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  1. #1
    Shy
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    One year old being too rough

    Hi everyone,
    I have a very young group that includes 3 one year old's (including my own) one of the one year old dck's is very rough when he plays.
    They are all at the stage where they are just starting to walk, so they all cling to the furniture and such while making their way around the room.
    This DCK runs while clinging to the furniture and when he comes up on another child he body checks and rams his way past them to get to toys before them, and climbs over and tramples them when they fall...he has no idea that he is hurting them and looks confused when they cry. Any suggestions about how to deter this behaviour?
    He also steals toys by ripping them out of the other's hands roughly.
    This sort of rough behaviour is starting to rub off on the others and I have noticed the others trying to hit him when he approaches....
    I have scolded him and redirected him but he isn't any better yet.

  2. #2
    Outgoing
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    I have the same thing - 3 one-year-olds, including my own, but in my case it's a little girl who's rough. In her case, though, it's definately learned behaviour. She has a 3-year-old sister who I also watch who is very rough with her, and the little one has obviously learned that to get what she wants she needs to push, kick, and grab. I redirect as much as I can, but I'm trying to focus on correcting the older one's behaviour, who at 3 and a half, should know better and can understand consequences. Does your dcb have an older sibling that could be showing him this behaviour?

    The only other suggestion I have is to go out of your way to praise any good behaviour. I've been very firm with her, taking toys away from her and giving them back to the child she took it from, etc, and then whenever she does do something gentler she gets tons of praise for it. It seems to help a little bit, but I'm at a bit of a loss too - you can't exactly put a one-year-old in time out!

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
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    They are babies and you have to teach them how to play nice. It will take a lot of work in the beginning but it will get easier. Remind them to use "gentle hands", "play nice", "no hitting" etc. Say this while you correct the behaviour, so if they took a toy I would say "so and so has this right now" and give it back to that child. A child doesn't just know this stuff so you have to teach them and show them the right way to play.

    Good Luck!!

  4. #4
    Euphoric !
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    Basically the child doesn't recognize the other child as a child but only as an object. The whole idea of parallel play comes into effect here in the sense they just go about doing their own thing. Part of helping them learn to be a group will be about teaching them about each other. Do some things together with them - hand games, body part songs, etc. Start showing them toys and play such as blocks and all working on the same structure as you are.

    Some are just baby "bulls in a china shop" as they say and they need to be given an area all their own to move in till they start walking. You job becomes one of crowd control. Not fun but they also do tend to be the first to let go and just walk.

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  6. #5
    apples and bananas
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    I have a new one year old that just started. he has a big sibling that has been known to play rough.

    Today is day 2, and there hasn't been a drop of crying for mom. He's crawls right in without even a goodbye. What a dream. But! He throws dishes, has no idea how to sit nicely in a high chair. Is completely attracted to gates, stairs and anything else he shouldn't be around. LOL And he's a tough one. Takes toys, pushes by, throws, everything is in the mouth.

    So, my plan of attack is simply to shadow constantly for the next while until I can gain some trust in him. I think consistency is the key and if that means that we are unscheduled and flying by the seat of our pants for the next week or so then so be it.

  7. #6
    Shy
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    I am not sure where he is picking up this rough behaviour from as he has no siblings. I think he just has a very competative and determined personality mixed with what playfelt said about not seeing the others as people, but rather as objects in his way. I am encouraging gentle behaviour and scolding and redirecting when rough behaviour occurs...hopefully he gets the idea soon!

  8. #7
    Euphoric !
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    Some of it may be coming from the father and how he plays with him. I have had to speak to a few over the years reminding them that it is great to roughhouse with your kids but that they don't grasp that we do things that are intense but we do them safely and jokingly. Then the kids turn around and try the same things on their friends in the name of play and people get hurt. Parents nibbling on ears, or noses or tummies or fingers for example and then we have a child that bites and is told no. Giving raspberries is another one that often results in a biter because the child things it is something in fun but they don't realize how to do it properly.

    Ask dad especially - if part of play is dad laying on the floor and the child climbing all over him and laughing and giggling and having fun. That is what the child has learned is how he interacts with others.

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