Is this a stressful job for you??

[kimg]

I started about 1.5 years ago, and for the first 6 months I had only 2 kids and I really enjoyed it. Then things changed with H's job and I needed to take on more kids to make it work. Now I have 5 kids, plus my own 2 and things are feeling different. I feel on edge pretty much all day, with this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Nerves or stress I guess? I live in fear of someone hurting themselves, or of the next tantrum. Nap time is super stressful for me, I spend the whole two hours on eggshells, shushing my older kids, and watching the clock expecting anyone to wake up any time and knowing I'll have to put up with their crying until the 2 hours is up. Then the afternoon is here, and it's a race to fit in diaper changes, snacks, a bus pick up all before the parents start arriving. I feel like I can't breathe. Please tell me it gets better???

[Crayola kiddies]

Well first I don't do bus runs for the exact reason that its stressful .... But I'm assuming its for your own kids so not really a choice.... Second everyone in my daycare naps ... Not negotiable !!! If they choose not to sleep that's find but they must stay in the cot and be quiet. I must admit I'm finding my days much easier since my youngest started full day jk in sept so now its just the daycare kids. It doesn't bother me if someone wakes up during nap ... I have fans running to drown out some of the noise and I just ignore. You could always use an iPod if you have one and pop in the ear buds and listen to some music. Just sit back and relax

[mickyc]

Sorry to say that it doesn't necessarily get better. I find how my days go all depend on what kids I have. Certain kids are very stressful. Luckily my group now is great although I prefer the days my part-time kids are away as they are a bit more demanding. Maybe be more strict with the kids. If you set a good standard of rules there won't be as many kids hurt or tantrums. I don't allow tantrums and the kids learn very quickly what is acceptable. No hitting, no throwing toys, no running in the house, no jumping on furniture, you must all stand in line and wait until I tell you that you can go up the stairs etc - it all helps keep order. Also if there is crying for no reason then they must sit in timeout until they are finished.

All kids need to nap. My daughter who is soon 4 doesn't so she sits quietly upstairs and watches TV. She knows if she makes noise that TV will be off and she will be put for a nap. I have another 4 year old that lays in her bed and looks at books the whole nap time (sometimes sleeps). All other kids sleep. If they wake during nap I will see how long it has been and if it has been over 1.5 hours I will go get whoever has woken up and they get to sit on the couch with me and look at books. I do this because I don't want the little ones making too much noise to wake everyone else.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Has H's job changed and can you cut back a child? If not, I would suggest taking a week off (maybe Christmas break would be a nice break?) and take that time to rejuvenate and spend time with just your family. Don't think about daycare and enjoy some time off!! (If you can of course, I realize holidays are not always feasible)

7 children is a lot to care for every day by yourself and it's great that you recognize that and are reaching out for help! Do you have a friend or family member that could come over a few times a week for even an hour to give you a hand? When I first started I had two under 1 and two 2 year old's and it was stressful, especially getting outside and it was winter. I have a cousin who is a sahm and she would come every other day to help me take them out. It was wonderful and so nice to have that adult interaction because none of the children spoke yet.

Do you have a structured day or just free play? Change it up for a bit and do the opposite and see if that helps. If you can, prep as much work as you can when times are quiet or even in your off time. I cook as much as I can for the week on Sundays, prep any art during morning free play or the night before and try to have a basic plan for the day. I would say I am half and half...I have a plan for the day but it's not set in stone. For example, I go out in the mornings but it's not like it's 10am every day. If the kids are being out of control than I do more structured activities as this calms them down.

I have one that doesn't nap every day but during nap time she either watches tv, plays her ipad she brings from home, reads, does puzzles and sometimes I help her do workbooks. I am lucky that my kids nap well. If they wake up before naptime is over(like within 30-40 mins remaining) I go get them if they are crying. It is less stressful for me to get them and let them play quietly than it is to let them cry the remainder of the nap and worry that they will wake the others. I believe in letting them CIO to go to sleep but I don't really feel right letting a child cry after they have woken up and I know they aren't going to go back to sleep. However, if they are being quiet in their playpen I just leave them as I have them on video monitor and can see what they're doing. Some providers require children to nap the whole time so do what works and feels best for you.

If you're finding the afternoon a rush, maybe cut back nap even just 10 minutes? That ten minutes will ease the rush and allow you to get things done. Could you maybe even change the kids that get picked up last after you get back from bus pick up?

For the most part I would say I am not stressed. There are definitely times that I am stressed though and I know what it's like and it's not fun! Just breathe, remind yourself that you are doing fine, the kids are fine, alive and all is well. I have bad moments/days but it's rarely a bad week and I try to find the positive in it somewhere.

Good Luck!!

[Other Mummy]

It is definitely a balancing act. Most days I'm working from 6:30am - 10:00pm. This includes caring for my own family of 5. We hired a local lady that does school runs with her vehicle for our 2 children so bus/school runs would not be an issue. Yes, it eats into our budget, but I cannot imagine hiking the 15 min. walk uphill both ways with 5 dck's and my own 3.5yr old. Is this an option for you? Perhaps a mom that is already doing the bus run with her own children?

Nap is non negotiable at my house as well. There are a couple of children that either nap for a short duration, or don't nap at all. They stay quite in their playpens/beds until naptime is over.

Don't think it gets easier. But you certainly learn how to juggle and balance and prioritize. You don't want to burn out in this profession. You need to make yourself a priority.

[nschildcare]

I totally agree with seeing if someone else can do the bus pick up. Is it your child? Are they able to walk it themselves? I was this way last year, trying to pick up my kids from school. This year I decided to let them walk home by themselves and it is so much better. They are 6 and 7 this year. It cut out a huge amount of my daily stress right there.

As for naps, set your schedule and be consistent. If my kids don't nap the whole time, fine, but they know to stay quiet. If they wake up early I will take them a few books, etc. It helps to spread them out if you have the space. I was completely frazzled until I realized that a certain few were keeping the others up. I have 2 that can be in the same room and 2 that are separated. This helps to make sure everyone has their space. I spend the first 20 minutes of nap (once every 10 mins) going in to remind them to put their head down, please be quiet their friends are sleeping, etc) and then they are either quiet or asleep. If they wake up early, I will take them some books to look at. With non-nappers, I require them to lie quietly for 30 minutes. If they are still awake, I will bring them a book to look at in their quiet spot. Then after an hour they can get up and do something quietly. I always have non-nappers in a different area from nappers. I always tell them that rest time is non-negotiable but that they don't have to sleep.

When I am feeling completely overwhelmed with my day, the things that can turn it around are:
1. Putting on some music and letting the kids dance. They love it.
2. Going outside. Even the days when I dread the idea of getting them all dressed. It is a perfect way to burn off extra energy and a great way for a breather, literally.

For you: during rest time - sit. Read a book. Do some yoga. Watch a movie. Relax. Things don't have to be perfect every day. I am a stickler for meals and naps being at the same time but the rest of the day flows from one activity to the next. If the kids are playing together nicely at free time, I'll leave them and save the painting for tomorrow. If the kids are really into playdough and we are missing stories, that's ok. The kids won't know the difference. Can your husband help out? Cook dinner? Help with housework? My husband will cook supper if he is home which helps immensely at the end of the day. We always make lots so that there will be leftovers for daycare lunch the next day.

Good luck!

[kimg]

Thanks everyone for your good suggestions.

The bus runs can't be cut out. It's for my 5 yr old who is too young to go by herself, and she is the only one at the bus stop, so I don't have anyone to ask to drop her off/bring her. Most days I don't mind because it gets us outside, and it's a time waster. But I'm finding it hard to get everyone ready now that the weather is colder. I only had 2 daycare kids last winter, so the whole coat/hat/mitts thing is taking much longer.

My parents and my ILs live 35 minutes away, and all work. I don't have any other family or friends in the area to fall back on, unfortunately.

I think I definitely need to be more structured. We do circle time/story time every morning, and we get to the park 75% of week, but I don't do a lot of arts and crafts. I find it takes me longer to prep and clean up than it does keeping them occupied, but maybe I'm trying the wrong activities.

Nap time is a work in process. I have a new 12 month old that only naps for 40 at the most. And two others that nap in the basement, and one always wakes up the other. THe girl is leaving next week, and I'm hoping things will get better in that departnemt. I just don't know how to keep the older kids quiet. There is my son, and another boy, both 3.5. I use to have them watch a movie upstairs in my room, but I was up there every 10 minutes because they were getting too loud. Now they watch a movie/tv in the living room where I am, but that is even worse because now all the nap kids can hear them if they are loud. I think I'm going to take the suggestion of the person who said that she gives her older kids a chance to keep quiet and if it doesn't work, to turn it off and it's nap time. I'll try that.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to write out such long and thoughtful responses. You've given me a lot to think about, and some great suggestions. I'm really glad I found this place

[Crayola kiddies]

Last summer when I still had my son here I also had a dcb exact ally the same age and split them up during nap time because they would get loud .... I stopped my sons naps cause his school didn't not have afternoon nap time but my dcb school did ... So I kept him napping and put my son in my bedroom to watch tv .... Next summer I will have another one heading off to jk so the last two or three weeks of summer I will send her outside in the aft with my kids instead of napping her. I also have all my dcks in different rooms in play pens with fans running so if they wake up they don't bother anyone else. I am also mostly free play and if truth be told I hate crafting so I only do it at holiday time , however there is always colouring pages, chalk, and play doh available at all times so they can get their creative yaya's out. Kindergarten is play based now so I follow that !
I also have a new 12 month old that started last week and pretty much cries all day and his napping is not great so my stress level is up a bit currently but I'm counting on it not lasting long as he settles in. All my kids are full time and I have 3 boys and two girls.... The girls are the oldest at 3 and 2.5 and the boys are 12 , 22, and 25 months .... Outside time is going to be a bit of a struggle with the wee one but the other 4 can basically dress themselves except for zippers and mittens . My advise is to just have a few days of just sitting back and watching them play ... Get them up from nap 15 mins early so you are not rushed and let them play outside for a few minutes if your early for the bus. Set up some fans or white noise machines and split the kids up so they are not bothering anyone ....I have a play pen in each bedroom and the oldest sleeps on a sleep mat on the play room floor.
Hoping for some stress free days in your future