a nap time break. However, because she is almost 4 she is fully capable of occupying herself so I do still get a break sort of. There are days she falls asleep and I just let her sleep but tell mom and she pushes bedtime back a bit. So far they haven't complained.

I wouldn't term over no napping but if having the children nap is a must for you than explain this to mom and tell her she has a month (or whatever length of time is appropriate to you) or else she will have to look for an alternate dcp.

[2cuteboys]

She's 12 months, so should definitely still be napping.

She does 1-1/2 hours in the morning at home and close to an hour in the afternoon. I've tried two naps, one nap, varied the time, light room, dark room, sleep sac, comfort objects, books, going in every 5 mins, leaving her to cry. I can't get a decent nap out of her!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Oh so you want mom to nap her once a day and she doesn't want to give up the 2 naps yet?

I would ask her again to try once a day napping in the afternoon as that is your routine at daycare and it would make it much easier on the child. Make sure to put the focus on the child and what would be in the child's best interest and hope mom gets it!

[Secondtimearound]

That is so hard on you !!! I need the down time to recharge !!! Have you tried napping 1-3 maybe just letting her scream it out if need be until she gets used of your routine ?

[Sassygirl]

I feel for you.
I have been there with all of my toddlers at some point.
Honestly? If she is fine otherwise all except for napping... Put her in the room furthest away from the others, it may be in a room you don't want to use but this will only be temporary until she sleeps better... Invest in a good set of blackout curtains and a white noise machine (I have 5 all bought from Superstore, made by Conair $24.99 and worth every penny!) and let her go in the afternoons. Do not go to her at all until your nap period is over and with the white noise machine on she will not disturb the others. I have a dcg who is a screamer from time to time despite how tired she is and I have another white noise machine I put in the hallway outside her room as well to block out all of her noise,
What time is her drop off and pick up? If she is arriving early she probably needs an hour in the morning still. Usually an hour max after drop off is when I do morning nap so here its 8/8:30-9/9:30. I wake them after an hour. Afternoon nap is a must here which is 12-3 but they can get up after 2 most of them have to get woken at 3.
If you stick with it she will become a great napper! Usually the ones who seem the toughest at naps when they start are the ones who turn out to be your best nappers once you get firm with them.
Good luck!

[daycaremom9]

I have a 2 year old that started here a year ago. At the beginning he would wake up after an hour and a half, after about 6 months he started sleeping through for at least 2 hours and recently he's been waking up after an hour. I usually go to him, give him his puppy and put his blankie back on him to no avail. The kids usually don't wake up during this ,amazingly (he's super loud!). So today I let him just cry it out and he went to sleep quicker than if I go in his napping room.

[Other Mummy]

Put her in her own room. Any spare room away from the other dc kids. Sassygirl had some good advice. I would also invest in an ipod with some great earbuds. Play your music, drown out the crying. Eventually she will sleep. You are in essence sleep training her. A 12 month old needs a longer nap than 30 min. And you need a longer break. Don't sacrifice your break. Why should you? You are doing a disservice to yourself and the other daycare kids by not allowing yourself to rest and catch up on things. Those children need a refreshed and rested provider.

If parents aren't on board with crying it out...then I would terminate.

[2cuteboys]

Thanks everybody .

I'd prefer she be on one nap, but honestly I'd settle for 2 if either was longer than 45 mins . I think she needs sleep training. I think she's used to parents appearing at her first noise.

I've tried to get her napping on our schedule while she's here (in her own room), but the issue is that I only have her Monday-Thursday, so the 3 day break has been (seemingly) enough to break whatever habits she may have been starting to pick up here. Parents NEED to start putting in a real effort to get her on an afternoon only nap, otherwise it'll never take off. And she will actually scream for an hour (probably longer if I'd let her) when she wakes up before nap is over. How long is too long for a 12 month old to cry?

She's my last to arrive, usually getting here around 8/815. I think she's up between 7 and 8.

I'm feeling better about it tonight. I'm going to talk to mom about the nap and if they're on board, give it another couple of weeks. If they aren't, I'm going to term. The way I see it, mom can redeem herself for her bad attitude by agreeing to work with me on this; if she doesn't want to, well that's just one more reason to get rid of the stress.

[torontokids]

I had this as well and it was tough, only clients I have ever termed (only been doing this a yr though). Mom co slept and wouldn't let him CIO. Had him only 2 days a week so every week I was retraining him. Gave mom a chance to get on board, things got a little better but not enough. Gave them notice and things were much better around here afterwards.