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DayHomeMama Do you find your 'house... 11-18-2013, 10:25 AM
playfelt I think our rules will always... 11-18-2013, 10:48 AM
gravy_train I present it to the parents... 11-18-2013, 11:03 AM
mickyc I agree! There won't ever be... 11-18-2013, 01:38 PM
CrazyEight Oh man, the difference in... 11-18-2013, 01:53 PM
DayHomeMama Oh my goodness CrazyEight!... 11-18-2013, 02:35 PM
DayHomeMama Mickyc, what is your... 11-18-2013, 02:31 PM
mickyc It depends what it is. I... 11-18-2013, 03:03 PM
playfelt I don't bother telling the... 11-18-2013, 01:47 PM
5 Little Monkeys I don't tell them of every... 11-18-2013, 01:57 PM
torontokids This is the case here as... 11-18-2013, 02:15 PM
DayHomeMama Oh thank goodness for you... 11-18-2013, 02:41 PM
5 Little Monkeys My almost 4 year old goes to... 11-18-2013, 06:10 PM
  1. #1
    Euphoric !
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    I agree! There won't ever be anyone who will do everything exactly the same as you. I am more strict than my daycare parents. I see how the kids become defiant and mouthy to their parents. They know they are never allowed to speak to me that way. I don't allow tantrums, bad behaviour, talking back etc. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen but they know that they will have consequences to their actions.

    I quit worrying about telling the parents about these type of things. Obviously the parents let their child away with it at home and that is why they do it. I also am tired of excuses for the behaviour. I will only tell a parent if the behaviour has been bad enough to get a timeout.

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  3. #2
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    Oh man, the difference in discipline and expectations is driving me crazy right now! I have 2 sets of siblings, boys ages 5 & 1 and girls ages 3 & 1. It's easy to see that the boys are taught manners and respect at home; the 5-year-old might be a bit of a goody-goody, but he always says please and thank you, he listens, he gets his shoes and coat on when told to, etc. His little brogher is adorable and will share when asked at 17 months, likes to cuddle, responds to the word "no" etc. They're generally pretty good kids.

    The girls, on the other hand, are giving me a ton of grief at the moment. The 3-year-old talks back whenever I ask her to do ANYthing, has an excuse for everything, and needs constant reminders to do anything. I asked her to clean up the basket of toys she was playing with in the kitchen this morning and she responded with "I don't think so." She's also extremely rough with the babies ( I also have a one-year-old, so she's here all day with 3 little ones). She shoves her sister constantly, yells "no" and rips toys out of the babies' hands, refuses to share, and it's definately rubbing off on her sister. She's 16 months old and already screams and pushes other kids whenever they come near what she's playing with, has temper tantrums when I put her in a highchair or stroller. From the outside, it's so easy to see the behaviour being learned from her older sister.

    I find Mondays are always the hardest. They'v spent the weekend walking all over mom and dad (who have both admitted the 3-year-old runs the house) and then it's a bit of a shock to their system when they come back here and get put in time-out for pushing and shoving, or made to clean up before they're allowed to move on to another activity. By mid-week they've calmed down a bit and remembered at least some of the expectations, but there's only so much we can do when they go home and all the structure and discipline and manners evaporate and are not expected anymore.

    I can't suggest much more than talking to the parents, but in my case, this doesn't do much, as they laugh it off and say things like "she's a wild one!" or "she's a spirited child!" It's incredibly frustrating...hopefu lly your dcparents are more receptive! Good luck!

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  5. #3
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    Oh my goodness CrazyEight! That sounds exactly like my siblings, boys ages 4 and 2. The dhm's reaction especially. After letting dhm know that the younger one was hitting and screaming at the other kids she replied with "He's really coming into his own personality isn't he?" Um, WTF? lol

    Quote Originally Posted by CrazyEight View Post
    Oh man, the difference in discipline and expectations is driving me crazy right now! I have 2 sets of siblings, boys ages 5 & 1 and girls ages 3 & 1. It's easy to see that the boys are taught manners and respect at home; the 5-year-old might be a bit of a goody-goody, but he always says please and thank you, he listens, he gets his shoes and coat on when told to, etc. His little brogher is adorable and will share when asked at 17 months, likes to cuddle, responds to the word "no" etc. They're generally pretty good kids.

    The girls, on the other hand, are giving me a ton of grief at the moment. The 3-year-old talks back whenever I ask her to do ANYthing, has an excuse for everything, and needs constant reminders to do anything. I asked her to clean up the basket of toys she was playing with in the kitchen this morning and she responded with "I don't think so." She's also extremely rough with the babies ( I also have a one-year-old, so she's here all day with 3 little ones). She shoves her sister constantly, yells "no" and rips toys out of the babies' hands, refuses to share, and it's definately rubbing off on her sister. She's 16 months old and already screams and pushes other kids whenever they come near what she's playing with, has temper tantrums when I put her in a highchair or stroller. From the outside, it's so easy to see the behaviour being learned from her older sister.

    I find Mondays are always the hardest. They'v spent the weekend walking all over mom and dad (who have both admitted the 3-year-old runs the house) and then it's a bit of a shock to their system when they come back here and get put in time-out for pushing and shoving, or made to clean up before they're allowed to move on to another activity. By mid-week they've calmed down a bit and remembered at least some of the expectations, but there's only so much we can do when they go home and all the structure and discipline and manners evaporate and are not expected anymore.

    I can't suggest much more than talking to the parents, but in my case, this doesn't do much, as they laugh it off and say things like "she's a wild one!" or "she's a spirited child!" It's incredibly frustrating...hopefu lly your dcparents are more receptive! Good luck!

  6. #4
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    Mickyc, what is your progression of consequences? I usually remind/ask/direct once and then if they do not listen they receive a time out. I've had dhp complain that their child gets too many time outs, but this child is disrespectful, rude, physical with other children sometimes. I don't just give time outs for fun, but me reminding more than once is counterproductive I feel.

    Quote Originally Posted by mickyc View Post
    I agree! There won't ever be anyone who will do everything exactly the same as you. I am more strict than my daycare parents. I see how the kids become defiant and mouthy to their parents. They know they are never allowed to speak to me that way. I don't allow tantrums, bad behaviour, talking back etc. That doesn't mean it doesn't happen but they know that they will have consequences to their actions.

    I quit worrying about telling the parents about these type of things. Obviously the parents let their child away with it at home and that is why they do it. I also am tired of excuses for the behaviour. I will only tell a parent if the behaviour has been bad enough to get a timeout.

  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by DayHomeMama View Post
    Mickyc, what is your progression of consequences? I usually remind/ask/direct once and then if they do not listen they receive a time out. I've had dhp complain that their child gets too many time outs, but this child is disrespectful, rude, physical with other children sometimes. I don't just give time outs for fun, but me reminding more than once is counterproductive I feel.
    It depends what it is. I have the timeout chair as well as the couch. Timeout is for really bad behaviour, like hitting, throwing toys or having to be told multiple times about certain behavior.

    If a child is being mouthy I usually give them a chance to rethink their behaviour and ask them to try again. If I get the same response or a similar one then they are to go to the couch and told they are not allowed to speak to me that way. If it continues then they get timeouts. It all depends on the tone and their behaviour at the time as well. Any child throwing a tantrum which involved screaming or kicking is immediately put in timeout. If they continue to behave that way on the time out chair the chair is moved into the nap room and they sit in there. It never gets to that point.

    For the most part my group of kids right now is excellent. I don't have too many issues.

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